- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
nothing in particular really triggered my ocd. it was just the thought “what if i’m bisexual “ and my life has been hell since then. i fear that i am questioning my sexuality. all i want to do is be straight but i fear that after ERP i will realize that i am bi. everything feels so real
- Date posted
- 6y
I was incredibly freaked out as well- i wanted nothing more than to be straight. It was so freaked out that I would gag and could barely sleep or eat for weeks. Everyone’s story is super different I’ve come to learn but as frustrating as this is, it’s a journey and a process and we won’t always have the answers over night. I KNOW your struggle it is truly awful and I always wished nobody would go through that. At least you know you are not the only one with this issue. You are not alone.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve been in the same boat. It feels so real but in reality it is only your ocd talking. Try to take your mind off of it and give yourself some space to breathe(easier said than done, I know). You will get through this!
- Date posted
- 6y
Have you been diagnosed with ocd by a therapist?
- Date posted
- 6y
@gonzalmc, yes i have
- Date posted
- 6y
Has ERP helped any? How long have you had these thought?
- Date posted
- 6y
i have had these thoughts for almost 5 months and i haven’t started ERP yet but i am soon
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh good Im glad you start that because that will help manage anxiety around this thought. Did anything in particular trigger you 5 months ago? I guess something that helped me was accepting that i in fact may be into women. It was extremely hard and painful but i eventually came to accept it as a possibility. I pray you take this response well, I don’t want to freak you out anymore. Also, is there any stigma you have about being gay? I feel like realizing that can also help alleviate pressure.
- Date posted
- 6y
thank you!!
- Date posted
- 6y
musiclover88, thank you!
- Date posted
- 6y
@musiclover88 have you fully recovered from this I’ve just started doing self erp the thoughts have slowly subsided but I’ve still lost attraction and my libido is extremely low any tips you could give .
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
I had this one years ago, and remember reading sexuality is like a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being heterosexual and 10 being gay. Everyone is somewhere along that line, but it is impossible to determine exactly where. Sexuality is really not a black or white thing and like most things trying to find certainty is pointless
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m sobbing right now. I’m convinced that I’ve been in denial all along and that it’s all real. It has to be now. I don’t wanna be a boy but I feel like there’s no way I’m not one if I’m doing these things. There’s no way I’m a cis girl if I’m doing these things. I’m so fucking done with life I feel absolutely trapped. I don’t wanna be a man but fuuuuuuuuck I think it’s real now I’m so fcking done with living. I really feel like I’ve been using OCD as an excuse/a cover up and I’m scared it’s all a facade. There’s no way it’s not real now I’m literally so fcking scared I want it all to stop. If anyone has advice please send some my way. I need it badly
- Date posted
- 20w
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
- Date posted
- 19w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
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