Could this be rocd? In April of 2020 I had my first run in with rocd because I obsessed over it I was in love with my boyfriend, then it switched to does he love me, then retroactive jealousy and even real event ocd. In December I got really bad sexual orientation ocd , with the core fear behind it being that I’d have to leave my partner and that our love wasn’t real. Finally after months it’s calmed down but I’ve slowly noticed myself obsessing over our relationship again since June/July. We’ve been long distance for 10 months since he joined the military which naturally brings its own doubts and fears but I believe my ocd really amplifies that. I also worry that the “spark” isn’t there and that I’ll only feel one with women even though I really don’t want to be with a woman at all. I follow this with compulsions such as checking my feelings, listening to songs I know make me think of him, reviewing past memories, reading old messages, etc. I also obsess over whether or not I’m truly attracted to him and whether or not I’ll still feel the same when he visits again next month. It’s really been getting in the way of my relationship and making me feel less enthusiastic. I don’t want these doubts and fears, the only thing I want is to be sure of the love for my partner again. The only thing that makes me think this isn’t ocd is that there’s no anxiety, well sometimes the thoughts make me cry and they cause me distress but after months of anxiety with sexual orientation ocd they just run wild in my mind. Could it be ocd even without the anxiety ?

I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.

im having a unusually hard flare up for two months. ive never had it this bad before (ive had this on and off for many years - thank god not constantly.) lately, i keep having these images in my head and scenarios in my head of me "coming out" in the future and ending my relationship with my amazing fiance who i love dearly. he knows everything but i still feel like i am constantly lying to him, my family, and friends. i need to know that this is something the SO-OCD can do to you? the weird thing is, is that i have never been attracted to woman. i do admire their beauty and wish to LOOK like them or have a specific feature they have, but i dont have any urges to like be with them yet i am dealing with this really bad flare up. My brain keeps telling me that since i have never tried it, i would never know, and i am just getting really distressed from it. i just want to be happy again and it seems impossible. I am convinced i am only person that is using SO-OCD as an excuse. Any guidance or advice, or anything really, will help. i just feel alone and scared and sad all the time.

I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now