- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve had OCD for over 25 years. I was around your age it turned into Pure-O. It started with just one thought about hurting someone, and that turned into 15 years of untreated and severe harm OCD. I had other themes during that time as well. I had all the same concerns and fears you have. “Am I going crazy?” “Am I going to snap and act on these thoughts?” “Am I a monster?” “Is my life over?” Here I am, 35 years old, and my life is better than it’s ever been. I’m so excited for the future, because I’ve got so much life to live and so much left to do. It can, and does, get better. The good news is a place like NOCD exists now. When this was happening to me, there wasn’t even a therapist in the state I lived who has experience with ERP. I can’t promise it will be easy. I can’t promise you won’t struggle. But I can promise you it isn’t over. Not by a lot.
- Date posted
- 4y
"I'd rather die than harm a child" literally the furthest thing from a p*** that's possible. Real p*** don't worry about their attraction. They're encouraged to act on it. They even feel like they're enlightened because of it. You're acting the complete opposite of that.
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh my dude I get the same thoughts. I dont know why I have groinal responses but apparently it’s because where compulsively testing if its true. But if you stop thinking and go to think about something else, it usually stops. I know exactly how you feel. My stomach churns from the thought and I was in the stage your in a few days ago. I’m alright now. You have to focus on something else. Read a book, watch a show, these things are going to have triggers sometimes, push through.
- Date posted
- 4y
Do some erp. You can do this, you can handle the pain I know you can, you will get through this
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
It’s like my brain is doing everything in its power to convince myself and also justify an attraction to teenagers. I hate myself. I don’t want to be this person, but what if I don’t have a choice. How do I get these thoughts out of my head permanently. I feel like my life will never be the same if they don’t leave forever. I can’t tell what is a real desire and what OCD is trying to convince me is a real desire. I can’t do this every day for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or I don’t think I do but how do I even tell anymore. This might not even be OCD at this point, I can’t separate my thoughts from OCD thoughts I think because I’ve had OCD for so long so it all just feels like me. Maybe it is me. TMI but I haven’t pleasured myself in like a week because my libido is so low now, I don’t want to do it with these thoughts.
- Date posted
- 20w
I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression
- Date posted
- 18w
(21+ ONLY PLEASE: TRIGGER WARNING) I’m just so sick of it. I’m letting it win. I’m letting it beat me. I’m losing. I’ve been seeing a therapist but we only meet every two weeks for an hour because of my insurance. I can’t afford any more visits. We’ve been working on ERP but I still feel stuck. Just recently, we went through a drive thru and the kid at the window looked really young. I’m afraid that I found him attractive and I felt a groinal at the thought. I f*cking hate my mind. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m trying but I still feel like it’s not enough. I’ve let my parents down, my friends and my family. Everyone who knows me doesn’t know the thoughts I have and how sick and disgusted I feel with myself.
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