- Username
- Jbgys543
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I had a breakdown last night too. I was literally on my knees crying and praying for ocd to do away. When ever I have an intrusive thought I label it as an intrusive thought then picture myself throwing it in a trash can and putting the lid on. I don’t know if it will help you but sometimes it works for me. Don’t be upset with yourself because you had the thought. It’s not something you can control. You’ve got this friend.
I will definitely try that, thank you! But I wish ocd would just leave me alone too
I was crying so bad, I was fighting the thoughts and my groinal responses were the strongest they’ve ever been, i legit went to sleep at 4 am that day and woke up at 7 (im 14 years old) this day has been ok since every thought i got i wouldnt say or react but it would sometimes get hard, i barely had groinal responses, and i kind of feel normal when looking at other dudes
@hocd_sufferer I’m sorry your going through that, I’ve had groinal responses to a lot of things that really hold me back and I know how frustrating it is to have them. They keep me up at night as well
The groinal responses most likely occurred because you were feeling anxious. That tends to happen. It has nothing to do with your intrusive thoughts. If you have not been able to start ERP, I would suggest that. It really makes a difference.
I’ve tried erp, but I don’t think I am doing it right. Last time I exposed myself to something really big and the entire experience was anxiety, groinal responses, and it felt like I like what I was exposed to and wanted to “act on it” but I haven’t done it since because I’m scared all of this will happen again
@Jbgys543 ERP is evidence based and if you’re doing it right, you should be able to see improvement. Were you doing ERP with a therapist here in the app?
@Adrian1oak Oh I haven’t been doing it with a therapist I’ve been doing it by myself. But I don’t know if I want a therapist because I’m scared to say everything and I would feel so embarrassed. But I also don’t know If I can afford it
It’s not super expensive, as other therapies tend to be and they do offer like payment plans in case you want to move forward with the therapies. As far as telling your therapist everything, there is absolutely nothing you can say that will shock them. The therapists have heard it all here and more perhaps. They understand the root of OCD and they know how it works. Doing ERP alone can be a bit difficult since the expertise of a professional is not present, however, with practice, you may be able to see improvement by yourself.
I will definitely consider it! But what about some self-directed erp?
@Jbgys543 I’ve never tried that. I mean while doing ERP, I’m directing it myself, but I’m following guidelines from my therapist. Is that the same ?
@Adrian1oak I think it might be the same, but I kind of want to try erp on my own . But around two years ago I was able to do self-directed erp for my contamination ocd, which I didn’t even know I had ocd at the time. But that was difficult, however I was able to recover from it. That being said I feel like it would be more difficult to do erp for a sexual obsession.
@Jbgys543 I do agree that doing ERP for a sexual obsession could be difficult, however, not impossible. I would do more research on ways to approach sexual obsessions to not reinforce it more. You want the behavior to decrease not increase.
@Adrian1oak Most definitely, thank you! :)
I just really dont want to become gay, this is really scaring me and i feel the only way to get out of this situation is to end it, i dont want to end it. But if dont have any choice what can i do? I had so many girl crushes and i still like them a lot, never not once have i ever had a crush on a boy, never aroused to anything like that, but groinal and constant gay images are just what makes me go insane
Like before this i already knew what i wanted. A wife, 4-6 kids, a nice house and a nice school and play area for my kids
@hocd_sufferer I know ocd is difficult. But ending it all now will only cause more harm to the people in your life. But you’ll get through this, I promise❤️. I know how it feels to think you won’t get through this because I am always like that. But there are people out there who have gone through hocd for years and years, and they got treatment and they live a very happy and fulfilling life! So if they can do it, you can do it. Trust me I know ocd is so difficult and is like our own brain torturing us, but there is help out there available. Ocd is a bitch and makes our lives miserable, but we gotta get through it one step at a time ❤️
There are times where my ocd just stops acting up, but then I remember like you are such a horrible person for having those thoughts and the cycle begins again, I start crying and sweating and over all just having an anxiety attack...I hate this
my ocd is got worse again and school starts in 2 days which is gonna make things difficult for me. i am just so fucking frustrated and tired. i tried to resist the urge to go on this app bc i feel like it’s reassurance but i just have to rant. i have been fighting for so long and i feel like this is never going to end. i’ve been rly trying. earlier this month i thought i was getting better but it just went to shit again. i feel so guilty and disgusted w my ocd obsession like why did it have to be those type of intrusive thoughts. like why me. ocd is literally the worst and sometimes i just feel hopeless.
I’ve struggled for POCD for years, since I was 17 and I’m 22 now, about to be 23. I had other obsessions, HOCD being the second worst, but now even that doesn’t bother me anymore. When I developed POCD it was a very traumatizing day. I was just figuring out that I had OCD and researching pure O OCD and saw POCD listed underneath the types of obsessions. I was so freaked out by the possibility of that that I developed it. I ended up spiraling into a panic attack and watched videos on YouTube that had children in them in order to try and prove that I didn’t have POCD. But of course that just made it worse. I went to therapy and did ERT which made it a lot better, but even back then I was still uncomfortable talking about my groinal responses and false attraction responses so I don’t think I fully treated it. I was able to be fine for a long time, years, of me being able to be okay with dealing with POCD even when It popped up. It mainly only bothered me when I saw children in media for some reason but not in real life. Now it’s just both Oh and I’ve been a summer camp counselor since I was 15, so I’ve worked with kids every summer. I think POCD is especially difficult for me because I’ve always enjoyed working with kids and it deeply scared me.😭 It wasn’t until last summer that I started to notice it being more difficult to deal with again. Then I went through a rough patch in my life and since then it’s been way worse on and off again. I will go through the motions of feeling like “okay I’m just gonna think maybe, maybe not. I don’t care, I know myself so I’ll be fine. I’m a great person. I can handle this.” To something actually triggering me and me feeling this intense and gripping feeling of anxiety, like a sinking pit in my stomach and then it’s so hard to turn away from. I’ve tried doing ERT on my own but as soon as I stop I always feel like I move backwards. I just don’t know if I can ever move past this like I have with my other obsessions…it is so haunting and has traumatized me more than once. I’m working on seeing an OCD therapist, most likely through the NOCD app. So I am planning to do that as soon as I can, I just feel so frustrated right now…I’ve kept being triggered the past 2 weeks and I just want it to leave me alone. I don’t want to think about these things. I just want to focus on living my life. It’s so annoying and awful, and it makes me feel sick and so uncomfortable. It’s like telling someone to stop but they won’t; my brain just won’t stop even though I want it to. And my intrusive thoughts are paired with images, so it’s also like having something awful shoved in my face that I can’t turn away from because it’s in my mind. I just really felt the need to vent some of my feelings out…I’ve been going through a rough time again, had a lot of stress over college exams & projects, had a misunderstanding with my partner, got a random tooth pain, and also got screwed over on said project by my team members giving me awful scores for no reason. So yeah it’s just been rough 😔I will be going to the dentist soon. Ugh just so many bad things are happening and OCD just makes it feel worse. Sometimes I think what if the universe is punishing me for having POCD? Then I try to remember to be kind to myself instead. If you’re dealing with this you’re not alone ❤️
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