- Username
- marina<3
- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Username
- marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 5y ago
nothing in particular really triggered my ocd. it was just the thought “what if i’m bisexual “ and my life has been hell since then. i fear that i am questioning my sexuality. all i want to do is be straight but i fear that after ERP i will realize that i am bi. everything feels so real
- Username
- gonzalmcgonzalmc
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I was incredibly freaked out as well- i wanted nothing more than to be straight. It was so freaked out that I would gag and could barely sleep or eat for weeks. Everyone’s story is super different I’ve come to learn but as frustrating as this is, it’s a journey and a process and we won’t always have the answers over night. I KNOW your struggle it is truly awful and I always wished nobody would go through that. At least you know you are not the only one with this issue. You are not alone.
- Username
- musiclover88musiclover88
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’ve been in the same boat. It feels so real but in reality it is only your ocd talking. Try to take your mind off of it and give yourself some space to breathe(easier said than done, I know). You will get through this!
- Username
- gonzalmcgonzalmc
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Have you been diagnosed with ocd by a therapist?
- Username
- marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@gonzalmc, yes i have
- Username
- gonzalmcgonzalmc
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Has ERP helped any? How long have you had these thought?
- Username
- marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 5y ago
i have had these thoughts for almost 5 months and i haven’t started ERP yet but i am soon
- Username
- gonzalmcgonzalmc
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Oh good Im glad you start that because that will help manage anxiety around this thought. Did anything in particular trigger you 5 months ago? I guess something that helped me was accepting that i in fact may be into women. It was extremely hard and painful but i eventually came to accept it as a possibility. I pray you take this response well, I don’t want to freak you out anymore. Also, is there any stigma you have about being gay? I feel like realizing that can also help alleviate pressure.
- Username
- marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 5y ago
thank you!!
- Username
- marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 5y ago
musiclover88, thank you!
- Username
- lwazilwazi
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@musiclover88 have you fully recovered from this I’ve just started doing self erp the thoughts have slowly subsided but I’ve still lost attraction and my libido is extremely low any tips you could give .
- Username
- Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I had this one years ago, and remember reading sexuality is like a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being heterosexual and 10 being gay. Everyone is somewhere along that line, but it is impossible to determine exactly where. Sexuality is really not a black or white thing and like most things trying to find certainty is pointless
Related posts
- Username
- nicolep123
- Date posted
- 5y ago
my ocd has been really convincing lately. it’s convincing me that i’m just questioning my sexuality and that i’m bi and just don’t know it yet. i can’t help but think “what if these thoughts and feelings are real” i’m so lost i just feel like all of this has changed who i was. the worst part is that i barely have a reaction to these thoughts so it’s hard for me to tell if it’s ocd or not. how do i know if it’s ocd or i’m just questioning my sexuality??
- Username
- Idk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I seriously have never thought about girls until now. It just never crossed my mind. I never liked or had feelings for a girl. And now that I’m constantly questioning everything and picturing everything. It just feels like I like it. It scares me, would I be happy with a girl ?? I don’t want to be with a girl but I feels like I do want this. It’s so confusing. I can’t tell whether this is actually ocd or I’m genuinely attracted to the same sex. I hate this so much !!! It’s like I just completely lost myself and questioned it so much I’ve just become lesbian but some things just don’t make sense. Why would I catch feelings for other boys? Never girls. I don’t know anymore. I’m happy with my boyfriend. Without these thoughts I’d be so good and so much more happy. Now I just don’t fucking know and this hurts so damn bad that I can’t just rest not one day. This is so damn stressful and hurtful to question your identity every single day. Sometimes I seriously just feel like I’m lesbian but I can’t seem to settle on that because I just can’t be. I want to just die. I hate what my mind is doing to me. I hate I have to go through these thoughts alone. I hate everything. I just want to crawl in a hole and never see anyone. I just want to hug my boyfriend and have my thoughts erased. I’ve thought too much and too deep I can’t stop. I’m crying from sadness because I don’t know what’s real anymore and I never in a million years thought this is something I’d have to deal with.
- Username
- ninkaninga
- Date posted
- 22w ago
Its so scary
I have no idea if this is just OCD and I’m actually just straight or i was in denial my whole life. Now it feels so scary, i feel like im realizing my true self, that ive always been gay, that im just using SO-OCD as a cover up. IT FEELS SO REAL. I even feel like others with SO-OCD dont experience this feeling and i must experience something different. Its literally a feeling like an urge to admit myself that I’m gay and it even feels like i know im gay and i was using OCD as a cover up for 6 years. I cant even describe that feeling. When i try to imagine myself with a girl in my mind it makes me feel like i like that thought like i want it😔 It feels all very very real. I think you guys with SOOCD have different feelings and you actually have OCD. I dont want these thoughts. I dont want to be gay, i dont want to feel this. But maybe i was my whole life in denial. 😭😭
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