[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 4y
bluebellbluebell
- Date posted
- 4y
Please, please listen to this - I can imagine how isolated you feel. OCD singles out humiliating moments in our lives and puts them on a pedestal and makes them so much more big and powerful than they would EVER need to be. I see that you glaze over the fact that you were a child, but that’s really, really important context. Children do all sorts of embarrassing things that most of us just block out or pretend never happened. I baby sit a lot of children, and you would be surprised at the sorts of things I see regularly, so please don’t think that this is a perverse or abhorrent thing because it’s just childhood behaviour. Children navigate the world and understand themselves in ways that, when you grow up, you look back and think, ‘oh my god, what was I thinking?’. You were a child. I promise you, this is normal behaviour as bizarre as it may seem looking back now you’re older. You don’t need to let this define you, dear god! There’s so much more to your history than that moment. If we all defined ourselves by the actions of our childhood self, we’d all be mortified and ashamed. Just look forward and try and focus on what’s most important, whether that’s school work, friends, family! It doesn’t matter whether intrusive thoughts interrupt, you can live your life with these intrusive thoughts. Try some ERP, and avoid compulsions at all cost - whether that’s trying to find things from your childhood that make you ‘normal’, or coming on here! I’m sending my love, I hope you can grow from this❤️
bluebellbluebell
- Date posted
- 4y
@annonymous I’m so glad I could help, even if it was just a bit. I understand, that’s still curiousity I promise you. Trust me, I’ve seen weirder! I understand this was probably reassurance, but it’s important you knew this because I’m sure it was driving you up the wall. Just remember that from now on, letting this memory exist without the need to interfere with it is what’s gonna be most valuable for you! You’re gonna be okay, give yourself time ❤️
miiiimiiii
- Date posted
- 4y
@annonymous Yes, this is normal. That's why reassurance doesn't work. Try out what i suggested earlier air telling yourself "yup I'm actually a bad person and i knew what i was doing etc" best of luck. Erp really helps
ocdyousuck ocdyousuck
- Date posted
- 4y
you need to just accept the past and move on as hard as it is, there’s no point in living in the past as it’s stopping you from living right now. You need to accept what you done and move on from it, everyone has done stuff they regret from when they were younger.
ocdyousuck ocdyousuck
- Date posted
- 4y
@annonymous I know it’s hard but no one is going to figure out anything unless you were to tell them. You should just forget it and try not think too deeply about it as you said you were young! It would be different if you still felt that way or done it, and if that was the case I’d suggest talking to a therapist but like you said you were a child! You’re not a shitty person
miiiimiiii
- Date posted
- 4y
Also, i don't think you're bad, we all do stuff as kids that we look back on and are horrified about.
miiiimiiii
- Date posted
- 4y
You could also try when these thoughts/ memories pop up telling yourself "yup, I'm a terrible person, I'm the worst and should be canceled" and then just trying to let go and not try to ruminate. When it comes back just say it again. That way you're not trying to figure out if you're bad, etc you're letting your brain know that yup you're done with this thought. It's weird but with ocd if you do the opposite of what you think you should do, that's what helps.
pika14pika14
- Date posted
- 4y
We’ve all done stupid, horrible things as children. There is freedom in the Lord. Read Romans in the Bible
Related posts
Northern_Dow...
- Date posted
- 19w
Real Event OCD is a different breed (18+)
Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.
Tireddd
- Date posted
- 19w
I feel very bad about my history with animals
TW warning: ZOCD, real events, and animal neglect. I feel like if I'm nice to animals or think about having a pet in the future I'm being a hypocrite, one of the things i saw at 10-12 years old because of my porn addiction and exposure were horrible videos involving animals, and i had a kitten at 9 years old, i didn't know the responsibility of having a pet, yet i loved my cat very much and when we couldn't take it to the vet because we didn't have money, it came back with wounds, bleeding, i cried a lot and i regretted so much having been so inconsiderate and dumb to ask for a cat when we didn't have money or the appropiate place to keep it safe. My parents refused to take him to the vet or a shelter, and one day it ran away from home and never came back. I feel like i'll never be able to interact normally or have a pet without being a hypocrite. I'm horrible
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 15w
Tw: beastility, sexual assault
I'm worried that I sexual assulted or r*ped my dog when I was 17 and I'm 18 now. This memory, has came up multiple and changes rapidly, it says that I was also saying very disturbing things to the dog, calling her good and weird disgusting things like that. I don't know if I can live with myself if this is true.
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