i’m having a really really bad spike and i feel like i’m in denial now. even though i’ve never been interested in dating girls or even the thought makes me just grossed out i just can’t see myself ever being with a girl. i’m just crying right now and i would really like someone to talk to about this please

Be strong. This is our disease. Try to focus on something else

I feel the same way. I try to say these thoughts aren’t real but then my mind tries to trick me and say your in denial.

Im right there with you. I completely understand. Im having trouble with letting things go and trying to abandon my checking and my rituals. I promise you that you arent alone at all in this

thank you that means a lot:) it’s just so stressful and it feels so fucking real i hate it

Trust me i know all too well how maddening it is. It makes me want to SCREAM

exactly. i just wish it was talked about more and i hate when people are like i’m so ocd everything has to be clean. that’s not how that works bitch lol like they just don’t know how lucky they are that they don’t have to worry about these thoughts and images they can’t get out. i need to go to my therapist like right now and just be like. do whatever it is i need to do to stop this shit because i’m so done with it. i literally don’t even know where it came from it just popped in my head on day like 2 months ago and ever since then it’s just gotten worse

Oh same. I saw a tweet and it basically took my brain out and replaced it with a beehive. And ive been bees ever since

this sucks. i just want a boyfriend and i want to marry him and have kids but i can’t stop thinking like this is just denial and i HATE IT

In in a relationship with a great dude now and i feel like this is completely destroying it. I love him and wanna spend my life with him but Bee brain is making it incredibly hard

I have the same worry that ive just been in denial and "ignoring the signs" which is freakin stupid but my brain doesnt discriminate i guess!!!

I sadly cant afford therapy. My job is so busy and is very bad about doing flexible schedules since im a keyholder. my insurance is so bad that i likely would be charged an amount that i dont have. Ive been trying self help books and working with this app to build a stable community. The only research i try to do is about therapy styles wrt ocd. The more i learn i make a little bit of progress. One of my biggest triggers is im afraid to look at women, so i just force myself to as an exposure and refuse to let myself "check". But its very hard. My bf and i do plan to get married and i plan on getting therapy asap once im on his insurance. Bc its essential i think.

i’m so sorry oh my god!:( everything will get better i promise. i know i probably sound like a hypocrite but just know that you literally aren’t alone in this and you have so many fucking people rooting for you!! i hope you get the therapy you need eventually because after that it will just be smooth sailing from there. if you ever need someone to talk to comment on one of my posts or something and i’ll get the notifications and i will talk with you!

Same Were going through the same thing so we can support one another. Thats what i like about this app. We can all help

exactly. that’s the good thing you can relate and really helps you not feel alone

Yup. Even just today. I had a good exposure, and i was in a good place then not 10 minutes later my mind was like "oh that customer you just interacted with for maybe a minute? You have a crush on them" And im like What who I dont even know this person

exactly. today was actually pretty good then i started rewatching gossip girl and i got the part where eric got exposed and came out and i just started like thinking. oh shit this is not happening. i just hate the way our brains can trick us

off topic but I am rewatching gossip girl right now too lol

But so I just gave in to my ocd and went and watched a bunch of videos on coming out and how people knew they were gay and I just had this awful breakdown because it is so scary and feels real my brain trying to trick me but how do I know

i get that i’ve done that way too many times to know that you’ll end up just getting fucked over in the end. the thing about ocd is that it keeps nagging at you and just keeps pushing you till you do a compulsion and then you’ll just end up getting more sad and stressed out. when i get these thoughts i’ve been starting to just not think about them. i know. sounds easy right? haha it’s actually very hard and i know it’s such a shitty things to deal with. i just think that once you stop giving your thoughts power over what you really know, then the anxiety starts to weaken because you’re not giving as much thought to it. i can’t tell you without it being reassurance but you can kinda tell. in my opinion hocd is thoughts you hate having and just keep piling up because your brain knows it causes you distress and pain. so that’s kinda why i just don’t think about it as much or try not to when i start having these thoughts or images because i know that we’ll be able to overcome this and we have so much time to live that i know everything will be okay. i hope this helps somewhat sorry that it kinda jumps around everywhere haha. but if you ever need to talk you can comment on one of my posts and i’ll get a notification and answer you as quick as i can:) remember. you have SOOOOO many people who relate and know what your going through so just always remember you’re not alone in these fucked up thoughts

Thank you so much. That means a lot. I plan to get over this and not let it bother me like it has

and always try and remember. these thoughts do not define you they’re just a shitty part of what comes with ocd. they get better i promise

i’ve tried and tried so hard. i’m not at a good point with my depression either it’s been getting worse and worse and this isn’t helping. i’m done with everything

i literally always google things. i try so hard not to because i know it’s not good but it gives me some relief then i’m just back with even more anxiety and i’m thinking maybe i actually am just denying who i am. but i laugh because IVE NEVER HAD ANY FEELINGS FOR A GIRL like where the fuck did this even come from??? i just sit and i’m like this can’t possibly be happening. i’m just so sick of everything i hate this and i hate that i think these things because it just takes over me.

i want to talk about it but people just don’t understand and i wish more people knew that this is an actual thing. i can’t stop crying and tonight i was really ready to just say i’m done. but i just need to talk to my therapist about it more and hopefully get to treatment right away

God i know Every time someone just blows it off or downplays it or acts like its some weird discovery thing im like youuuuu have noooooooo idea

exactly omgggg it’s so annoying isn’t it?! have you tried doing therapy for your hocd or tried medications? you don’t have to answer if it’s too personal but just trying to get an insite

hahahah i’ve watched GG like 4 times i love it so much