Hey guys. Trigger warning Soooo I had sexual orientation ocd where I was worried I was truly a lesbian. Now that obsession has stopped bothering me and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m bisexual! Totally okay with that except now my ocd is telling me that the only reason why I think I’m bi is because this obsession has convinced me I’m bi! Woohoo what fucking hell! Yeah, and now I’m suffering from pocd. And since my sexual orientation ocd kinda sorta had some truth to it, I’m terrified all my other obsessions do too! I don’t want reassurance. I just want to know if anyone has any similar experiences to this and how you dealt with it. The anxiety is making me lose sleep and is burying me in my depression.

mark.c_001

Date posted: 6y

Use the same strategies if you have seen a therapist or a psychologist. If not it sounds like you definitely need to go to one

Date posted: 6y

Okay, I'm sorry if this counts as reassurance, but before I knew I had ocd I was super worried I was a lesbian too (I definitely had a crush on a girl it was undeniable) and also came to the conclusion I'm bi. But just because one of those obsessions of yours turned out to have truth to it does NOT mean the others do as well, your ocd is just feeding on that worry and possibility. I also have pocd and it's the worst thing I've ever gone through. But being bi feels okay, and being a P does not. It goes against our morals, it goes against our very beings (don't let ocd take this and twist it around to worry you that it somehow doesn't go against your morals) and personally I believe the two issues are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. One was a worry for me because I live in a homophobic family, the other is a worry because it's what I consider to be the worst thing I could possibly be. Yeah, I didn't like not knowing for sure what my sexuality was, but that is a totally different worry than pocd. I have wondered and worried about the same things you do and I am here to talk i you ever want to

Date posted: 6y

Also if you are able to see a therapist, I definitely would recommend it. At first I didn't believe it was helping but it honestly really was. I stopped going because of anxiety but am considering going back again

kaailyy

Date posted: 6y

i also have obsessions about my sexual orientation. it's done alot of damage but I'm working through it. I personally identify myself as bi but I don't talk about it to anyone who doesn't know that I've dated both men and women. it's my skeleton in the closet that I obsess over in my own head. thank you for sharing because I know now I'm not alone!

figuringital...

Date posted: 6y

I never had HOCD but I am attracted to men, and it’s help feed my POCD because for years I never really “knew” I was queer. I mean, I would have sexual responses to men but I truly believed I was straight. And honestly, I had crushes on girls and even masturbated thinking of them. I look back now and realize how forced it mostly was, but it scares me because, if I could go alllll those years thinking I was one thing and believing it, am I doing the same now?

figuringital...

Date posted: 6y

Not exactly the same situation, but I totally feel you

Date posted: 6y

I relate to all of this so much! So honestly, if it's any comfort, just know you guys are NOT alone. I'm right there with you

Date posted: 6y

@gonzalmc I'm so sorry, I wish I had good advice for you. I think doubt is normal in a relationship, though, asking yourself "is this what I want?" Every relationship is going to have a little bit of doubt mixed in there, it's natural. It seems like you really do care for him. Maybe you could get back together but tell him you need to take things a little slower? Also it might help to post this on its own thread and tag it with relationship ocd, then other people with rocd might have much better advice than me haha. Wishing you the best x

Participant11

Date posted: 6y

Thank you guys. I appreciate your comments. And T, stay strong. Pocd is, in my opinion, one of the hardest obsessions to go through and heal from.

Participant11

Date posted: 6y

Yeah, I have sexual responses mainly to women so it’s like yeah maybe I identify as bi now but I’m really a lesbian. But I’ve accepted the uncertainty and I’m totally cool with my orientation being queer or straight. But I totally feel you on how you tell yourself that you were in denial over this so you must be in denial over everything else you obsess over. Ocd sucks. I doubt whether or not I even have ocd. Like, can we get a break?!

gonzalmc

Date posted: 6y

T- I was afraid I was gay since I was a little girl. The fear went on and off throughout my life and now I realized I am bi as well. So my biggest fear has some truth to it as well. I have accepted I am bi and am okay with it. However, I have been dating an amazing man whom o think I love and was planning on moving in with and have been thinking “ I want a women” it feels 100% real. I broke up with him and feel like I need to figure out if that is really what I want or if it’s just a thought. This is awful because this would be the 2 man I would lose bc of this HOCD fear. Now that ive had some space I think I do love him and want to be happy with him but then immediately after I have “ i want a women” this is ruining my life. I can’t keep going back and forth like this.

gonzalmc

Date posted: 6y

Will do thank you :)

Participant11

Date posted: 6y

Do any of you guys also experience depression after the spikes? Right now I feel so low because of these obsessions. They’re draining

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 24w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

Vee <3

Date posted: 17w

Heyyyy!

So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.

Sexual Orientation OCD

sofiaraaah7

Date posted: 12w

TOCD and very light SO-OCD

I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲

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