- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Its a common OCD symptom. Analysing past interactions is a form of compulsion. Think about it for a second. Before your OCD phase you never thought "WHAT IF". You never considered these interactions with the famous girls to be becaude of attraction. OCD caused you to feel this way. It has happened to me too. Before my OCD phase i never ever thought anything like that but once the intrusive thoughts kicked in I started to wonder if i actually liked any of my best friends sexually which wasn't the case. Stay strong and not give up. OCD can play with your brain a lot. It is gery convincing. All you can do is never try to fight or analyze yhe thoughts just learn how to live with them. That way they will become weaker.
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel like we share a lot of things with HOCD, I also ruminate about past decisions I’ve made with wanting to be popular and putting those girls on a pedastole. Later I wonder if that was because I wanted to be with them and I wanted the guys to give me attention but nothing more. I was not accepted in the popular group tho but I stayed, and now I think it might have been because I liked them, but at the same time those thoughts never occurred in that time?
- Date posted
- 4y
I have something so similar to you guys!!!! When I was younger I always looked up to a lot of older girls that i considered cool and kind of wanted to be like them. I guess i kind of idiolised them but my OCD latched onto this topic SO bad even though I know I only wanted to be like them because in my eyes they were cool you know?.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ewaedb Yes! But if we think about it objectively, it never was about being in love with any of them? But if it was crushes of mine then i don’t believe in love because I don’t want love to feel like that.
- Date posted
- 4y
@🥰 the thing is with me I have made people think I’m someone I’ve not and this all started when I was 11 so to the people I have proved I’m something I’m not, they’re all girls btw, I’m always trying to say stuff so they’d overhear to see that I’m not the person I think I am and then my brain is like oh your crushing on them then
- Date posted
- 4y
@🤎🤎 I feel you, i was extremely insecure when i was younger (i still want approval tho from girls and i am 19)
- Date posted
- 4y
@🥰 yes aww haha I want approval from girls too idk why I feel like it’s cos girls can be bitchy and want to drag you down and when they compliment you it means something idk. but then my brain is telling me it’s bc I’m attracted to them🙄
- Date posted
- 4y
@🤎🤎 I have the exact same thing!!!! I also think for me it's because girls can be super judgemental, so when I'm liked I feel like it means something.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ewaedb yes same! Now I feel like I’m not alone aha!
- Date posted
- 4y
a few months ago i liked this boy and I snapped him a lot and during that time I don’t think I had any intrusive thoughts or anything but as soon as I stopped talking to him all the intrusive thoughts and compulsions came back but my brain is telling me I never liked him
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭
- Perfectionism OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments
- Date posted
- 14w
I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!
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