- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Sounds identical! I have that too. I actually get frightened that my thoughts don’t provoke rumination lately. Seems to be all about that eureka moment. “When I figure this out or get there then I’ll be happy”.
- Date posted
- 6y
I mean the idea comes from Mark Freemans you are not a rock book and not wanting to feel feelings. I am just noticing that my OCD is just one way of trying to control or escape those feelings. It’s interesting though because as my typical ruminations aren’t consuming as much mental energy I’m now just faced with me and nothing else. And I don’t like it! It’s just me and plain old anxiety and fear.
- Date posted
- 6y
Well i know exactly what you’re saying. I’m constantly going back to my “blue sky” of what I was before this but I think what is very interesting is that our OCD is trying to get us to feel better but it’s like a Chinese finger trap. The more we try, the more we struggle trying to get rid of it, the more we push for that EUREKA moment, the more we get caught in sadness, anxiety, and fear because we expect to feel something else and that is where it is dangerous, like throwing gasoline on a fire.
- Date posted
- 6y
100%! I’ve only done a week of ERP and I’m already beating myself up and getting defeated cause I keep getting tricked into worrying about something new and being spurred to solve a problem and find that eureka moment
- Date posted
- 6y
I can’t recall the book. I think it’s the happiness trap but it basically says looking for the solution is the problem.
- Date posted
- 6y
I may add it to the reading list. I need to find something to get out of this rumination loop that’s just so debilitating.
- Date posted
- 6y
Interesting take. I just wrote about an hour ago how much I was struggling with the fact that I can’t find a coping technique to keep me happy, like a EUREKA moment. Like there are times that I am constantly thinking about my thoughts but I get no anxiety and that freaks me out. Maybe that’s my OCD trying to make me feel like I can control my emotions instead of just letting them ride. What do you think? It’s kind of similar.
- Date posted
- 6y
I have said that literal sentence before. It’s a very interesting take. I have to hand it to you. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold on to that awareness, well because, that’s my life haha but I hope you take it and it helps you.
- Date posted
- 6y
Omg I am going through this!!
- Date posted
- 6y
It kind of makes sense doesn’t it? No matter what we do, our OCD makes it easy to find something else to worry about? Whether we’re not getting anxious anymore, which causes us to get worried, or we find something else to worry about like for me, I’m worried of what lasting effects this is going to have on me. We’re trying to find happiness and eureka moments and when we don’t, we get worried about that. Does this make sense?
- Date posted
- 6y
Totally Like because we think oh this isn’t normal to feel this way we search to feel better like some form of perfect way of thinking is what’s normal but in reality nobody is perfect
- Date posted
- 6y
Problem is i think I’ve always thought being an adult meant you had it all sorted not reality at all!
- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
yes!! sometimes i get so caught up wondering if it’s my ocd if it’s it’s a normal thought, or wonder what i would be thinking like rn if i didn’t have ocd
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve been meditating for like 6 months now and I just started a new session that kind of hit home especially with this article. It might not be about finding a eureka moment or that constant feeling of smiling and happy go lucky feeling like Buddy the Elf, but more of feeling of content and satisfied. If we keep trying to find that Buddy the Elf feeling, all we are doing is fueling our OCD, trying to find that feeling because we are prone to worry to try and find it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Common posts on here are "i had a thought" "why am i thinking this" "what if" and these are all OCDs way of making you doubt yourself while taking you round and round in never ending circles at the same time. Regardless of the theme you are facing, there is no "figuring out" or "making sense" of a thought, because it isn't a real situation - it's a passing word or image or scenario without any meaning attached. You can't control your thoughts and the more you "don't want to have them" the more they will appear. For instance, tell yourself not to think about "apples", it will be the first thing that comes to your mind, because that's just how our minds work. Once you categorise a thought as "bad", every time it comes into your mind, your anxiety level will go up and this makes the thought seem real. Because if it "Feels" this bad, surely it must mean something or must have happened - But none of this is true. All we have to do is naturally notice thoughts as they come up, and rather than try to assess or ruminate over the content, we can almost shrug them off. It's the only way to accept thoughts as simply thoughts and nothing more. Anxiety drives the intense feeling and the more attention you give to thoughts, the more power they have over you. No random thought can change your real intentions. OCD is never ever satisfied, so the only way forward is to accept the uncertainty of never knowing "for sure" and to class the unwanted thought as irrelevant. OCD says "quick..bad thought..feels horrible.. what does it mean.. fix it". But in reality there is nothing bad here or nothing to be fixed, it's a false alarm. Once you learn to respond to a thought calmly by working on anxiety, it gets easier over time. It's your perception of your thoughts that needs to change, you believe they mean something about you, but random things pop into our heads all the time - both things we like and things we don't. OCD also latches onto what we care about most and it always comes with a feared consequence, so think about what yours is, e.g "what happens if my worst fear comes true" you can then practice imaginal exposure which is imagining your worst case scenario over and over until you become desensitised to it and no longer fear it - therapists use this technique in sessions. Everyone in the world has thoughts, the thoughts are not the issue, you just get more of what you focus on, up until the point that you can change your attitude towards the thought. If I asked you if you went upstairs today you would have an answer straight away, however if I asked you a question related to your OCD theme, your anxiety would increase and you would doubt yourself, because that's OCD doing the thinking for you. Once you give it less power it becomes a less significant part of your day. It's so easy to give into compulsions as they feel like a "quick fix".. but as I mentioned, ocd is never happy, which is why it wants us to continue to check and seek reassurance. Once you start reducing and gradually stopping compulsions, whether this is rumination, checking, or a physical action (whatever you falsely believe is "keeping you safe" from your feared consequence) you will see it's not necessary to do them, and that the time consuming little things you have taught yourself to do have no effect on what actually happens in real life. Thoughts prompt feelings and feelings prompt actions - meaning - thoughts cause anxiety and anxiety drives unnecessary actions. As a side note, I overcame contamination ocd (I was in a very very bad way and now the theme doesn't bother me anymore). I still have OCD and it can affect me slightly at times, but i can manage it in a way that it doesn't interfere with my day and without the need to carry out compulsions. Please practice, because I promise it helps, it's super scary at first and extremely difficult but the end result is worth it. ERP therapy is also very helpful.
- Date posted
- 24w
i feel like I can’t even enjoy time with my boyfriend anymore. No matter what we do, I’m constantly analyzing, checking, and questioning if I love him, if I feel anything, if I even want to be with him. It’s exhausting. I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel present, and I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve read about ERP, and I know it’s supposed to help, but I don’t know how to start. I feel like my fears are too real, like maybe this isn’t just ROCD—maybe I actually don’t love him, and I’m just scared to accept it. It feels like I’m lying to myself. I know my compulsions: I constantly check my feelings, analyze past memories, compare my relationship to others, and seek reassurance. I know I’m supposed to stop doing these things, but what do I do instead? What do I do when the thoughts hit me with full force and I feel completely numb? I’m scared to sit with the uncertainty. I’m scared that if I stop checking, I’ll realize I don’t love him. I want to do ERP, but I don’t even know where to begin. Has anyone successfully gone through this? How do you deal with the fear when it feels so real?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
I used to get caught in a loop with existential thoughts very frequently. Every question made my stomach drop: (TW: existential questions) … … ... "Why does anything exist at all? What will death be like? Is anything even real? Is there any meaning to this? Is the universe infinitely big, and if not, what's beyond it? Are there multiverses? Has the universe been around forever? Will the universe end for good, or will it keep going forever? What is forever like? What even IS reality?" It would get so overwhelming that I remember lying on the floor in a fetal position for hours because I felt like there was no escape. I spent most of my days reading articles and watching videos about theoretical astrophysics and philosophy in a desperate attempt to "figure it all out." Of course that only made me more anxious, raised more questions, and kept me trapped in the cycle. Things started to improve once I learned to turn TOWARD reality, rather than away from it, and ERP really helped me do that. I learned that these questions weren't the problem. I learned that I can actually handle the anxiety that arises when exposed to these ideas and concepts. I don't have to figure anything out to make the anxiety go away; it arises and passes away on its own. Ironically, bringing myself into the present moment and becoming more aware of reality helped me escape the cycle of existential dread. Because of that, this topic no longer takes over my life. If I'm triggered by something I see, hear, or think, I may still feel a little twang of anxiety, but then it just goes away. "Maybe, maybe not" has been the single most useful phrase of my life. Do you ever get trapped in a cycle of existential questions? Are you worried that the ERP approach would be too scary to handle? If so, I'm happy to give my advice.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond