Hello everyone this is my first time writing on here and I’m really scared to even say something because I have never had proper help with ocd or been diagnosed but I’ve been dealing with severe ocd since 2017 now. I just want to get better but it feels like there is no way out at times. My most common are sexual thoughts or pocd or ocd related to my family, sexual or harm. Yesterday my niece was at my house and I adore her to bits but over the past year I’ve become very distant with her and I don’t like hugging her or touching her or just being close to her. It makes my heart break because she is everything to me and I have to push her away when she comes to hug me. Yesterday I tried to get over it and play with her again so I hugged her and sat by her side with my head on her shoulder but a sudden urge came into my mind and it was so disgusting. I kept thinking I would touch her inappropriately or without her consent and that thoughts just took over my mind. This will sound so stupid but my thumb or fist was on her back and I had a thought that it was wrong to touch her so I pulled away but the thoughts came rushing back and I let my fist be placed in that same position again. I feel so disgusted I know it’s nothing and this sounds completely insane but I feel like I’ve done something disgusting and touched her in a inappropriate way and I havent been able to get over it because it feels like I let the thoughts win and they made me do it? What if it isn’t ocd? I’m feeling like I just can’t get through the night please tell me if real event ocd happens to you guys and how to deal with it? Is this ocd or am I just this disgusting person who did something to her? I keep replaying the moment in my head but all of it is fuzzy and I can rationalize it. I just feel disgusting.

This sounds like classic POCD! Your niece is obviously very important to you, and you’d never want to hurt her or traumatize her, so your OCD ruminates about exactly that. OCD targets those important things which is why they’re so impactful and often really difficult to shake. You should talk to a therapist specializing in OCD, or even start with attending one of the NOCD zoom talks for some ideas on how to help this anxiety! POCD is a very common theme so don’t feel alone or in any way bad for the thoughts OCD puts in your head, they do not define you

Hey I struggle with something very very similar and knowing I’m not alone is very helpful. I love my niece very much I would never ever do anything to harm anyone so when the thoughts arise they scare me so much that I avoid certain people. I promise you are not alone. I go through this too and I’m undiagnosed as well. I hope one day I will get help. Stay strong!

I agree ^! I don’t experience this specific theme- but like HelpSendPuppies said, the principles and the anxiety surrounding uncertainty and the unknown and the need to know urgently, sounds really familiar & just like OCD. if you have the resources to, I would definitely urge you to reach out for help with an OCD therapist! Whether it’s through here or not, it’s definitely something to look into even though I know it can be really scary and overwhelming. If not, there are a lot of videos on YouTube (Chrissy Hodges is great!!) and even accounts on Instagram that have helpful tips and ways you can try and do some self ERP and therapy work. And you always have us on this app to talk to! You are not alone, remember that. And your thoughts, no matter how scary they are, don’t define you. You’ll be okay I promise <3 sending strength

and if u want to join, there is an app called Discord where some of us on here chat on for support outside of this app as well. Here’s the link if u ever wanna join and have more support ❣️ https://discord.gg/KhFa6WQ6

Hi! I would have to agree with what Angela said. I’ve dealt with this, and still do, so you’re definitely not alone. I know how disgusting it can make you feel, but it’s not you, it’s just your stupid OCD. I’m sorry you have to deal with this crappy form of OCD, but it’s nice to know that someone else experiences the same things that I do! This is my first time writing on here too - don’t be afraid to reach out! Remember, it’s not you, it’s just your stupid OCD 🙂

hey there! it seems like because you’ve had such an abrupt onset, you suffer from ocd (though i am not a clinician and cant provide a proper diagnosis). most people dont wake up one random morning and realize that they’re pedophiles. because you’re also incredibly afraid of this possibly being a truth, and you’re constantly overthinking your actions, these definitely sound like ocd symptoms. i recommend starting erp on this app, and if it is not accessible to you, try and find someone who specializes in erp in your local area. ocd feeds off of fear and anxiety; you dont deserve to live another day like this!

Yes you’re right. I’ve been dealing with this specific ocd for 2 years now in fact that’s how it started for me. I’m definitely going to look into the resources available and hope for the best. Thank you so much!