- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I went through this too, but what really helped is realizing I have a past too and my girlfriend as far as I know didn’t seem to care or get jealous about that. I also kept myself busy by in my alone time focusing on bettering myself so there’s nothing I should feel jealous about
- Date posted
- 4y
i feel you! i’ve been in this position
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel you… I used to do this a lot before I deleted all my social media. It’s a sickening feeling for sure. I always just remind myself that there is a reason my partner and I are together now, and the love we have can’t be overshadowed by anything from the past. My jealousy is all rooted in my not feeling like I am enough for him, which is rooted in my fear of abandonment. OCD loves this and uses it to its advantage. One thing I think about is would I have really wanted my fiancé to not have been with literally anyone else and be 27 years old (his age when we met)? No, of course not. Because my fiancé is interesting and has lived a life, he has a dating history. As I do as well. I am planning to do an exposure soon where I read a story about a man cheating on his current partner with an ex, and imagine it as my fiancé and his ex. It sounds like torture even just writing this now, but that type of exposure is really the best way to reduce the anxiety. Face your jealousy head on. Knock it on its back with exposures. You can do this! And so can I ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
What a great exposure exercise!!
- Date posted
- 4y
I also struggle with my bfs past relationships even though I’ve never met the people and my bf tells me he wishes he met me years ago. I still imagine what they did together and wonder if I’m really better than his exes. My compulsions were either to search the people or ask him endlessly about them and who was better sexually etc etc. don’t give into the compulsions they just feed the cycle. And if you have to cut off social media so you don’t have access to that stuff, that might help. If I had Facebook I would be in big trouble.
- Date posted
- 4y
Our compulsions are the exact same. You’re exactly right about not giving in. Keep up the good work! And yeah I need to delete FB lol
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Can anyone relate to this type of ROCD? It’s like i obsess of my partners past, I’ve spent probably 100 hours over the last 3 years asking him about girls he was with before me questioning him about every little detail and seeking reassurance. I don’t want to think about these girls at all. And I’ve been in ERP since August and was doing really good and not sure if it’s just getting bad again the last few days because of the holiday (Easter) and i had to go to his hometown where I know he had a past in and he recently brought a ring which I’m so excited about but it just seems like it’s getting harder for me and i don’t wanna be talking about girls he dated for a few months before me when we are about to get engaged. Am i ruining my future? What can I do to help and to not bring up stuff about the girls before me? How can I be in the moment and not relate everything to an irrelevant girl before me? Help
- Date posted
- 11w
I’m struggling a ton rn and would love some insight from people. My bf and I broke up bc my OCD got to the point where it was extremely damaging to my exes mental health. We’ve been on a break for the last 2 months while I get therapy and help and he wants to try again in August. We talk everyday and fall asleep on the phone but I’m miserable anxious about what he’s been doing during the break. My mind is flooded with the idea that he might follow new girls on Instagram or he flirting and talking to new girls. It’s KILLING me. I’ve made up an entire situation w no proof. And I’m scared it’s not my OCD talking but a gut feeling. I know we aren’t together but it’s not fair to emotionally invest in each other if he’s not being loyal like I am. I’m just losing my mind and need help honestly.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6w
I stated dating my boyfriend about 3 months ago. This is my first boyfriend ever. He’s been in 2 serious relationships in the past and multiple sexual partners. I’ve had neither. When we first started dating/ at one point were just friends, he told me a lot about the last girl he was in a relationship including their sex life. Fast forward to us dating for about a month and I found out he had been texting her. We almost broke up. But also for context she broke up with him because she figured out she was a lesbian. But still… anyways we moved past it. And now… I’m sure we can all see this coming… I have this theme! I think about his ex gf all the time. I stalk her on social media and try to find hints and clues about their relationship. I compare myself to her. It really impacts my relationship because I’ll get mad at him for no reason. For example we went thrifting recently and he picked out stuff that completely wasn’t my style, but was hers. Which made me spiral. Is he purposely dressing me like her? Does he want me to be someone else, someone like her? The whole texting her thing was put in the past. I’ve forgiven him. But I can’t help but have resentment towards him and think/ visualize all these thoughts about them together and how I’ll never measure up to that. It makes me think I shouldn’t have got into a relationship. That maybe I’m better off by myself. But like all of us. I wish I didn’t have these thoughts. I wish I could believe he liked me for me. But sometimes it’s really hard.
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