This is a repeating pattern. I’ll have an intrusive thought, always about the past whether that be a few minutes or a few years. I become extremely anxious. I start furiously trying to disprove it. It can’t be true coz of this, it can’t be true,if it was I wouldn’t be doubting it as ocd etc etc. Then feels very very real due to doing self reassurance. Try to carry on with normal stuff but constantly feeling like there’s something important that I’m ignoring and should be paying attention to. To make matters worse the thoughts are always about my wonderful husband so there’s always the temptation to ask him for reassurance as he’s the only one who can reassure me on these thoughts. That’s not fair on him, he doesn’t deserve it. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Anyone recovered from this? People advise living with uncertainty but when it’s about the love of your life that’s very very hard.

Yes, I have it, and yes you can recover. Don’t seek assurance. It never works, at least not for long. OCD does not respond to logic either, you cannot rationalize it away. If we could, none of us would be here! You have to sit with the discomfort and the uncertainly. I have numerous themes of OCD but have managed to live with it, at a very tolerable level, successfully and happily. I’ve had periods of remission lasting years. And I’ve had times so bad that I thought nothing would ever be the same. The reality is that we change, we envolve. We grow. We can’t go back, so we have to go forward. You can take this bad thing, and these bad thoughts, and with work and patience you can use it to become stronger. I’m a firm believer that if you can handle OCD (any subtype), you can handle anything. Real-event OCD included in this. Listen to your counselor, trust the program, allow yourself to get comfortable being uncomfortable. You don’t need the assurance, and there’s nothing to prove. Your husband should be there, good times and bad to help you, but you are right. He’s not a tool for reassurance. I think it’s important to tell my wife when I’m not feeling well with OCD, but I force myself not to seek assurance from her. I don’t want her to think there’s an external problem, but I am cautious not to use her as a source of assurance. ERP is the answer for certain. You can do this.

I was trying to find someone with this issue!!!!! All the thoughts I get are about my amazing wonderful boyfriend. Whether that be on the imperfections he has which makes my ocd make me think he's not attractive, the fact that I could leave him in the future, hurting him....it's so overwhelming and hard. He's the only one who can reassure me on these. I always have the urge to tell him these and I know I shouldn't since it's a compulsion. It's so so so hard especially when it's OCD's fault...cause I can't just flat out tell him him imperfections out of nowhere just because ocd made me think that. That would make him feel bad cause he has some self esteem issues. Gah it's so so hard to deal with these thought I cry so much thinking about them

Definitely don’t use him for reassurance. It only helps at first and later does nothing. ERP is the only way to go. Always resist that compulsion. You can do it

Thank you both so much for your replies. It’s so comforting knowing that there are others that truly understand. I would gladly swap my “theme” for another type of ocd. My husband is such a good man and yet I get so upset by these thoughts and images. He understands ocd, as I’ve learnt all about it he’s learnt too but he insists that if I truly trusted him ( I do) that I wouldn’t allow these thoughts to consume me but it feels like I have no choice. We both know that reassurance isn’t the answer but the desire to get it just overwhelms me at times. At the moment I’m having to sit with feeling constantly like I’m burying my head in the sand and ignoring something important. I just keep wanting to tell him this thought and have him reassurance me that it’s all rubbish and just ocd lies. In reality I know that’s a temporary solution that will perpetuate the problem. And it’s not helping his mental health either. It’s so unfair on him. I’m in UK and had CBT therapy some time ago which hasn’t really helped, just helped me understand what’s going on. Can I ask how you have applied ERP to this theme. I don’t think I could do the “ maybe it’s true” thing, I’d start to believe it even more!