Ahhh hi everyone I’m literally writing this in the middle of a store, trying not to panic or spiral. I’m spending the day with a friend of mine, we’re not too close and this is the first time we’ve really hung out for a long period of time We were joking around and I told her a little joking antidote about my partner Then she said “I don’t know...The more I hear about this guy, the more I wonder about him”. She said it in kind of a joking voice but I’m starting to absolutely spiral and panic. Even if she was joking, I feel like maybe it’s rooted in truth? I’m trying SO hard not to justify or over explain or dig into it but that’s why I’m hiding and messaging all of you. What can I do?! Please help. I don’t want this to ruin my day but I can’t stand the idea that someone who hasn’t even met him, thinks poorly of him and our relationship. Thanks everyone

The best thing for you would be that maybe someone does think of him poorly, and maybe someone doesn't, we all need to do ERP even in real life when things like this happen :(

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through that, sounds tough. I know I’m probably gonna sound like a broken record, but that sounds like an excellent opportunity to practice ERP. If it’s too much it’s ok to maybe go to the bathroom or find some way to get some space and try to find your composure, but please don’t reassure yourself. The anxiety isn’t gonna go anywhere anytime soon since it takes consistent practice. But if you commit I promise it works.

Thanks everyone! Yes, I realize it was definitely a good practise for ERP My biggest coping mechanism when I think someone doesn’t like him, is to over share or over explain the positives of him and our relationship- but that usually backfires because then it makes the situation look worse and I look like I’m overcompensating. She made a few little judgey comments throughout the day (ex “so....you’ve been together for almost 4 years but you don’t live together yet? what’s going on there?” Finally, I just firmly said everything was great and I wouldn’t be with him for so long if he wasn’t a good guy. She backed off and didn’t mention it again after. Then later she actually ended up meeting him when she dropped me off and was quite nice. So, that was that. But anyway, I really appreciate the responses and your guys’ support. I’m not as anxious about it anymore. I know him and I have kind of a strange relationship to everyone looking in but we’ve been through SO much together and it works for us. If we’re both happy, that’s all that matters!

The other things I could tell you would be reassuring