- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sounds identical! I have that too. I actually get frightened that my thoughts don’t provoke rumination lately. Seems to be all about that eureka moment. “When I figure this out or get there then I’ll be happy”.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I mean the idea comes from Mark Freemans you are not a rock book and not wanting to feel feelings. I am just noticing that my OCD is just one way of trying to control or escape those feelings. It’s interesting though because as my typical ruminations aren’t consuming as much mental energy I’m now just faced with me and nothing else. And I don’t like it! It’s just me and plain old anxiety and fear.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Well i know exactly what you’re saying. I’m constantly going back to my “blue sky” of what I was before this but I think what is very interesting is that our OCD is trying to get us to feel better but it’s like a Chinese finger trap. The more we try, the more we struggle trying to get rid of it, the more we push for that EUREKA moment, the more we get caught in sadness, anxiety, and fear because we expect to feel something else and that is where it is dangerous, like throwing gasoline on a fire.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
100%! I’ve only done a week of ERP and I’m already beating myself up and getting defeated cause I keep getting tricked into worrying about something new and being spurred to solve a problem and find that eureka moment
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I can’t recall the book. I think it’s the happiness trap but it basically says looking for the solution is the problem.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I may add it to the reading list. I need to find something to get out of this rumination loop that’s just so debilitating.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Interesting take. I just wrote about an hour ago how much I was struggling with the fact that I can’t find a coping technique to keep me happy, like a EUREKA moment. Like there are times that I am constantly thinking about my thoughts but I get no anxiety and that freaks me out. Maybe that’s my OCD trying to make me feel like I can control my emotions instead of just letting them ride. What do you think? It’s kind of similar.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I have said that literal sentence before. It’s a very interesting take. I have to hand it to you. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold on to that awareness, well because, that’s my life haha but I hope you take it and it helps you.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Omg I am going through this!!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It kind of makes sense doesn’t it? No matter what we do, our OCD makes it easy to find something else to worry about? Whether we’re not getting anxious anymore, which causes us to get worried, or we find something else to worry about like for me, I’m worried of what lasting effects this is going to have on me. We’re trying to find happiness and eureka moments and when we don’t, we get worried about that. Does this make sense?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Totally Like because we think oh this isn’t normal to feel this way we search to feel better like some form of perfect way of thinking is what’s normal but in reality nobody is perfect
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Problem is i think I’ve always thought being an adult meant you had it all sorted not reality at all!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
yes!! sometimes i get so caught up wondering if it’s my ocd if it’s it’s a normal thought, or wonder what i would be thinking like rn if i didn’t have ocd
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’ve been meditating for like 6 months now and I just started a new session that kind of hit home especially with this article. It might not be about finding a eureka moment or that constant feeling of smiling and happy go lucky feeling like Buddy the Elf, but more of feeling of content and satisfied. If we keep trying to find that Buddy the Elf feeling, all we are doing is fueling our OCD, trying to find that feeling because we are prone to worry to try and find it.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I’m new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancé, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether that’s an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I can’t disengage till there is a clear resolution. It’s causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 7w ago
I used to get caught in a loop with existential thoughts very frequently. Every question made my stomach drop: (TW: existential questions) … … ... "Why does anything exist at all? What will death be like? Is anything even real? Is there any meaning to this? Is the universe infinitely big, and if not, what's beyond it? Are there multiverses? Has the universe been around forever? Will the universe end for good, or will it keep going forever? What is forever like? What even IS reality?" It would get so overwhelming that I remember lying on the floor in a fetal position for hours because I felt like there was no escape. I spent most of my days reading articles and watching videos about theoretical astrophysics and philosophy in a desperate attempt to "figure it all out." Of course that only made me more anxious, raised more questions, and kept me trapped in the cycle. Things started to improve once I learned to turn TOWARD reality, rather than away from it, and ERP really helped me do that. I learned that these questions weren't the problem. I learned that I can actually handle the anxiety that arises when exposed to these ideas and concepts. I don't have to figure anything out to make the anxiety go away; it arises and passes away on its own. Ironically, bringing myself into the present moment and becoming more aware of reality helped me escape the cycle of existential dread. Because of that, this topic no longer takes over my life. If I'm triggered by something I see, hear, or think, I may still feel a little twang of anxiety, but then it just goes away. "Maybe, maybe not" has been the single most useful phrase of my life. Do you ever get trapped in a cycle of existential questions? Are you worried that the ERP approach would be too scary to handle? If so, I'm happy to give my advice.
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