Friends here with ROCD- I haven’t ever been in a serious relationship, the last time I “dated” was 8 years ago, and I don’t really think I know what it actually looks like to like someone. I’ve recognized a certain cycle that’s happened probably 20 times in my life but didn’t realize how unhealthy it was until this year. This is the cycle: I find a guy somewhat attractive, he either says something or does something small (normal, not out of the ordinary?), my brain takes this little thing(s) and obsesses over it & turns it into this huge deal where I keep thinking about him, stalking his social media, making me compulsive (googling things, asking friends for advice, etc), and making me believe I really like this guy. This has happened twice in the last 3 months. Does this happen to anyone else?! How do you break the cycle, etc? When I’m in the obsession phase, it literally lasts for a week and sometimes makes me physically sick from the stress. Help!

I experience this!! Where my mind cannot just chill and experience things as they happen, but instead looks into what things mean and whether I’m being “attractive enough” or comparing myself to other girls.. to the point where I just avoid those situations because it brings me so much anxiety. And I totally get what you mean about not knowing what it’s like to like someone.. because our OCD takes something that should be enjoyable and makes it nerve-racking.

I’m 24, never been in a relationship and I do this. I’ll get an idea about someone and compulsively check his social media to confirm it (good or bad). Like if I‘m on the fence I’ll check repeatedly to see if he’s attractive, or I’m really into him I’ll worry that he has something that’s a dealbreaker and look for clues on his socials.

@Kately I thought I was the only one who felt like this and lived this way. Omg. Thank you for responding, at least I know I’m not alone! Have you gotten any solid advice on this?

For example!! I became really obsessed w/ getting a boyfriend in college, but I was scared to really put myself out there so I focused on guys I knew who seemed like a possibility. I decided if it was gonna happen it had to happen w/ this one guy from my class and I started reading into everything he did + building it up in my head. I was also asking my friends + Google for lots of advice during this time! Like “Is it weird if he...” “Is it bad if he...” “Does he like me if...” etc!

@csca914 you are definitely not alone on this! There’s a reason for the stereotype about facebook stalking ppl you’re dating ?The best advice I’ve gotten on this is actually from watching my friends who have less anxiety around dating. I see that they are a little more “selfish” about it in that they go by their feelings and don’t worry too much if they’re doing it perfectly.

I do this as well. & then after that newness wears off it reverses

Also, what does it really look like to like someone? Any advice?

@m.a.d yes yes yes. I’m always comparing myself. When said attractive/intriguing guys add me on social media, I spend hours going through asking myself if I look “unique enough”, “attractive enough”, etc. I think I also have this fear that I’m never going to get married because every other girl out there is more interesting than me ??‍♀️