- Date posted
- 3y
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 20w
What ERP or other techniques do you use to combat fear of cancelation? Especially curious about those with taboo thoughts, false memory ocd and event ocd based off of real events where the fear of cancellation may actually hold some validity. I once did my own ERP not under a therapist but just on my own I decided to create an anonymous account on Twitter and defend a friend who was receiving online criticism. I knew that this would be semi-controversial so I was expecting backlash and when I recieved troll replies it actually seemed to be a really helpful low-stakes exposure activity. Is this something that others have done? Low stakes online posts etc. that you know will recieve negative responses? I have had severe OCD as a kid as pretty much every subtype under the sun, and as an adult I pretty much have all the types under control except for this real event and false memory and taboo thought OCD. It seems like a different beast since it's somewhat realistic in the camcellation culture today, and it's confusing to address. Ive shut down almost all social accounts and it's keeping me from progressing in a career where I need to have an online presence :/
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m starting NOCD. I had several years of cbt as a child (well over 20 years ago) and I see a trauma therapist. But now I’ll be seeking further help for OCD and just really scared. CBT wasn’t helpful for me. How has ERP been helpful for you? Do you feel like you’ll finally get your life back? I’m consumed by my obsessions 😢 Would love others feedback if ERP helped you ❤️
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