- Username
- Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Ughh I can’t keep reassuring you but honestly (no offense) your blind, obviously the thoughts and feelings keep giving you anxiety and telling you that you are in denial and that screams proof that you have hocd, and also every bodies hocd or even ocd is different, somebody could have more of a sexual hocd, som could have more of a romantic hocd, some could have both, all I’m saying is that this isn’t proof of anything at all, now plz try and not ruminate, it only worsens ocd
i am trying i really am. i was doing way better when i had finals and was preoccupied with that. now i am even questioning whether or not i like men. there's not that much anxiety it just bothers me i don't know anymore. i am so sorry for bothering you it just feels worse but not that bad at the same time(?)which makes me doubt what this is. i really am trying not to ruminate and to keep myself busy. sorry again, and tthnk you immensely for everything
@Nour04 You very welcome, and yoalso ur not a bother, I’m not annoyed whatsoever with you, I just hate seeing people slowly dig their own grave, which is what your doing when you ruminate yknow, I’m doing good but earlier I felt almost in love with my buddy, like idk I felt if he asked me out I would say yes, but yet again it felt kinda like anxiety so I guess I can’t know if it’s real lol, but besides ocd how are you doing?
@dylen pretty chill actually. i have a cold which is bad but i am trying to manage :/
This is just your OCD making you doubt. Trust me: If you weren't straight, you wouldn't be terrified of the idea of being with girls. Here's a tip: Use your imagination. Imagine yourself. And imagine the intrusive thoughts right next to you, visualize them as a shape or a colour or etc. And then, imagine how the thoughts keep going further and further away from you. My therapist recommended this method.
wow okay omg thank you so much!! how are you doing??
@Nour04 You're welcome :) I'm feeling quite weird today. My TOCD thoughts come and go and every single time they appear I feel so nauseous. Also because it's summer, I see a lot of half-naked men hanging outside and it makes me feel weird?? Like I get thoughts about wanting to touch them and be sexual with them, but it makes me feel uneasy, however I'm starting to think that I just can't accept the fact I wish to be with them, although I've never wanted to?? Strange.
@Lotte Hein yeah i get it it really does mess with your mind to the point where you can't tell whether or not you like it, maybe even become convinced you like it and want it. it's awful!
Yup girl no offense but you're posting like crazy and its only making you worse in the long run
i am so sorry i figured people would get some kind of annoyed lol. it's just that i don't know anything anymore. there was a while (about 2 weeks) when the only thing i posted about on here was distraction post lmao i was feeling better then. anyway how are you??
@Nour04 Don’t take people trying to help you as them being annoyed. The more you post the further you’re pushing recovery away
I think you really need to stop focusing and thinking about whether you feel attraction to whoever, once you stop worrying about that you'll relax more sis:)
Instead of posting (compulsion), I recommend watching nathan peterson, they call me jesse, or allie greymond on youtube. They can help educate you better on how to deal with this
Is it hocd or have I actually all of a sudden stopped wanting to be with a guy. I have always known I wanted to be in a relationship with a guy but ever since I got these instrusive thoughts about 3 months ago it’s only getting worse and now i dont even know who I am and if I want to date a guy or a girl. I know I don’t want to date a girl but every time I tell myself I want to date a guy I feel like somethings telling me “no you want to be with girls and you don’t have hocd you’re just in denial” Another thing that scares me is that I have never really been boy crazy and I have had small crushes on guys never on girls but every time I have thought a girl was pretty I’m like what if I thought she was attractive and I would have these crushes (they weren’t that crazy)
I feel like I’m starting to deny my sexuality. Before this I never really thought about girls that way. Now I am and it terrifies me. It feels like I just don’t wanna accept that I’m lesbian. I’m so damn lost. It feels like I know I’m lesbian. But I just can’t be. Anyone feel this way? Probably reassurance but if any of you think I am or it seems like I am please tell me.
Please someone help me. I feel like I’m in denial. I feel like I don’t have ocd. It’s too real. The intrusive thoughts aren’t as frequent, I don’t have anxiety or do compulsions. I’m not even against the thoughts anymore. I can’t explain how real it feels. It can’t be ocd and the thing is I just don’t want to like girls. That’s it. I just don’t want to. But that sounds like I’m resisting my sexuality and it feels like this too. I’m sorry to everyone on this app but I don’t think I’m like u anymore. If things like internalised homophobia and comphet didn’t exist then I’d know I was straight but they do so now I think I’m just that. I don’t want to marry a girl or have sex with one or anything. I want to be straight and just fucking live my life. I’ve never had a boyfriend and I haven’t had a crush on a boy for years even though my ‘ocd’ started in the summer. I’ve had loads of male celebrity crushes that I’ve felt like I’ve loved and I don’t understand how those could’ve been fake but they must have been. Compulsions don’t comfort me I just watch tv to distract myself and that’s it. I can’t do this shit anymore. I don’t want to like girls but I have to be either bi or lesbian. Please I just want to be straight I don’t get it.
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