P
- Date posted
- 7y
PineapplePineapple
- Date posted
- 7y
Where was she coming from when she said that? I’m not sure it’s really her place to decide if he’s the right person for you or not. It’s also important to realize that he is not the cause of your OCD. So even if you don’t end up staying in this relationship, it isn’t going to magically cure your OCD, either. I think it’s very important to be with someone who can be understanding and supportive to you... does she think he is not these things?
BrookenoelBrookenoel
- Date posted
- 7y
Is she an ocd specialist? Bc if not then I recommend seeing another one who specializes in erp
HaileyHailey
- Date posted
- 7y
Hm, I don’t think that’s her place to decide. Only the two of you could decide and know that. Take a deep breathe and maybe use this as practice of letting go fearful thoughts. Let them pass and accept uncertainty!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 7y
Oh wow. Unless he is doing something destructive toward you I don’t see where she can make that call.
AnxiousashleyAnxiousashley
- Date posted
- 7y
A year ago I was an inpatient at the Meadows psychiatric hospital in state College. A therapist there told me that I didn’t really love my husband. It pissed me off so bad. But a year later my hubby and I are still together and he is very supportive of my recovery. Don’t listen to everything you hear.
PP
- Date posted
- 7y
I’m thinking about ditching her as my therapist actually. I don’t like her style at all and she doesn’t feel supportive, empathic or collaborative in her approach with me. This isn’t the first time she’s commented about him and honestly - she doesn’t know us. I think it’s harsh even if she thought it were true a better approach might be to give me tools for improving things with him! I complain a lot but cmon!!!
Finny AnnFinny Ann
- Date posted
- 7y
why would she say that? it might have been an exposure and she wants you to habituate
PP
- Date posted
- 7y
She said that because she thinks he doesn’t empathize with my condition enough (he gets angry when I blow up his phone and lashes out sometimes) and we are in a LDR and he travels for work, which means he’s avoidant. I feel so awful!! Yes she’s an expert with ocd but I think her approach is not helping it’s just making me more upset! Even the erp exercises she’s giving me feel way too traumatic...
HaileyHailey
- Date posted
- 7y
@Anxiousashley that was one of my fears about starting therapy! I put it off for so long because of it. Such a horrible thing to say to someone, especially someone with OCD that might obsess over it. Ugh!
PP
- Date posted
- 7y
I’m just so beside myself. Yes the LDR and work travel are hard for my ocd but those are temp circumstances (he’s moving here and tapering off the work travel). And he’s working on trying to understand the ocd...
TabbykittycatTabbykittycat
- Date posted
- 7y
I kind of want to give her the benefit of the doubt and think that she was trying to expose you to ERP, but I think she should maybe have warned you before attempting exposure? Thats what mine does
BrookenoelBrookenoel
- Date posted
- 7y
I’d say your boyfriend is fine for you, and your therapist can’t empathize with him either bc she doesn’t understand why he’s feeling that way. I can understand that he gets angry and lashes out sometimes bc dating someone with ocd can cause stress on you and the other person. So I wouldn’t recommend listening to your therapist if she was serious. Next time you see her ask if that’s really what she thinks or if she was exposing you to your fears
PP
- Date posted
- 7y
She’s said it before so I am pretty sure it’s what she really thinks. She’s met him a couple times and thinks he needs therapy, we need to be in therapy together, he’s too self-absorbed, unempathetic and avoidant ??? which are all slightly true but I don’t think it’s as extreme as she’s making it out to be. She really thinks I’m so needy and shouldn’t be with him and yeah he can’t empathize with him (whereas I do, but then it sounds like I’m making excuses) ?
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- Date posted
- 22w
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- Date posted
- 17w
respond please
i went to therapy today and i told her about the lack of feeling i gave with my boyfriend, when we do anything, and all the anger i feel for no reason and she somehow told me im not sure i didnt understand it that , it dosent make sense that i want to love him but i dont feel love and i feel disgust when we kiss and thinngs and that i cant accept the truth????? like she is telling me i have lots of fear in me and im telling her im scared that i dont love him but this relationship is making me feel sad and uneassy when i want to be happy and calm bur i kept telling her all of this is bc of the thoughts and she told me that the thoughts are suppose to ease ar least when i am with him… i didnt tell my bf i wrnt to therapy bc he thinks they only want money, and that they can help me but i hav to help myself, and last time i went to therapy i wasnt feeling better and he is wondering how i wasnt feeling any better and that its strange to him to do “steps “ like this bc they only want money. And i left more confused and sad because she confirmed my fears somehow? i dont understand. im just scared i dont actually love him and that i only put high expectations on this relationship and i cant accept the truth. She told me , after i told her i always told people that these thoughts are not true bc they felt out of place, that we can say one thing and feel one thing and i felt like she was telling me again that these thoughts are real. I know im sad and miserable but i dont want to be like this, im scared that i iust matured and i simply dont love him
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 17w
going to therapy made it worse
I talked to my therapist about the emotional disconnection I feel in my relationship — how I often feel nothing when I’m with my boyfriend, how I feel irritated or even disgusted during intimate moments, and how all of this creates constant fear and sadness in me. I told her that I want to love him, that I used to feel more, and that I believe my thoughts and reactions are part of something deeper — like ROCD — not necessarily the truth. But she said something like, “It doesn’t make sense that you want to love him but don’t feel love,” and suggested that I might just be lying to myself and need to “accept the truth.” That crushed me. I kept explaining that these thoughts feel obsessive, that they don’t align with my values or how I see myself — that they’ve taken away my ability to feel joy or peace. And yet, I left with this terrible fear that maybe she’s right, that maybe I’m just in denial. She even told me that I have two choices: accept that I don’t love him and stay while lying to myself, or leave. And that… that made me feel like she was confirming my worst fear — not helping me explore it safely. I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lie to myself. I just want clarity, and peace, and the ability to feel again. I also didn’t tell my boyfriend about the session, because he’s skeptical of therapy — he thinks therapists just want money, and that I have to “help myself” if I want to feel better. I kind of get where he’s coming from, but it still makes me feel a little alone in this. I guess I’m posting here just to say… I feel really lost right now. I don’t know if what I’m experiencing is ROCD or just the truth I’m too scared to accept
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