So I’m in a committed relationship to which is all great. But I’m attracted to this person I work with and have a little crush and every time I talk to him I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I would never ever cheat on my boyfriend but I looked it up and the internet made be freak out that I am emotionally cheating. I know I don’t want to be with this guy. And now I’m obsessing over it and feel guilty.

This might sound weird but for a long time growing up I never though I was attractive or pretty. Many of my friends dated and I didn’t until college so I felt like I wasn’t pretty enough. Now I’m 22 and I’m just out of college so I like when really attractive guys find me pretty. I know it sounds weird. So in a way I like when I get looked at or complimented cause I never had that for years. But then I feel guilty about feeling that way

It’s been a struggle. Tbh idek if it’s a crush or just anxiety that’s making me think I have a crush on that person lol. I guess it helps to realize if your in a long term committed relationship at some point you are going to notice other people’s beauty/attractiveness especially since you’ve been with them for so long. Crushes/finding others attractive is totally normal because we’re human. But since anxiety/OCD creeps onto these emotions it will cause the unwanted thoughts and make a huge mess over something so natural and innocent. I’ve been trying to accept the thoughts “maybe or maybe not” to practice uncertainty when they pop up & just spending more time with my bf & trying to grow our relationship

Trying to push the thoughts away def only makes it worse though that’s for sure & def avoid googling at all costs because I googled any question you could think of under the sun & had multiple panic attacks that made the entire situation worse

literally same we are the same person haha I’m 22 and didn’t start dating until my current boyfriend (I was 19). I think a lot of this stems from getting attention too because I was never liked in high school that way either.

I feel like I have to confess something to my boyfriend but I didn’t even do anything

Well I actually met a new guy yesterday at a smoothie place (cashier) and he was talking to me for a while and I latched onto it again :/, like obsessively thinking about him

Same !!!! LITERALLY SAME. It’s so annoying Bc I’m with the best bf ever and wouldn’t ever cheat but yet I have this other person in my head that won’t go away bc I’m so bothered and anxious about it & get the thoughts like “u want to be with them” “u like them” “u need to leave ur bf” etc and it’s so frustrating

How do u handle it

I've been having this same problem!!! I've started a new job and there are so many attractive men there. One of them was just decently nice to me cause it was my bday and I felt so infatuated that day. I felt terrible. I was on my period and cried all over my bf, but I didn't tell him about the guys at work. I didn't start dating til I was 20 and have had a low self esteem. So I strongly relate to you. You are not alone at all.

Do you feel that when an attractive guy likes you or even thinks you’re pretty, you instantly obsess over them? That’s how I get. I can’t stop thinking about it

Yes I’ve always enjoyed attention and people liking me for me but the minute someone shows any interest in me I freak out and obsess over it like I did something or said something wrong to make them think I like them that way and my brain creates so many what if questions I basically drive myself insane

so now I get anxiety when literally any guy talks to me Bc I think I’m going to develop feelings for them when the feelings are just a result of the anxiety

Hey, how is everything going for you with this obsession ?

Hey! Honestly better than I have been haha, I still get the same thoughts but I’ve tried to stop my compulsions. The rumination seems impossible for me to get rid of though once I start obsessing. Hbu??