All of my intrusive thoughts feel so real and I’m having daily panic attacks over them. I’m so scared all of the time and I don’t know what’s going on or why it’s getting so much worse all of a sudden. I hate this so much, I just want to feel normal. Can someone please give me advice on what to do? I am going to a therapist but I’m really hesitant to even bring up the content of my intrusive thoughts.

How do you guys handle uncertainty? I keep having so many what if thoughts and I feel so bad. The worst ones are what if I act on my intrusive thoughts or actually want them and I can’t tell if they’re me or not. It just feels so real and at this point I don’t even know if they’re intrusive thoughts anymore. I just want to not be a bad person and not feel like this anymore.

So my therapist told me to start telling myself every time I have an intrusive thought just say oh there’s that thought again, and don’t try to figure it out or do mental compulsions. Well our usual tactic of “there’s that thought/feeling again” is not working at all this morning. This morning I was having really bad anxiety, it hits hardest in the morning when I am lying in bed with my son and I know the thoughts could come at any minute. Well they did, and I immediately was like no please just think of anything else. Well in pushing away the thoughts, I had this really weird feeling like I couldn’t decipher between reality and images. I was just getting flashes of images that felt so real. Even though I could physically feel my body and know I wasnt engaging in the thought or acting on it. It was like a flash of anxiety that hit and I couldn’t tell what was real and wasn’t. So of course my mind starts trying to figure that feeling out and if what I was thinking about just happened. And no matter how many times I’ve tried to say there’s that thought/feeling again, I can’t let it go. I was physically conscious and could feel my body but mentally I couldn’t. It’s so weird and hard to explain. But I’ve been doubting and second guessing that moment all morning and I’m in a bad spiral, again. 😭 it’s like every time I think I’m moving forward I get sucked back in and feel like I can’t practice my tools anymore. I don’t know what I should do 😩

I don't know what to do .I don't know if my therapist knows about intrusive thoughts..I want to tell them and see what she says.I told her some of my worries..but not all.At this point it feels like I am in denial.I had a staring compulsion and made a parent upset and I want to apologise but Idk how And I pray I didn't upset the kid.And I think about a terrible thing when I fantasize..like the thoughts appear and I am so so scared.I hate them.