not THAT OCD related, but i’m so tired of looking in the mirror and picking apart the things that i feel are wrong with myself. after my first session with my therapist, she said i also have body dysmorphic disorder, which is commonly seen in people who have OCD. i’m not a person who cries easily, but this problem i have within myself almost brings me to tears often and eats at me every single day. i cant enjoy simple things without being fixated on how i look/my appearance while doing them. if i’m swimming in the pool, i’m thinking about how my face looks with my hair wet and get uncomfortable when i feel like someone is looking at me for too long. i feel uncomfortable in rooms with certain lighting. i adjust the angle or position my body is at while interacting with other people just because i’m concerned with how they’re seeing me. just a rant, feeling really defeated.

I definitely struggle with this issue too. With my weight especially. I gained some recently and I've been using baby weight as an excuse but it's been a year now.. or little things I hate about my face. Like my teeth. I fixate on small things. And I'm constantly looking for wrinkles. But I feel so much of this unhealthy obsession has happened because the beauty standards of society which are impossible and unrealistic for many people.. remember who we are on the inside is way more important, even though society places so much emphasis on appearance.

I struggle with body dysmorphic disorder too and am currently going through a really bad relapse so I completely feel you. I fixate on my complexion - and even though I know intellectually that my skin is not that bad - when I look in the mirror I hate what I see. I spend hours just looking and crying and hyperventilating because I am sure that people think I look grotesque. It’s so scary when you can’t get those thoughts to stop. It’s so scary when you feel like everyone is looking at you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It does and it can get better. I haven’t had these thoughts in over a decade and now I am starting from scratch and I’m still not sure what triggered it, but I know that I got through it before and I will get through it again. You will too. Sending you strength!

thanks to both of you for sharing, truly made me feel lifted and comforted. <333 sending love for all your struggles as well