Hi everyone. I've struggled mostly with just order & symmetry OCD, but lately feel like I might be developing suicidal OCD. I find myself often worrying about becoming depressed and that it will cause me to commit suicide, even though when I think about it I really don't want to die. And I feel like worrying about getting depressed and committing suicide is making it more real, and making me depressed and have suicidal thoughts even more. Does anyone else struggle with this? How do you cope / do ERP for it?

hi, i don't struggle with this however i have been very depressed before due to my intrusive thoughts and anxiety (not exactly the same thing but i can give you some tips). this could mean that you're developing suicidal ocd or that you're stuck in a depressive rut due to your ocd. i recommend talking to a therapist or psychiatrist. what helps me when i'm feeling depressed is to take some time for myself (while letting the thoughts flow). if you notice that it's affecting your everyday life then see about meeting with someone! best of luck<3

Working with an ocd specialist is your best bet for a swift recovery. I’m always going to push that option first and foremost. But if accessing treatment with an ocd specialist isn’t viable right now, there are other options. Try a workbook: the Mindfulness Workbook for OCD is a good one. https://m.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-mindfulness-workbook-for-ocd-jon-hershfield/1113893446 There are also online CBT courses for ocd like: CBT School and OCD and Anxiety Online https://www.cbtschool.com/ https://www.ocdandanxietyonline.com/ It’s okay to be depressed. And it’s okay to be struggling with this obsession right now. You’re not alone and this is very common for people suffering with ocd. With proper treatment, it can/will get better.

I actually developed this while doing ERP for something else. It’s aweful. I’ve been doing much better with it though. A therapist is your best option. I spent time with mine writing things “like this will happen” and just really let myself sit with the uncomfortable thoughts. It was very hard but eventually they lost almost all their power

I have this exactly. From all of this I also developed existential ocd which made it even harder. Try to sit with these thoughts, it’s hard. Also taking about them and saying the word out loud. You are not alone!