- Username
- zoed
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Feel you! I even question my own love for my partner... and I'm always feeling guilty for even thinking about that! But trust me, keep asking for reassurance; makes only things worse! For you is an hour of peace, but you are putting doubts in your partner... at least that happened to me! At the end; the boy that I loved break up with me because I was too scared to loose him... now I found another guy; wich is even better; and I'm trying so hard to change the ending!! Didn't meant to judge you or anything, just telling my experience. Maybe for you can be different! Hope so!
Thank you for the response! I know i am harming my relationship but i hope my husband will always try to understand and stand by me... hope he won't leave me as we have a love based marriege and have been through many difficulties...
I’ve just had a long discussion with my partner after a huge argument caused by this exact thing. I doubted him and it made him really angry to the extend of blocking. Seeing that this is a pattern for me, i’m going to try going cold turkey on all reassurance seeking behaviours, become aware of all my triggers so I know in advance and can prepare for it when they come (because trust me, they are always gonna exist until you heal) and i’m going to put full blind faith in him. Ask yourself this question, Would you rather live with the regret that you pushed him away with your doubts? Really think hard about this, imagine your life without him, him leaving you because he couldn’t take your mistrust any longer. Would you be able to live with yourself? Would that regret ever go away? Now to the next scenario...orr, would you rather live with the regret of putting full blind faith and trust in him, and have him cheat on you. Knowing full well that you did nothing wrong and it was him who cheated. In both of these scenarios, full trust or no trust, he can still cheat. So basically both of these scenarios he can still cheat if he wants, no amount of protection or amount of trust will determine that. Therefore, which regret would you rather have? For me it’s definitely option 2. I’d much rather lose him by fully trusting, than lose him by my own lack of trust. Hope this helped, it really helped me
You are right in what you say but even if I try hard i still do the same rituals even though i know they won't really help me. For the time being i don't ask always for reassurance but i ruminate a lot in my mind and feel insecure. I definitely know that it's better to trust fully someone than be afraid and doubt. I hope i will make it stop wondering and being afraid... totally rumination and reassurance are not the solution.
We can help each other since we both have the same thing
Can I talk with you guys too? I understand what do I do wrong, but still don't know how to fix it :(
Do you want to talk somewhere else where maybe I can try help you daily, especially when you’re having tough days?
I’m thinking a whatsapp group will suffice
I don't have WhatsApp and really not very comfortable with internet and apps! Is there any other way??
we can create a community
It’s hard to do it on this app, if you could create groups on it I would
Maby because it could be a little dangerous... for example I shouldn't complain about my doubts; or they could get worse! But I can't help it! At least; i'm not doing with my half!🤩
@zoed, what would you be comfortable using?
Today I tried to resist compulsions and stay as calm as I can but then Rocd attacked me again in a massive way. I kind of feel like my mind is foggy and messed up.most of the time so get triggered seems easy. Every little thing I hear and seems suspicious I will overanalyze it for hours because I am so afraid of being betrayed, dumped or someone do something bad behind my back. These thoughts have stuck inside my mind in such a level where my days are spent like that. When I get an intrusive thought it feels so catastrophic and horrible that I feel I can't do anything. I am stuck there thinking and analysing. It is so difficult to handle it, I feel so scared and alone in this...
I think I have relationship OCD. I will be doing great with my boyfriend then out of no where I get this intrusive thought that he thinks other people are attractive and has a wandering eye for others and I need reassurance immediately. And when he gives me reassurance, I think he’s lying. After like an hour of back and forth repetitive conversation I feel better, then the next day it happens again. Every. Single. Day. I freak out and blow up and need reassurance. I can’t tell if I’m getting these thoughts because they are true or because I’ve been with someone in the past who has cheated on me so I believe that all people get these thoughts. I’m so ready for a cure. Does anyone know what to do? I don’t want to live with this
I feel like i should have figured this out by now... but everyday it seems something new. My partner will do something triggering and i will question everything. I feel bad bc he realizes and sees that i am nervous. Should i tell him? I kind of already have, ive told him about my ocd, but idk if he knows what i actually go through. He always says im his perfect girl, he will not let me go, etc. Im afraid he is lying and doesnt actually feel that way, and i am also afraid that bc he is so sexually into me that it means thats all he wants... its so hard to trust him.. i also get triggered bc sometimes our conversations are minimal and idk what to say to him. Im tired all the time.. but sometimes we have great conversations and it feels natural and normal. Idk what to do. I know yesterday i sat with the uncertainty that he was lying and it helped. But everyday it just gets re triggered. Its so hard
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