marina<3
- Date posted
- 6y
marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 6y
nothing in particular really triggered my ocd. it was just the thought “what if i’m bisexual “ and my life has been hell since then. i fear that i am questioning my sexuality. all i want to do is be straight but i fear that after ERP i will realize that i am bi. everything feels so real
gonzalmcgonzalmc
- Date posted
- 6y
I was incredibly freaked out as well- i wanted nothing more than to be straight. It was so freaked out that I would gag and could barely sleep or eat for weeks. Everyone’s story is super different I’ve come to learn but as frustrating as this is, it’s a journey and a process and we won’t always have the answers over night. I KNOW your struggle it is truly awful and I always wished nobody would go through that. At least you know you are not the only one with this issue. You are not alone.
musiclover88musiclover88
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve been in the same boat. It feels so real but in reality it is only your ocd talking. Try to take your mind off of it and give yourself some space to breathe(easier said than done, I know). You will get through this!
gonzalmcgonzalmc
- Date posted
- 6y
Have you been diagnosed with ocd by a therapist?
marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 6y
@gonzalmc, yes i have
gonzalmcgonzalmc
- Date posted
- 6y
Has ERP helped any? How long have you had these thought?
marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 6y
i have had these thoughts for almost 5 months and i haven’t started ERP yet but i am soon
gonzalmcgonzalmc
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh good Im glad you start that because that will help manage anxiety around this thought. Did anything in particular trigger you 5 months ago? I guess something that helped me was accepting that i in fact may be into women. It was extremely hard and painful but i eventually came to accept it as a possibility. I pray you take this response well, I don’t want to freak you out anymore. Also, is there any stigma you have about being gay? I feel like realizing that can also help alleviate pressure.
marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 6y
thank you!!
marina<3marina<3
- Date posted
- 6y
musiclover88, thank you!
lwazilwazi
- Date posted
- 6y
@musiclover88 have you fully recovered from this I’ve just started doing self erp the thoughts have slowly subsided but I’ve still lost attraction and my libido is extremely low any tips you could give .
Garrett MaguireGarrett Maguire
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
I had this one years ago, and remember reading sexuality is like a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being heterosexual and 10 being gay. Everyone is somewhere along that line, but it is impossible to determine exactly where. Sexuality is really not a black or white thing and like most things trying to find certainty is pointless
Related posts
Vee <3
- Date posted
- 24w
Heyyyy!
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
confused writer
- Date posted
- 18w
Anyone here who really thinks
The thoughts are real? I have so ocd I really think I’m gay.
evasprog
- Date posted
- 12w
New sort of intrusive thought
Hello, so I’ve been struggling really badly with so-ocd where I am worried that I’m not actually straight when that’s what I’ve always thought and wanted to be. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years now, he’s my first boyfriend and I really love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I remember one time, before I had struggles with so-ocd, I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I’m missing out on other men by staying with him’ and it didn’t really cause any anxiety but I felt quite guilty for thinking that. But I moved on. However, right now I’m in the depths of so-ocd it started back in March I believe, and today I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I never get the opportunity to try being with a woman because I’m in a relationship with a man’ and that has really set me off today. I’ve had a meltdown over it, my chest feels heavy and it felt so real like I actually wanted it and I had a feeling of wanting to be gay even though that’s not what I want in life. Why is this happening to me and I feel so horrible for thinking this like it felt like it was me and not the ocd and that I’m just lying to myself and my boyfriend. I’ve tried scrolling on here to see if anyone has had a similar thought or experience and I am aware that this is reassurance seeking but I just need someone to tell me that I’m okay
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