Ahhh hi everyone I’m literally writing this in the middle of a store, trying not to panic or spiral. I’m spending the day with a friend of mine, we’re not too close and this is the first time we’ve really hung out for a long period of time We were joking around and I told her a little joking antidote about my partner Then she said “I don’t know...The more I hear about this guy, the more I wonder about him”. She said it in kind of a joking voice but I’m starting to absolutely spiral and panic. Even if she was joking, I feel like maybe it’s rooted in truth? I’m trying SO hard not to justify or over explain or dig into it but that’s why I’m hiding and messaging all of you. What can I do?! Please help. I don’t want this to ruin my day but I can’t stand the idea that someone who hasn’t even met him, thinks poorly of him and our relationship. Thanks everyone

I have a huge problem, and I don’t know how to stop overthinking it. For context, my boyfriend is not the type to jump to conclusions like “Oh, that girl looked at me, she must like me.” He’s always realistic and doesn’t assume things without reason. Lately, I’ve lost most of my friends, and now the only person I have besides my boyfriend is my best friend of five years. We’ve been through everything together—friendship breakups, different social circles—and in the end, it’s always been the two of us. Right now, it’s just me, her, and my boyfriend in our little friend group, and we all get along well. We even have plans to go to a festival together this summer. But this past Friday, my boyfriend told me something that completely threw me off. He said that he doesn’t want to make assumptions, but it seems like my best friend might be looking at him in a certain way. He wasn’t saying it’s 100% true, just that he noticed something. The problem is, I already had this intrusive thought before—“What if she likes him?”—and now that he mentioned it, it’s making me spiral even more. I feel like I’m acting weird around her now, and I hate it. I feel like I’m betraying her in my own mind by even considering this idea, because I know she loves me and would never do something like that. It’s completely absurd, yet I can’t stop thinking about it. To make things even more complicated, my 18th birthday is coming up in two months. My plan was to go on a small trip with both my boyfriend and my best friend, but when I mentioned it to my dad, he shut it down immediately and said, “You don’t have to take her everywhere.” And now, I feel stuck. I don’t know how to tell her that I might just want to go with my boyfriend without making her feel left out or hurting her feelings. But at the same time, this is a huge milestone in my life, and of course, I want my best friend there. I hate that these intrusive thoughts are making me question everything—“What if she likes him? What if she ends up liking him?” My mom recently told me a story about a woman whose best friend stole her husband, and now my brain won’t let it go. I’m dreading the idea of us all being in the same hotel room this summer for the festival. It’s like my mind is preparing for something bad to happen, even though nothing has actually happened. I don’t want to think this way. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable around her. How do I stop these thoughts from ruining everything?

in an ROCD spiral these past few days. i have a very sweet boyfriend who i love very much but i’m so scared my OCD is gonna drive him away. i get really freaked out when he doesn’t say certain things back every time like “i love you” or “goodnight” etc and also as of late he makes jokes about like fictional women being hot and we’ve had convos about like are we not allowed to also appreciate someone else’s attractiveness without reading into it (we’ve both expressed we are monogamous—i’m also demisexual so wondering if my brain just doesn’t think the same way his does) or like he made a joke about how it would be hot to see me kissing another girl (i’m bi) and i think yeah in a perfect world where i don’t have OCD i get the logic behind not reading into these things but every time he makes these jokes or we have these convos it sends my OCD into a major spiral like. if he really loved me and only me why would he even say these things? he is just very blunt and logical and straightforward and sometimes he’s really good at gently challenging my OCD and for him he doesn’t think these things seriously like ik he would never ever cheat on me (we have had discussions about our thoughts on cheating before). but like comments that he makes like this i am sure have no meaning to him other than just jokes or pointing stuff out but my OCD spirals every time he makes them. i’m really scared of ruining this relationship because i feel like i can’t just be the chill girlfriend who doesn’t read into this stuff. please help i’m spiraling and can’t even focus on work ): and it sucks because he really otherwise shows me how much he loves me in many ways and it’s just this thing that i can’t figure out and i keep feeling like having these convos with him will drive him away. or like telling him i don’t want him to make those jokes around me will make him feel like he is walking on eggshells around me and can’t be himself and that will eventually end the relationship which i don’t want. i just want my brain to stop panicking and reading into every single thing but my brain won’t understand what is normal or okay until someone tells me it is. i’m gonna go back to therapy soon but in the interim just wanted to come here. thanks in advance for any words or insight anyone can offer ❤️

Every 30 minutes I spiral about something different. It’s exhausting. Right now I’m freaking out because I was finally feeling a little calmer, got on TikTok, and saw a post saying that comforting a guy or giving advice to a guy is considered cheating. Or “microcheating.” And so many people in the comments were agreeing. My OCD already gives me so much crap about having guy friends and comforting them during hard moments. Another post said that even giving advice when a guy texts you his problems is wrong, and like, I give advice so often. That one really struck me, because how on earth is that unacceptable? There was also a part about how hanging out with a guy is cheating too. I don’t really agree with that one either, but I guess I can understand that perspective a little more, especially if your partner feels uncomfortable with it. Still, it just added more fuel to the fire. I already doubt myself constantly, and then I read a comment that said, “*If you do any of that, all I’m hearing is ‘I’m a microcheater and proud.’*” I just started crying. I haven’t been able to sit with the uncertainty of whether I’ve been unfaithful or disrespectful to my boyfriend for months. Especially since my guy friend has given me comfort and advice too. Everything I do feels like cheating. ***Everything***. And seeing that just made it all feel so much worse.