- Username
- sassyunicornx
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I had to check your name to make sure I didn't write this. I'm the same, and before I got married, both my father.n.law and Mom told me a 2 different times, are you sure you want to marry. ..you can back out now...(as I was riding in my parents car) on the way to get married. ... I have thought about that off and on for years. I start to ruminate very badly, that I can barley pop out of it. Then I don't know and I question, maybe they knew something I didn't know, even tho at the time I was, why you say that!!! I'm perfectly fine getting married. 37 ys later I still think about it, over and over and over and over... its an awful thought process. I know in the deepest of my soul, I love him and want to be with him , but darn OCD doubting disease rears it ugly head, just when things are goibg great. Idk where I was going with this, but hang in there!!
It really is awful, I feel sick with guilt. Im new to this so I've replied in some comments further down too. I'm just really struggling
i’m also dealing with this :( you’re not alone.. it’s hard taking on ROCD and unhelpful family members.
It's horrible it really is I didn't need them to fill my head with doubts, I was fine before. Now my brain is doubting everything. Doubting if I've given off wrong impressions to the friend that I confided in for him to make a pass at me. Everything I feel sick with guilt even though I did nothing, it was my family putting doubts in my head that have made me spiral into these thoughts
@sassyunicornx i get you, i really do. you might not realize it but you’re ruminating right now. just try to take a deep breath, hydrate and try your best to relax. sometimes in order to conquer the demons.. you have to face them. i promise you’re not alone. you did nothing wrong <3
It's so hard to confide in people who don't understand the ocd doubting disease. ... I swear some people really like to make things allot worse than they really are. ... as for your family, I think all families have "their" "ideal" of what and who their children and grown adult children should be like and who our friends are. It's so annoying., IMO as long as the person you're dating is safe , kind, gentle and understanding, then that's a good thing and keep getting to know him. Does he know you have OCD? ...
Yeah my partner knows I have OCD and is the most supportive I just feel so ridiculous and guilty for even doubting us based on other people's nasty opinions. It's really spiralled me. Like I said I went and confided in someone who was suppose to be my friend, he's taken it all wrong and twisted and lied and has now made everything worse for me
@sassyunicornx Yeah, there's nothing you can do now other than put out the fires if they circulate.. prob the best thing to do in the future is not say anything to that person , unfortunately , he sounds exactly like the person you don't want to be around or confide in. ... But who knew, he was goibg to be like that anyway... pretty sure this too, will pass. Don't give him any more info, not worth it. Imo, you caught him, he's the one who should be feeling bad for breaking trust. . ... just do nothing , sometimes that's the best thing. Hope you get some sleep soon. I always count sheep jumping over a fence starting 100 backwards. Lol
I suffer from ROCD as well, and talking about relational worries or receiving advice can cause me to ruminate a lot. So I feel you, and I’m sorry your friend tried to make a pass and made things more complicated. I’m sure that this is way worse in your head than in reality - something I’ve had to tell myself a lot!
I went and confided in someone I shouldn't, he's twisted the whole story and now I'm doubting everything about myself and what happened where as I know deep down I did nothing wrong. It's 1am and I'm struggling to eat sleep, I just feel sick with guilt. My family should have never ever have filled my head with doubts knowing what I've suffered with in the past and for that I feel its unforgivable, this is why I'm in this situation now. I feel like it's best to focus on my relationship and prove the truth to him and distance myself from family members x
i’ve been in this situation, just know there is hope and it will pass. don’t talk to that person anymore, it will be hard but you should just remove any and all contact with that person. and ignore your family!!! you know what’s best for you and what you want <3 sending love to you!
I had no one to turn to, the two people closest to me were the ones being doubtful and nasty about my relationship I stuck by my guns and said I'm happy. I feel like I was in a vulnerable state, doubting everything because of how they made me feel, and now am regretting ever putting myself in the situation where I confided in a friend of the opposite sex.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is an absolute angel. All throughout the relationship I would have nightmares and intrusive thoughts “what if he leaves/cheats”. And he would reassure me and treat me like the world revolves around me. Lately I’m realizing this was actually ocd and not anxiety as I had previously thought. I would get paranoid if he didn’t check his messages for a couple hours, I’d get anxious if I saw an ambulance heading toward his street while I was driving, I would ask for reassurance that he loved me constantly. Bear in mind, I have no reason to have these fears. My boyfriend is my best friend and has supported me through thick and thin and he’s amazing. One time a couple months ago I was being a bit snappy with him one night and I had the thought “only people who don’t like their partners are snappy with them” and it just stuck. Now I struggle with intrusive thoughts about my own feelings, do I love him, do I miss him enough, is my relationship going to end because this couple on social media broke up. I could deal with the thoughts about his feelings because he is so so good about making me feel loved but now I’m stuck in this constant guilt loop where I question my relationship for no reason then get anxious and feel guilty for even thinking that way because I think I’m manifesting it. Was wondering if anybody else in a healthy long term relationship has had this happen to them and how you talk yourself down :(
so back in july i made a mistake of going behind my partner’s back and hanging out with an old guy friend (who i had a romantic past with) and while i was hanging out with him i had a great time but man my thoughts were going crazy. i found him attractive, funny, etc. i’ve known him for years and everytime we would talk i felt there was some type of tension. like romantic or something. well i felt it again when we hung out and immediately regretted it because i know i love my boyfriend a lot and i felt like a horrible person for doing something like that. i couldn’t hide it from him any longer than i did (not even 3 days) so i told him and he got really upset. at the time i didn’t know what i want, either my boyfriend or that friend. i decided to stay with my boyfriend and ever since i’ve been getting crazy intrusive thoughts about my old friend (i blocked him so i don’t have contact with him). a few months later (now) i know that i want and love my boyfriend, i don’t want to be with anyone else. but i’ve been getting so many intrusive thoughts about that guy and seeing certain posts just remind me of him even when i don’t want them to. then my brain starts to spiral - ‘what if you actually want to be with him instead and you’re just in denial right now’ or something like ‘you dont love your boyfriend, if you did you wouldnt be having these thoughts’ and i’m just so..drained. i’m so tired of thinking about this guy, i seriously don’t want to think about him. i just want to be happy with my boyfriend. i keep telling myself i know what i want, because i do. i want to be with my bf and i want to be happy with him…i love him so much. but my brain just tries to tell me otherwise. i know i messed up and i’m paying the price for it. maybe i do deserve this. i just wish i could erase everything, my past, etc. and just move on. my boyfriend doesn’t hold what i did against me but he’s well aware of what happened and i know how it made him feel. i would do anything to take it back because he doesn’t deserve that, he never did. and i seriously want to be better for him. but these constant thoughts i get are always getting in the way and almost making me feel hopeless. i haven’t told my bf about these thoughts because i’m worried he would take it the wrong way. i really don’t think i should tell him because i know for a fact it would send us both down a spiral and i don’t want that. but, ocd will always try to get what it wants. anyone else going through something similar? some common humanity would probably ease my mind a bit. (in a non-compulsive way. or maybe this is a compulsion. idk.)
Hi, I have never posted on a forum before because I’m scared someone will come back and say ‘it’s not OCD’. Anyway, I have always had obsessional thoughts. Always obsessed about my health and if I was going to die. I have always had intrusive thoughts and when I was around 16 I had my first awful one HOCD. This made me feel so sick and I couldn’t leave my bed. Would look at women and get groinal responses and would avoid anything LGBTQ. I then suffered with POCD, which I nearly asked to be sectioned over. Now, I am with my current partner (2months) and we are moving in together in 2 weeks. I have known him since I was 14 and have always had a thing for him. Anyway, last year there was this person at work who I forced and convinced myself to ‘like’ don’t even know if I even did to be honest. But his background is awful and everyone around me said it was a bad decision and I knew this too. We used to talk all the time but yeah, anyway… I said I didn’t want a relationship and distanced myself from him and never really thought about him. I’m now in my relationship with my current partner and I adore him. He is fully aware of what is going on in my head. I have also just started therapy. My head is comparing him to this guy at work. Makes me think they look alike, but this all stemmed from when my current partner was talking about his family past and I instantly thought oh no, I hope my family doesn’t think this is bad (they love him). So now, my head is saying ‘what if you love this other guy’ what if the reason you can’t get this out your head is because the universe is giving you a sign’ ‘what if everyone told you not to go there, then what’ the thoughts are endless and honestly, I can’t stop crying, it is making me physically sick, have panic attacks. I confess to my partner all the time and he is honestly so supportive! I feel like I’m mentally cheating or what if I’m denial. When we first got together I was fine. No thoughts and then bang I’m consumed. My head is filled with them. I feel congested with him. I feel disgusting. I look for reassurance. I constantly look on Quora and Reddit. I can’t cope. I love my current partner! And we tried getting together years ago but it wasn’t our time and since, I thought about him every now and again and now my brain is saying ‘oh see, what if it’s the same situation with this guy a work’ I just want coping mechanisms and relief. This honestly feels like torture.!!! oh and my head says ‘what if you go to therapy and discover your true desires and it turns out that it isn’t ocd’
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