- Username
- zoed
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Feel you! I even question my own love for my partner... and I'm always feeling guilty for even thinking about that! But trust me, keep asking for reassurance; makes only things worse! For you is an hour of peace, but you are putting doubts in your partner... at least that happened to me! At the end; the boy that I loved break up with me because I was too scared to loose him... now I found another guy; wich is even better; and I'm trying so hard to change the ending!! Didn't meant to judge you or anything, just telling my experience. Maybe for you can be different! Hope so!
Thank you for the response! I know i am harming my relationship but i hope my husband will always try to understand and stand by me... hope he won't leave me as we have a love based marriege and have been through many difficulties...
I’ve just had a long discussion with my partner after a huge argument caused by this exact thing. I doubted him and it made him really angry to the extend of blocking. Seeing that this is a pattern for me, i’m going to try going cold turkey on all reassurance seeking behaviours, become aware of all my triggers so I know in advance and can prepare for it when they come (because trust me, they are always gonna exist until you heal) and i’m going to put full blind faith in him. Ask yourself this question, Would you rather live with the regret that you pushed him away with your doubts? Really think hard about this, imagine your life without him, him leaving you because he couldn’t take your mistrust any longer. Would you be able to live with yourself? Would that regret ever go away? Now to the next scenario...orr, would you rather live with the regret of putting full blind faith and trust in him, and have him cheat on you. Knowing full well that you did nothing wrong and it was him who cheated. In both of these scenarios, full trust or no trust, he can still cheat. So basically both of these scenarios he can still cheat if he wants, no amount of protection or amount of trust will determine that. Therefore, which regret would you rather have? For me it’s definitely option 2. I’d much rather lose him by fully trusting, than lose him by my own lack of trust. Hope this helped, it really helped me
You are right in what you say but even if I try hard i still do the same rituals even though i know they won't really help me. For the time being i don't ask always for reassurance but i ruminate a lot in my mind and feel insecure. I definitely know that it's better to trust fully someone than be afraid and doubt. I hope i will make it stop wondering and being afraid... totally rumination and reassurance are not the solution.
We can help each other since we both have the same thing
Can I talk with you guys too? I understand what do I do wrong, but still don't know how to fix it :(
Do you want to talk somewhere else where maybe I can try help you daily, especially when you’re having tough days?
I’m thinking a whatsapp group will suffice
I don't have WhatsApp and really not very comfortable with internet and apps! Is there any other way??
we can create a community
It’s hard to do it on this app, if you could create groups on it I would
Maby because it could be a little dangerous... for example I shouldn't complain about my doubts; or they could get worse! But I can't help it! At least; i'm not doing with my half!🤩
@zoed, what would you be comfortable using?
People who have experienced ROCD- I had a rough day yesterday with my boyfriend due to acting on some compulsions. My compulsion is to seek reassurance. It was just not a good night because he was getting impatient, I was getting sensitive.. just not good. Anyway, we’re good now, but I just feel uneasy. My OCD always continues because after I complete a compulsion, I feel guilty and then I get more irrational thoughts that my boyfriend will leave me... thus I seek more reassurance. How do I get out of this insecure space in my head WITHOUT seeking reassurance again? Does this last a long time?
Today I tried to resist compulsions and stay as calm as I can but then Rocd attacked me again in a massive way. I kind of feel like my mind is foggy and messed up.most of the time so get triggered seems easy. Every little thing I hear and seems suspicious I will overanalyze it for hours because I am so afraid of being betrayed, dumped or someone do something bad behind my back. These thoughts have stuck inside my mind in such a level where my days are spent like that. When I get an intrusive thought it feels so catastrophic and horrible that I feel I can't do anything. I am stuck there thinking and analysing. It is so difficult to handle it, I feel so scared and alone in this...
Hi. I wake up very anxious, i feel disconnected from the world so now i know it’s not only from my bf so it kind of calms me down to know it’s not him, but i also feel so convinced i want it to stop, im scared i dont want to break up, but it feels like it’s going to happen, or that is time because its been 2 yrs. Please help, how can i manage this when i feel disturbed and very convinced like we not connected, and many more things that are hard for me like intimacy, im always in my head. Please any advice
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