- Username
- Mij
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Just a thought-but it sounds like that is a toxic relationship that maybe isn’t good for you?
I am incredibly sorry you’re going through this. No one should be treated like that!
Yeah i honestly think that isnt healthy for anyone but especially for people like us with anxiety disorders.
I agree with BigRuss
This may sound like a stupid question, but I have to ask it. Have you talked to him about how things need to change?
@ Mij I’m glad to hear you’re talking. I really hope he reciprocated and thar your relationship gets back on track ❤️
He has disorders of his own and for a long time we were building off each other (positively). Really growing together. About a month after I had our daughter, his energy shifted. He’s under stress and it is turning toxic. Should I wait and trust he’ll go back to the way he was before shit hit the fan?
Of course. We all know how horrible this is to live with ?❤️
Sometimes it's difficult for someone, especially someone so close to you like you fiancé to understand what ocd is about and the effect it has on our lives. I had the same problem, he didn't get so mad but he would get frustrated. After cooling off and having a good cry haha by myself he would come back and we would talk. I explained to him that in order for us to work out he has to accept my ocd as a part of me atleast for the time being, especially when things was super difficult. After about a year I went through a rough patch with my ocd to the point where I was borderline psycotic because of delusions... he was there for me all the way through. Although I later found out he did something I was against ? which helped him cope I guess. No excuse but it's water under the bridge. Today he understands more, it just took time. I'd say if you have a fiancé you can talk to do it! If he never gets to the point of understanding and keeps on getting aggresive like that it will not work. I believe we don't need extra stress in our lives, we need support. If you are under severe pressure because of ocd and him not understanding, youre mental health will suffer.
@Dalisay You’re probably the first success story I’ve heard as far as OCD and relationships go. I relate to the situation you described. In the name of anonymity, I’m curious to ask what your man did to ‘cope’ that you disapprove of? We don’t see eye to eye with coping habits either, which is a problem since we both have issues that demand coping devices..
I suggest leaving the relationship before he puts you and your baby in harm's way.
I know it's not that easy, but shelters are always there and the police exist if something goes out of hand. Take care
Mij well he watched porn, during a very difficult patch, but we had normal relationship issues too and a yeah he's a man. It's such a stupid reason for him to have watched porn to cope. To me porn is cheating, so we had a huge fight and I almost left him. I believe after this he will cope better, I hope he will cope better if my ocd gets out of hand again. That was the wrong coping mechanism. We do yoga and meditation together now, so I hope you and you're love get a way through this really. If he loves you he will work on it with you, be a team.
And thanks to everybody that replied- I’ve never opened up about OCD’s effect on my love life, I’m grateful for the immediate support..
@catlady we talk a lot. I encourage him to be very open because I try my best to be. I can’t guarantee it’s reciprocated though.
I have been with my SO going in 13 years now. We met in college and have been together ever since. We got married in 2021 and welcomed a baby girl in the world last year. I had a severe mental breakdown in 2013 that landed me in the hospital because I was contemplating suicide. That breakdown nearly destroyed our relationship. I had severe intrusive thoughts and felt the need to tell him all of them. I felt like if I didn’t tell him, I was lying. I destroyed his self esteem, telling him all of the mean thoughts I had about him. I would feel the need to tell him anytime I saw an attractive guy in public, I questioned our relationship and told him I wasn’t sure if I loved him anymore. It was bad and very dark. Fast forward to now and I feel like I’m letting him down in different ways. I don’t feel the need to tell him every thought I have now but since having my daughter my OCD and depression seem to be getting worse. I just feel like I’m no longer happy and my daughter should’ve had a mom that wasn’t damaged like me. Didn’t have the abusive childhood like me. Wasn’t broken like me. I feel so much guilt. It’s putting such a strain on our relationship and I feel like my husband deserves someone better. Someone whose happier.
Over a year together with him, and I’ve just recently learned that I have relationship OCD and perfectionist OCD. We talked about it, but I can sense it breaking his heart when I tell him that I cycle between wanting to marry him to breaking up over and over everyday. Constantly evaluating every word or action of his, what shirt he wears that day, how he brushed his hair, what he ate for lunch, who he talked to, what he spent money on, etc any of these things can trigger me into an episode of intrusive thoughts about him not being the one, he’s wrong for me, I’m trapped, I need to get out. It can also swing the other way to me feeling an impulse to go to the courthouse and get married right there. I know that I love him, I always desire to spend time with him; and I picture my future with him in it. He’s such a wonderful person. I don’t know how to stop this emotional rollercoaster my mind straps me into everyday. I just want to be in love and feel secure. How will I ever get married with all of these doubts attacking me everyday?? I can’t stop myself from constantly lecturing him on his flaws and what he needs to change for me to love him more consistently. I feel like a cold and evil person. Will I ever have clarity? Is he really as flawed as I think he is or am I sabotaging the best thing in my life?
I feel like OCD ruins so much. My boyfriend broke up with me because of it. It got to a point where I made him do compulsions (ex: open and close the door a certain amount of times). I have OCD in combination with PTSD so I would get triggers often. He got to a point where he got up and left me while I was at work and cut contact completely. I don’t know how to feel and I feel like a failure. It’s been two months and my OCD has been nonstop telling me I was an abuser or narcissistic and that’s why he left. Everyone tells me I’m a broken record… but they don’t know that this is torture for me, too. I wish I could start over with my ex, but I can’t, and that bothers my OCD, too. Lack of control. I also seem to have memory issues in that relationship, I can’t remember what happened or not, and I’m not sure if that’s part of my OCD.
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