I’m really upset. I just left a therapy session where my therapist said she doesn’t think my relationship with my bf will last or that he’s the right person for me ??? it’s very upsetting

Where was she coming from when she said that? I’m not sure it’s really her place to decide if he’s the right person for you or not. It’s also important to realize that he is not the cause of your OCD. So even if you don’t end up staying in this relationship, it isn’t going to magically cure your OCD, either. I think it’s very important to be with someone who can be understanding and supportive to you... does she think he is not these things?

Is she an ocd specialist? Bc if not then I recommend seeing another one who specializes in erp

Hm, I don’t think that’s her place to decide. Only the two of you could decide and know that. Take a deep breathe and maybe use this as practice of letting go fearful thoughts. Let them pass and accept uncertainty!

Oh wow. Unless he is doing something destructive toward you I don’t see where she can make that call.

A year ago I was an inpatient at the Meadows psychiatric hospital in state College. A therapist there told me that I didn’t really love my husband. It pissed me off so bad. But a year later my hubby and I are still together and he is very supportive of my recovery. Don’t listen to everything you hear.

I’m thinking about ditching her as my therapist actually. I don’t like her style at all and she doesn’t feel supportive, empathic or collaborative in her approach with me. This isn’t the first time she’s commented about him and honestly - she doesn’t know us. I think it’s harsh even if she thought it were true a better approach might be to give me tools for improving things with him! I complain a lot but cmon!!!

why would she say that? it might have been an exposure and she wants you to habituate

She said that because she thinks he doesn’t empathize with my condition enough (he gets angry when I blow up his phone and lashes out sometimes) and we are in a LDR and he travels for work, which means he’s avoidant. I feel so awful!! Yes she’s an expert with ocd but I think her approach is not helping it’s just making me more upset! Even the erp exercises she’s giving me feel way too traumatic...

@Anxiousashley that was one of my fears about starting therapy! I put it off for so long because of it. Such a horrible thing to say to someone, especially someone with OCD that might obsess over it. Ugh!

I’m just so beside myself. Yes the LDR and work travel are hard for my ocd but those are temp circumstances (he’s moving here and tapering off the work travel). And he’s working on trying to understand the ocd...

I kind of want to give her the benefit of the doubt and think that she was trying to expose you to ERP, but I think she should maybe have warned you before attempting exposure? Thats what mine does

I’d say your boyfriend is fine for you, and your therapist can’t empathize with him either bc she doesn’t understand why he’s feeling that way. I can understand that he gets angry and lashes out sometimes bc dating someone with ocd can cause stress on you and the other person. So I wouldn’t recommend listening to your therapist if she was serious. Next time you see her ask if that’s really what she thinks or if she was exposing you to your fears

She’s said it before so I am pretty sure it’s what she really thinks. She’s met him a couple times and thinks he needs therapy, we need to be in therapy together, he’s too self-absorbed, unempathetic and avoidant ??? which are all slightly true but I don’t think it’s as extreme as she’s making it out to be. She really thinks I’m so needy and shouldn’t be with him and yeah he can’t empathize with him (whereas I do, but then it sounds like I’m making excuses) ?