- Username
- nikkii
- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Username
- nikkiinikkii
- Date posted
- 3y ago
are we all at the thinking we’re in denial stage
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Probably 😂
- Username
- PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I feel the same, it’s like I have this new “desire” for women even though I don’t want one. I just want to get back to my boyfriend without so many doubts. Sending you both strength and love 💗
- Username
- NOCD4me@123NOCD4me@123
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Sending strength and love back. It’s been so difficult for me because I’ve never been in a relationship, I’ve never had a boyfriend although I’ve always wanted one. And it’s just haunting me, like, of course you never could settle for a guy, of course you could never date, all along it’s because you were gay...and it makes me so upset like I’ve had crushes on guys they just never liked me back but my brain is pretending those never happened and i seriously feel like my mind is mush.
- Username
- PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@NOCD4me@123 I completely understand how you feel, I feel so detached from my past “straightness” and it feels like I’ve just been another orientation all along. I don’t feel like myself anymore. But do remember there’s millions and millions of reasons for why certain things are the way they are. Maybe you are gay... or maybe you just haven’t met someone yet...maybe you have other fears and worries that have nothing to do with your orientation. I know it isn’t much help but I promise stepping into that unknown is a huge step forward. Right now I’ve finally dipped my toes in the water and I feel so..lost. But I’m not going crazy ruminating everyday(too much), and I feel just a little bit better. You can and you will get past this ❤️
- Username
- NOCD4me@123NOCD4me@123
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@PinkLotus Yes, I haven’t felt truly like myself in a long time...and I definitely have plenty of fears and worries. It doesn’t help that my self esteem has taken quite a huge blow. Thank you for the kind words at least. I want to try and step into the unknown it’s just...nauseating and awful.
- Username
- PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@NOCD4me@123 Yup, but hopefully with time we will slowly feel like ourselves or at least ease into whatever life throws up. I completely understand, my self esteem is probably suffering right now as well though I’m not sure how yet. It’s definitely awful, but it’s the first step in breaking the cycle
- Username
- lkkkk1234lkkkk1234
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@PinkLotus I feel you both. Sending love and strength. Every time I get over one thing something else comes in it’s place. I can’t stop thinking innore sexualg attracted to women and hate it. I hate living inside my head I wish I could ger the old me back. I’ve been stuck for two years and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Trying to just live my life but I feel so depressed. I feel like I’m the exception 100% mine is real and everyone else’s isn’t.
- Username
- NOCD4me@123NOCD4me@123
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hey it’s me again. I cried all last night because I think I’m just in denial. I feel really awful too. Idk what to do anymore either. So, you’re not alone.
- Username
- nikkiinikkii
- Date posted
- 3y ago
we’ll get through this together
- Username
- NOCD4me@123NOCD4me@123
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@nikkii I hope so. I don’t know how much more I can handle. I’m starting to fall apart at work. I feel so in denial.
- Username
- bluebellbluebell
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I don’t want to reassure, because that doesn’t help at all, but isn’t it quite coincidental that every single person who has had this theme, has thought at some point ‘What if I’m in denial’, are you going to say that all of those people were in denial? If you were to say that, then you’d have to say that all of the POCD sufferers are in denial, and all of the harm OCD sufferers were in denial, and I’m sure you feel a resistance to that. So before you pull that card on yourself, remember that you must judge yourself with the same logic that you judge other propel with, I.e. other OCD sufferers!
- Username
- NOCD4me@123NOCD4me@123
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thanks for the insight 😊
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I feel like I’m in denial because I don’t know if I rlly don’t like my gf or if it’s just ROCD. Me and her started our break today and I regret it but my grandma says that maybe you guys should just be friends. I used to love my gf so much and got excited everytime I saw her and got sad when she left and now that doesn’t happen anymore. I really care about her and I wanan make her work but I don’t know if it’s me actually not liking her or the thoughts talking
Related posts
- Username
- 7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I hate hearing love is a choice… when I constantly feel nothing for him… it hurts… when I am loving him it’s like I am faking it and leading him on… I avoid sex completely bc of it… I want to love him like before. I want to cuddle and hold him tightly… it’s everyday now… it’s like if I talk to him about this it’s like I am gonna break up with him… I just want to love him peacefully again. I’ve had mild ROCD for years and NEVER did it feel like this… It’s like I gave into and just want to give up but I know I don’t want to. I know if I leave I will wanna be with him again. It’s like my brain has flatlined when it comes to him…
- Username
- papa.appa
- Date posted
- 1y ago
i feel like such a bad boyfriend
i second guess my feeling for him basically 22 hours of the day and my intrusive thoughts are so aggressive too, like “you dont love him, you think hes ugly, you think he smells bad” stuff like that and they arent even “what if” thoughts anymore and i feel so guilty. I am basically at the point where I’ve convinced myself that im forcing myself to be in this relationship because i dont want to uproot my life and that i hate him, but every time i think about breaking up i start crying and i hate the idea and these thoughts give me SO much anxiety. To the point where i feel like i cant even eat sometimes, and i dont want to feel like this everyday because i want to be sure that i love my partner, and the small moments that im not spiraling, i feel so sure and so clear that i want to spend the rest of my life with him and i hate it because why is it that one moment i can be so sure that i love him and the one moment i feel like im lying to myself and i need to ruminate on that feeling. im so tired of myself.
- Username
- Anonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 43w ago
I feel like we have to break up. Im heartbroken
I didn’t have any female desires before this. I was so happy with my bf and only wanted him. Now it truly feels like I’ve been lesbian all along though even though I don’t really feel like I’d be truly happy with a woman. I was just with my bf right now and I felt nothing. I tried to picture a life with him in the moment and I felt nothing, I look at him and feel nothing. but after that and watching him leave, I just started sobbing. My heart feels like it’s in my throat, my eyes won’t stop burning, I cant even breath right. Watching him leave felt like a goodbye. It really feels like I have to break up w him and tell him what’s going on and I don’t know what to do. I know I love him so much and before all this I had no doubts that he was my best friend and my partner and everything. The one person who truly felt like home and now even though I’m still not even sure if this is ocd or not, or if I’m gay or not I feel like I have to break up with him. I feel like I have to tell him. I feel so guilty that he’s with me and I’m feeling like this he deserves so much better.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond