- Username
- 🤎🤎
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Its a common OCD symptom. Analysing past interactions is a form of compulsion. Think about it for a second. Before your OCD phase you never thought "WHAT IF". You never considered these interactions with the famous girls to be becaude of attraction. OCD caused you to feel this way. It has happened to me too. Before my OCD phase i never ever thought anything like that but once the intrusive thoughts kicked in I started to wonder if i actually liked any of my best friends sexually which wasn't the case. Stay strong and not give up. OCD can play with your brain a lot. It is gery convincing. All you can do is never try to fight or analyze yhe thoughts just learn how to live with them. That way they will become weaker.
I feel like we share a lot of things with HOCD, I also ruminate about past decisions I’ve made with wanting to be popular and putting those girls on a pedastole. Later I wonder if that was because I wanted to be with them and I wanted the guys to give me attention but nothing more. I was not accepted in the popular group tho but I stayed, and now I think it might have been because I liked them, but at the same time those thoughts never occurred in that time?
I have something so similar to you guys!!!! When I was younger I always looked up to a lot of older girls that i considered cool and kind of wanted to be like them. I guess i kind of idiolised them but my OCD latched onto this topic SO bad even though I know I only wanted to be like them because in my eyes they were cool you know?.
@ewaedb Yes! But if we think about it objectively, it never was about being in love with any of them? But if it was crushes of mine then i don’t believe in love because I don’t want love to feel like that.
@🥰 the thing is with me I have made people think I’m someone I’ve not and this all started when I was 11 so to the people I have proved I’m something I’m not, they’re all girls btw, I’m always trying to say stuff so they’d overhear to see that I’m not the person I think I am and then my brain is like oh your crushing on them then
@🤎🤎 I feel you, i was extremely insecure when i was younger (i still want approval tho from girls and i am 19)
@🥰 yes aww haha I want approval from girls too idk why I feel like it’s cos girls can be bitchy and want to drag you down and when they compliment you it means something idk. but then my brain is telling me it’s bc I’m attracted to them🙄
@🤎🤎 I have the exact same thing!!!! I also think for me it's because girls can be super judgemental, so when I'm liked I feel like it means something.
@ewaedb yes same! Now I feel like I’m not alone aha!
a few months ago i liked this boy and I snapped him a lot and during that time I don’t think I had any intrusive thoughts or anything but as soon as I stopped talking to him all the intrusive thoughts and compulsions came back but my brain is telling me I never liked him
I seriously have never thought about girls until now. It just never crossed my mind. I never liked or had feelings for a girl. And now that I’m constantly questioning everything and picturing everything. It just feels like I like it. It scares me, would I be happy with a girl ?? I don’t want to be with a girl but I feels like I do want this. It’s so confusing. I can’t tell whether this is actually ocd or I’m genuinely attracted to the same sex. I hate this so much !!! It’s like I just completely lost myself and questioned it so much I’ve just become lesbian but some things just don’t make sense. Why would I catch feelings for other boys? Never girls. I don’t know anymore. I’m happy with my boyfriend. Without these thoughts I’d be so good and so much more happy. Now I just don’t fucking know and this hurts so damn bad that I can’t just rest not one day. This is so damn stressful and hurtful to question your identity every single day. Sometimes I seriously just feel like I’m lesbian but I can’t seem to settle on that because I just can’t be. I want to just die. I hate what my mind is doing to me. I hate I have to go through these thoughts alone. I hate everything. I just want to crawl in a hole and never see anyone. I just want to hug my boyfriend and have my thoughts erased. I’ve thought too much and too deep I can’t stop. I’m crying from sadness because I don’t know what’s real anymore and I never in a million years thought this is something I’d have to deal with.
Okay so I have been struggling with HOCD for so fucking long. I never felt like I had crushes on boys growing up but I wasn’t attracted to girls either (this was through 5th grade). Until 6th grade hit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had the thought walking up the stairs and it was “You’re lesbian.” And ever since that thought was there and I fought it I have been dealing with all types of OCD ever since (been going on for 7 years). And only this year I found it was OCD. But it’s hard because I don’t know if I’m actually gay or I convinced myself I’m gay because I gave up and gave in. Now whenever I see I pretty girl I feel tingling. And I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a lesbian so I look up pretty pictures of girls with their boobs out and I loved it. And I wanna make out with a girl so intensely. But then at the same I don’t wanna be in a relationship with a girl and I wanna marry a guy and I just desperately wanted to be like by a guy. But I get so horny whenever girls are in bikinis and stuff. But I have OCD and I’m so confused.
Please help me figure this out I remember when I was in 11th grade I had my first crush on a girl. I would say she was my first crush. because I would always love to go to school just to see her face lol . I always was so nervous on the bus ride to school. because I knew she rode the bus just like me . I would want to go to school just to see her . Long story short I never got the chance to tell her how I felt about her because my social anxiety. I start watching Porn a lot in that's when I got this Sexual Orientation Ocd . I don't really know what I want right know .when I did have that crush on the girl I just was attracted to women and girls . Now that I've got this SOCD stuff I fine man attractive but I don't wanna do anything sexual with them I just find them. P.S I'm a girl
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