I literally feel like i never liked my boyfriend at all and im faking it and im really in denial. i can’t stop crying idk what to do anymore

Probably 😂

Sending strength and love back. It’s been so difficult for me because I’ve never been in a relationship, I’ve never had a boyfriend although I’ve always wanted one. And it’s just haunting me, like, of course you never could settle for a guy, of course you could never date, all along it’s because you were gay...and it makes me so upset like I’ve had crushes on guys they just never liked me back but my brain is pretending those never happened and i seriously feel like my mind is mush.

@NOCD4me@123 I completely understand how you feel, I feel so detached from my past “straightness” and it feels like I’ve just been another orientation all along. I don’t feel like myself anymore. But do remember there’s millions and millions of reasons for why certain things are the way they are. Maybe you are gay... or maybe you just haven’t met someone yet...maybe you have other fears and worries that have nothing to do with your orientation. I know it isn’t much help but I promise stepping into that unknown is a huge step forward. Right now I’ve finally dipped my toes in the water and I feel so..lost. But I’m not going crazy ruminating everyday(too much), and I feel just a little bit better. You can and you will get past this ❤️

@PinkLotus Yes, I haven’t felt truly like myself in a long time...and I definitely have plenty of fears and worries. It doesn’t help that my self esteem has taken quite a huge blow. Thank you for the kind words at least. I want to try and step into the unknown it’s just...nauseating and awful.

@NOCD4me@123 Yup, but hopefully with time we will slowly feel like ourselves or at least ease into whatever life throws up. I completely understand, my self esteem is probably suffering right now as well though I’m not sure how yet. It’s definitely awful, but it’s the first step in breaking the cycle

@PinkLotus I feel you both. Sending love and strength. Every time I get over one thing something else comes in it’s place. I can’t stop thinking innore sexualg attracted to women and hate it. I hate living inside my head I wish I could ger the old me back. I’ve been stuck for two years and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Trying to just live my life but I feel so depressed. I feel like I’m the exception 100% mine is real and everyone else’s isn’t.

we’ll get through this together

@nikkii I hope so. I don’t know how much more I can handle. I’m starting to fall apart at work. I feel so in denial.

Thanks for the insight 😊