- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve had OCD for over 25 years. I was around your age it turned into Pure-O. It started with just one thought about hurting someone, and that turned into 15 years of untreated and severe harm OCD. I had other themes during that time as well. I had all the same concerns and fears you have. “Am I going crazy?” “Am I going to snap and act on these thoughts?” “Am I a monster?” “Is my life over?” Here I am, 35 years old, and my life is better than it’s ever been. I’m so excited for the future, because I’ve got so much life to live and so much left to do. It can, and does, get better. The good news is a place like NOCD exists now. When this was happening to me, there wasn’t even a therapist in the state I lived who has experience with ERP. I can’t promise it will be easy. I can’t promise you won’t struggle. But I can promise you it isn’t over. Not by a lot.
- Date posted
- 4y
"I'd rather die than harm a child" literally the furthest thing from a p*** that's possible. Real p*** don't worry about their attraction. They're encouraged to act on it. They even feel like they're enlightened because of it. You're acting the complete opposite of that.
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh my dude I get the same thoughts. I dont know why I have groinal responses but apparently it’s because where compulsively testing if its true. But if you stop thinking and go to think about something else, it usually stops. I know exactly how you feel. My stomach churns from the thought and I was in the stage your in a few days ago. I’m alright now. You have to focus on something else. Read a book, watch a show, these things are going to have triggers sometimes, push through.
- Date posted
- 4y
Do some erp. You can do this, you can handle the pain I know you can, you will get through this
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and I’m hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldn’t be sexualized out of anxiety. I’m ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I don’t want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and it’s driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them I’m scared of compulsions, I’m scared of thoughts, I’m scared to be awake, I’m even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. I’m exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isn’t feeling any less severe and it’s been months. I don’t want to keep questioning my every move but I’m so hyperaware of everything I do. I’m so tired. Some days I don’t even have tears to cry with. I’m just so full of despair and shame
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- BIPOC with OCD
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- Relationship OCD
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- Mid-life adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- POCD
- Harm OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Date posted
- 17w
Just gonna vent, this never happened to me before during my 20 years alive. Whether it is POCD or not, I have truly lost my sense of self and my innocence. Why of all things did this have to happen. Ive been experiencing more strong groinal responses and mixed feelings of arousal regarding specific thoughts. Its so odd, cause last month none of this happened, it was mainly just anxiety and mental breakdowns. Never did I think I would experience physical sensations as well. Acting on compulsions as well left me feeling absolute confusion, Ive stopped doing that but now I get the urge here and there, and Ive learned to sit with the discomfort. All this leaves me with more questions on whether I will truly get through this or not, or if people will understand my situation. On certain days I feel fine, on other days its sheer terror. I blame myself mainly for this all, It is scary as these images, causing both arousal and terror, only result in me feeling like a shell of my former self
- Date posted
- 14w
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
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