- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I am scared to even have sex too… it’s like I don’t enjoy it anymore which is making me believe I don’t love him but before I got all stressed out I was able to make love without a problem and enjoy it. I had obsessive problems before hand about wax worrying if sex was the only reason I was with him…. I am really stuck in a loop and I don’t have money to do therapy on here…. 😞 I don’t even know if I truly wanna be with him or not anymore….. I still say I love you to him but I worry it doesn’t feel genuine….
- Date posted
- 3y
Then I gained a lot of weight too like 40 pounds…. So I don’t feel attractive to myself either.. I wonder if that plays a role in this..
- Date posted
- 3y
I had a relief moment earlier last week. I felt a spark and told him he was so handsome…. Why can’t I feel that way all the time… I know it’s impossible to be I miss being closer to him..
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
For me it makes me feel absolutely certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that I don’t love him. At the end of the day, the best way I’ve found on my own is to try not to do any compulsions/reassurance seeking, and try not to force any feelings that I’m not feeling naturally (like love). Emotions are so fickle and they come and go and are not necessarily the truth. When you stop trying to force these things, the anxiety eventually lessens, and once the anxiety is gone or more manageable, these thoughts will not bother you so much. At the end of the day, love is a choice we make, not a feeling, and when you are not stuck in the OCD loop, it becomes very easy to know this and make the decision to love :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I struggle with rocd, and a big intrusive thought that I have is that I’m no longer in love with my partner. I am going through a depression right now, and I am struggling to feel any kind of passion towards anything at the moment. I am withdrawing from the people I love because I just feel like I want to be alone. When I’m with people I just feel exhausted by it. I guess my question is, has anyone ever felt like this from depression? Does it take feelings of love and attraction away? I can’t tell if this is my ocd or depression or a combination of both. But it’s starting to impact my relationship which makes me panic because losing it is my worst fear.
- Date posted
- 17w
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
- Date posted
- 10w
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
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