Does anyone else go into depressions when their OCD gets bad? For me when my intrusive thoughts become too much, I lose all energy, joy, feel empty, and like everything is hopeless, and pointless, lose my appetite (or start eating everything in sight), and start sleeping 10+ hours per day (usually around 12-14hrs) so that I don’t have to be awake and deal with the way I feel, I start thinking about death a lot, more so than usual with my existential themes, and do things slowly, and have no motivation to do anything. Is this just me, or is it a common thing? This actually just started happening about a year ago, during the worst spike of my life (spike would get really, really bad for a couple weeks, then become manageable, and the next month go back to being unbearable- literally ever single second of the day was spent either ruminating, reassurance-seeking, or having a thought pop in, and this would happen alongside really bad depressions that would outlast the spikes themselves- this must have happened for 3 months at least), and I can feel the depression starting to happen again. A part of me wants to fight it but the other part just wants to give in and stop fighting everything altogether, let the depression happen, it’s going to happen anyway, why fight it, I don’t have the energy to do that. But I don’t think this is healthy. Does anyone else experience this? Or is this something I should bring up when I am again able to afford therapy (probably in a year or two)?

Just wanted to jump on here and express how I have felt lately. The past 5 to 6 months have been pretty excruciating. I conquered OCD 5 years ago and for some reason, it has slipped back and took over my life again. More so the depression that came along with it. Is there anyone else out there that has returned to rock bottom where they once fully climbed themselves out of?

Hoping to find solidarity - I’m coming out of a major OCD episode and my self-esteem definitely took a hit. I talked with my therapist about it, and she was really helpful, and it definitely seems like it could be depression, especially as it was a really rough winter where I live and it’s really only just starting to ease up. Plus it’s also late at night as I’m writing this and as they say, never trust how you feel about your life after 9PM lol - but I’m just wondering if anyone else is dealing with this. I can sit with the uncertainty and the anxiety, but my self-esteem definitely takes a hit with every intrusive thought, and it makes me feel like no one could ever love me, or like I’d be lying/faking being a good person. Just curious to hear others’ thoughts about this - if this is pretty much to be expected after a major OCD episode, if this is depression, etc. And like, for context, it was a really bad OCD episode - fears I thought I’d dealt with already came up, a lot of new fears, every day for months was really high anxiety where I was watching TV just to get through the day, and it felt like I was just holding on until my next therapy session. And all centered around one of the darker OCD themes, and I’m only just coming out of it. Like this is the second or third week where I’ve been able to sit with things that come up and let the anxiety pass, so I feel like this is probably to be expected, that now that it’s passing, there’s things I have to address, like the self-esteem and the areas of my life that got neglected while I was in survival mode. I just hope it gets better soon - I want to go back to how I was feeling last spring and summer, when OCD wasn’t bothering me as much, or it was a less-dark theme to deal with, and i felt so much better about myself 😣 Maybe it’s just a matter of getting out of the house and out of my own head, and doing things that align with my values, especially after months of feeling like a terrible person? Will this pass eventually and I’ll feel like myself again? It’s just hard to actually really think about myself and what kind of person I am - I get anxious thinking about if I’m a good person or a bad person, and I almost kind of try to avoid thinking much about myself at all. And it feels like I’m faking being a good person - like if people only knew half the thoughts and fears that came up, they wouldn’t like me anymore. And it feels like if I move on and forget about these fears that came up, I’m lying to people and to myself, but I just wish I could move on from all of this, and be who I used to be, when these thoughts and fears weren’t on my mind. If you read this far, thank you 🤗❤️ i hope things get easier for you soon and that many good things come your way. Stay safe and take care of yourself

So, I don't know if anyone's going to comment on this post, but I've been doing pretty badly lately. I suffered from a second relapse of OCD around nearly a year ago, back when I first experienced OCD, I had all the symptoms, researching, crying none-stop, suicidal, etc, but now that it's been almost four years of this same theme. It doesn't feel nearly as bad anymore? It's almost like it brings me happiness??? I see people saying with confidence that they'd never do their intrusive thoughts but I can't agree with them, I'm not confident I won't do them, a few years ago, I'd say I'd NEVER do them and I would rather kill myself before doing them but now I can't say it. I don't know what's going on anymore and what makes it worse I think is that my feelings are all over the place, a part of me wants to give up while the other part of me is still fighting and I'm crying right now as I write this but I don't even know if I'm scared. Sometimes I just let myself "enjoy" the intrusive thoughts because I'm so tired and everytime I look at a reddit post about someone saying that they felt guilty for enjoying an intrusive thought, I don't feel that same emotion, and I keep researching and researching. It doesn't feel like OCD anymore. I can't even say I'm scares for the right reasons, my brain keeps telling me that I'm only scared because I don't want others to look down on me and the truth is that I actually "enjoy" the thoughts and I simply don't want to be looked down upon on society. I don't know what to do, I want to go in the bathroom and cry until I disappear