- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Mine is a bit of a different presentation. It is somewhat episodic or it waxes and wanes. I had my first episode when I was 7 and convinced that I was contaminated with poison and that I subsequently was going to die and kill all of my family. That lasted for a few months until my avoidance behaviors stopped. I didn’t have another episode until I was 12 and became convinced that I was possessed by a demon and going to kill my family. That one was really intense but lasted a shorter period of time. Then I experienced mild levels of depression and significant generalized anxiety throughout high school until I had a terrible episode of ROCD after a traumatic experience when I was 18. Since then I have had significantly higher levels of anxiety with some compulsive behaviors and avoidance and also have been going to therapy. It wasn’t until two years later after that I was diagnosed by my psychologist with OCD (which was just a month ago) as I had a bad episode this summer that incapacitated me for a while and I’m working through at the moment but I am doing better at the moment. I wish you all of the best with your journey!!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I cant imagine having to deal with such a difficult OCD thought at just the age of 7. I respect your resilience and hope that you're able to overcome OCD in the future. Best of Luck!
- Date posted
- 3y
My OCD was subclinical as a child. My OCD at that time was contamination based. I think my parents had chalked it up to being a personality thing or me being sensitive, but as a child I genuinely remember being afraid of getting contaminated by germs and dirt. Cleaning my room was a nightmare and I would often feel tingly after cleaning. Like I would legitimately feel like I was contaminated and I would have to wash until the tingles went away. My OCD didn’t become clinical until I was 14 though. That’s when I got SO OCD and it was very severe. At 15 I started having general sexual OCD. 16 I got scrupulousity and real event. Now, 19 going on 20, I just struggle with all of them except contamination. When I was 15, I saw someone who was completely unqualified in diagnosing and treating OCD. They dismissed me and didn’t give me help, but I ended up going back to them during my senior year of high school. I had begged my mom to let me see an OCD specialist but she refused to believe me so she took me back to someone who couldn’t even treat me. They did talk therapy which doesn’t help OCD. I did get medication, but I really needed therapy. I like to think ages 16-17 I had mild-moderate OCD. At age 18, it became severe again. I ended up having to get my own therapist through NOCD after my spike. I was doing well, but recently I’ve been doing bad again. Between being in college, dealing with family problems, having complications with medication, and now only doing therapy once a month, it’s been horrible. Two months ago my OCD would’ve been mild maybe even subclinical. Now it’s moderate.
- Date posted
- 3y
Argh Its always so saddening to hear to someone deal with Incompetent therapists. Im so sorry that you had to go through that, without the support of a parent nonetheless . Balancing this situation is commendable, I actually dropped out. I hope that what your experiencing is the worst of it and that nothing but tranquility awaits you. P.S Ponyo is an amazing movie
- Date posted
- 3y
Mine started when I was around 8. I was so scared because I had awful thoughts about stabbing myself, my parents, or even strangling my baby brother. I also worried about calling my dad swear words that randomly came to my mind. I had no idea it was OCS. Many years later, I got a boyfriend. Everything was perfect and amazing and I couldn't believe how lucky I was to find such an amazing guy who fit me perfectly. A few weeks into my relationship, all hell broke loose. I started worrying about everything. That I was gonna hurt him, murder him, or leave him....just like the thoughts I've had as a little eight year old. I started doing more research, panicking on if I was going insane. Then I found out about hard ocd and relationship ocd. It escalated super quickly from 0-a million in a span of days and started affecting my daily life. More ocd themes popped up like sexual ocd, sexual orientation ocd, and a few more. After a few weeks of constant thoughts and stress and anxiety, I got officially diagnosed with ocd of many different themes at an OCD center. Thankfully, my boyfriend understands my condition and doesn't get mad or anything with stuff I think. He's so understanding and he tries his best to help support me as I try and get through this tough time. I'm gonna get ERP soon hopefully so this nightmare can be over!!
- Date posted
- 3y
*OCD *harm
- Date posted
- 3y
My story is kind of complicated. I had my first intrusive thought at the age of 8. There are some themes that I have had for many years. Some last for weeks or even months. I am 45 years. Up until about 3 months ago, OCD wasn't even on my radar. I thought OCD was just handwashing and being neat and organized. I never had either. But in July, I heard a podcast. The host was interviewing a woman who has OCD. I was shocked to realize that I had many of the same thoughts as the guest. I threw myself into researching OCD to convince myself I didn't have it. But it had the opposite effect. Once, I knew what to look for, I recognized various themes over the course of my life. But I started to doubt I really had it. So much so that when I had my 90 min assessment, I was convinced my counselor would tell me I didn't meet the criteria for OCD. Instead, I got a diagnosis. I threw myself into ERP. I made rapid progress. Honestly, ERP is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Some of the exposures I did were brutal. But it works. I am well on my way to recovery. My OCD is starting to fade into the background. My only regret is not starting treatment sooner. But I believed everyone struggled the way I did. I had no idea that what I was experiencing wasn't normal. Just prior to starting treatment, I was at a very low point. I felt hopeless and like nothing would ever change. Before I knew I had OCD, I did about 10 years of talk therapy. I would go weekly for up to 2 years. I never made any progress. I did everything I was supposed. I would eventually get frustrated and quit. Even switching counselors didn't help. I felt worse at the end than I did at the beginning. Its like I was trying to put together a puzzle. But a lot of the pieces were missing. I had a few pieces that kind of fit together. Once I added the OCD pieces, everything started clicking and the puzzle was finally completely. It looked completely different than I thought it would. But it all fit together. I have made more progress in 3 months with my NOCD therapist than I did in years of regular therapy. Its amazing the difference applying the correct treatment to the correct problem can make.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
It kinda mind boggling to me how OCD can even cause stuff to happen to us physically as well. And it all feeling real. It only reminds me how flawed our bodies really are. If people were to hear of our situations they'd call us names and choose to stay ignorant. People fear what they cannot understand. Before this I could have possible have been one of them, but here I am. OCD really goes for anybody. Does not matter what ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation you are. It is a twisted disorder that likes to make others lives harder. If I were to tell myself before this that this would happen, I would'nt believe it. I was convinced I am evil, I cried for weeks. I had to sleep in my parents bedroom for a period of time cause I couldn't face the darkness alone. This application helped me greatly during this, cause I learned just as much about OCD as I did about myself. At the same time I get saddened cause I see people going through the exact same, or much worse. If any who come across this post have any questions for me, u can feel free to do so
- Date posted
- 21w
Hi, I’m new to the app as of today. I’m 20 years old, and wanted to get some stuff off my chest about the types of OCD I’ve been experiencing over the years. I’m not entirely sure how or when my OCD was brought up, but I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Anywhere and everywhere I go, if I see things placed in an order/angle that my brain doesn’t approve of, next thing I know I’m “fixing” it to be in the placement I feel looks better. I’m not aware of why I feel the need to do that, but until an object is in the “right” placement, I won’t take my eyes off of it. My eye will even twitch. Another form of OCD I have is in relationships. I spend each day overthinking and over-analyzing every one of the relationships that are important to me. Friends, family, significant other. Another one is what’s considered “Pure OCD” . When I get an intrusive thought of something devilish, whether it’s randomly seeing my great aunt naked bc my grandma considers her “fat” even though she’s not, or it’s seeing something demonic and traumatizing, I immediately tell myself, “I don’t wanna see/think about that” over and over and over until the thought is gone. Or I’ll try to replace one mental image with another. One other form of OCD I face every day, is religion. I got baptized for the first time in my life earlier this year in January. I had finally started to repent for my sins, and now I’m constantly feeling afraid that I’m letting God down due to my depression/lack of motivation and vaping/smoking. I also fear excessively that He’ll banish me from His kingdom, or just turn a cold shoulder. I know that what I’ve just typed up is probably all over the place. That is my brain unfortunately. How do you go from being a mentally disorderly and seemingly erratic young woman, to a more well-established, successful woman? I’m all ears!
- Date posted
- 19w
Hiii! This is my first post. I found NOCD through a tiktok ad that spoke to me. It was titled signs you didnt know were OCD or something like that, and one of the slides was “checking my pulse throughout the day to make sure i was okay”. This is something ive done for i dont even know how long. atleast 10 years, im 24 now. Ive always known Ive had OCD. Light Sanitation OCD runs in my family. But over the years ive started to realize i had way more than the “family trait”. Checking my pulse 40+ times a day is something i refer to as my “OCD tick”. Its to the point where people who dont know about my “tick” often ask if i am okay when they see me do it. Maybe this post is me putting it on paper for the first time so i myself can analyze but some other stuff i struggle with are: Often having thoughts of if i dont do A, B will happen. An example that is common for me is “if i dont refold this shirt me and my boyfriend will get into an argument” or if im out to dinner with a friend, “if i dont pick up this cup and place it back down, i will get into a car accident on the way home”. This is one i struggle with almost everyday, especially when im around people (work or outings). This compulsion happens multiple times a day. Now in my life i try to practice exposure therapy, even getting annoyed i feel the compulsion and think to myself “oh my god this is so stupid no!” but if i dont follow through i feel guilty. often when i get my next compulsion shortly after i tell myself “okay doing this will make up for not doing the previous one”. I definitely dont have a number based OCD, but i would have to pick up and put down the cup until it feels “right” or “correct”- same with checking my pulse. I have to check my pulse until the feeling is “just right”. With sanitation as i said before, i have a very clean and sanitary family, although mine is more severe than their feelings. I avoid touching certain surfaces after i have washed my hands, such as the front door knob, or living room tv remote, etc. If i need to touch or use these things, i have to immediately wash my hands again. Even if someone comes home and asks me to go and lock the front door ill often respond with “i cant i just washed my hands, if i lock the door ill have to rewash my hands”. thankfully my family is very understanding. I often feel like certain things are contaminated. For example when i come home i sanitize my phone immediately as it is contaminated from being outside of my house. I often have a feeling of something having to feel “just right”. If i go out to dinner i have to be the first to pick what seat or side of the booth im sitting on before the rest of my family sits down or i will feel anxious the whole dinner. Sometimes when im typing i have to back space and retype the same word over and over until i feel i typed it “just right”- even if i didnt make a typo. sometimes when i am driving and space out i often think “oh my god did i just hit someone” when there is no evidence that i have. it worries me. I think oh my god i mightve done a hit and run. But tell myself it can not be possible, theres no police chasing me, no honking, or anything. It is scary. this one is very rare. once in a blue moon i get a false memory. A main one ive felt since i was a kid is if someone or some object touches any part of my body, for example my left arm, i have to have them or atleast my self touch my right arm in the exact same way or i feel uneasy. this isnt with every single touch, but mainly when i feel triggered- although i never know what triggers a moment where i need the symmetry. I guess ive always known, i am very honest with my family, friends, and boyfriend about it. But i didnt start to realize how neurodivergent i was until asking some friends “you never randomly feel *insert compulsion*?” and they say never in their life have they felt like that. Im very self aware and have come to an acceptance with all these things, although it is debilitating. Periodically i think, wow it must be nice to not live life with these feelings but oh well. To be honest, downloading this app is the first step ive ever taken to find out more about OCD. Ive always kind of just been like “yeah i definitely have OCD but okay” more or less.
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