Today’s been frustrating as I actively chose to do compulsions/digging for like 3 hours. My obsessions are around my boyfriend’s past. One thing I shouldn’t do is go digging through social media trying to stalk everyone from his past. It all makes me feel sick even if it’s from a decade ago. I’m 29, know he’s my perfect match and we are very much in love, but the jealousy I feel over any female that had any type of relationship with him in the past is EXTREME. Today I haven’t gotten much work done because all I’ve done is scroll thru stupid social media stalking, and when I’m not doing that I’m still just unfocused AF. Trying to turn this day around, and my mood, before he gets home.

I went through this too, but what really helped is realizing I have a past too and my girlfriend as far as I know didn’t seem to care or get jealous about that. I also kept myself busy by in my alone time focusing on bettering myself so there’s nothing I should feel jealous about

i feel you! i’ve been in this position

I feel you… I used to do this a lot before I deleted all my social media. It’s a sickening feeling for sure. I always just remind myself that there is a reason my partner and I are together now, and the love we have can’t be overshadowed by anything from the past. My jealousy is all rooted in my not feeling like I am enough for him, which is rooted in my fear of abandonment. OCD loves this and uses it to its advantage. One thing I think about is would I have really wanted my fiancé to not have been with literally anyone else and be 27 years old (his age when we met)? No, of course not. Because my fiancé is interesting and has lived a life, he has a dating history. As I do as well. I am planning to do an exposure soon where I read a story about a man cheating on his current partner with an ex, and imagine it as my fiancé and his ex. It sounds like torture even just writing this now, but that type of exposure is really the best way to reduce the anxiety. Face your jealousy head on. Knock it on its back with exposures. You can do this! And so can I ❤️

I also struggle with my bfs past relationships even though I’ve never met the people and my bf tells me he wishes he met me years ago. I still imagine what they did together and wonder if I’m really better than his exes. My compulsions were either to search the people or ask him endlessly about them and who was better sexually etc etc. don’t give into the compulsions they just feed the cycle. And if you have to cut off social media so you don’t have access to that stuff, that might help. If I had Facebook I would be in big trouble.