- Username
- Brave through
- Date posted
- 3y ago
So, the advice I can give you from this post is that this sounds like a lot of rumination. You're trying to solve the anxiety and find answers into why you are having these thoughts. What if the thoughts are just meaningless? Why do you need answers in your sexuality? Maybe you do like girls or guys or whoever. You just don't know and society has put it in your head that you have to have an answer. luckily you don't! you don't have to know. i would give acceptance that you will date who you want to. write worst case scenarios: what if you went out on a date with a guy and realized you like women. what if you went on a date with a woman and realized it wasn't what you wanted. how bad would the anxiety really be in these cases? maybe even watch movies involving people questioning their sexuality, or write down what you think it would be like to "come out" to your parents. you need to lean into the anxiety that these thoughts are causing instead of solving it.
Everything said makes sense but my mind still questions as to why all the probabilities you just stated feel like if that’s supposed to happen i should know about it?!? Do i ?!? And just not accept it….
With these thoughts i always feel so numb like idk how to explain its like I don’t even question their origin which I don’t understand people are so okay with all this and but then why am i stuck in this vicious cycle where now guys I actually liked and wanted something to do with i have lost my attraction for them also and treat that as a proof.
@Brave through Compulsions will always try to win. You need to remind yourself that when they try to, that you know intuitively that you can handle the obsessions and they are meaningless.
But the constant questioning as to are they really meaningless? I get flashes here and there what does that mean for both the genders but i can never make sense of the same one and then i notice guys but then if i also notice guys the way i notice girls and these flashes are they a part of some hidden desire that I don’t understand or is it actually ocd doing this to me i don’t understand….
I see you’re coming back to find answers hours later after posting. This is a compulsion. You are still trying to find answers within your thoughts. You can sit with the anxiety and not ruminate on the subject. You got this!
I am dealing with transgender OCD and I can relate to a lot of this. Checking/testing your emotional or physical responses, scanning your past for "evidence," "what if" ruminations, these are classic compulsions. I've been having some trouble the last few days giving in to them. I am going to try to recommit with sitting with the uncertainty. Also, the feeling that you are using OCD to "cover up" or "deny" something is very common with both SO-OCD and TOCD I think. I just want to let you know that you are not alone.
Thankyou this means a lot:)) all of this is hard and torturous and to have people who understand is a blessing in the hard times
The second part is similar to something that happened to me and actually was the start of my SOOCD
The second part?!?
Could you explain what are you talking about ?and explain better
@Brave through #2 you said a friend mentioned you not having a boyfriend and that it must mean you’re a lesbian as a joke. The same thing happened to me but it was what started my SOCOD
@cc97 *SOOCD
@cc97 Yeah I understand mine started after i watched a show and then because i had experiences i was like what if it is like that
@cc97 I don’t know what to do and can’t help but feel i am the only person who is suffering through all this and going through all of it
@Brave through I wish I could help but I’m currently struggling too. Just know you’re not alone even if it feels like you’re the only one dealing or experiencing these things
@cc97 I appreciate it thankyou 🥺
@Brave through also OCD will find any way to convince u that it isnt OCD. It will use everything and everything against you
@cc97 I know when people tell me all this i feel there hope even if its for that one mili second i do and that feeling is nice before i am thrown back to feeling all things again
@Brave through Yes I agree
@cc97 Just reading your comment made me feel good for one second before i start doubting it okay what if its not that altogether what if its you and its always been like this what if it isn’t ocd cause it feels so real and all of that its a vicious cycle i am tired and i want to get better
Ok... I was doing good until a few weeks ago. I really was making a lot of progress until a few weeks ago. Backdoor spikes turned up and ocd came back with full force. Or at least I think it's ocd... I hope it is. My theme is hocd, by the way. I try to not give the thoughts much attention, but they're making me mad. It feels so real, and when I see coming out stories it just adds up, as if I should come out too. It terrifies me, every day I think about wanting to die, to not wake up, to cease existing. It's been so draining, and so lonely. I don't want to be in the closet, I don't want to have romantic relationships with women. And ocd makes me question why that: because of my morals? What if your sexuality goes deeper than your morals and you're just denying you like women? Maybe you should try it out, you'd like it. This scares me so. much. And the thing is: I watch same sex porn. It turns me on. I've seen on the internet many women actually watch same sex porn, but ocd makes me question if my case isn't different from other women. All the time I'm worried that I'll just lose control and kiss any woman that's by my side. I haven't had any experience with men either, as I'm reserved and a hopeless romantic (high expectations). I've liked men before, though, and I still have many crushes today. Ocd tries to convince me this is just a cover up. This is just destroying my life. This is daily torture, I can't imagine myself living with this forever. What am I supposed to tell my eventual boyfriend, my husband? How am I supposed to have children in this state of mind? What if some day I just snap out of this and actually realize I'm gay? What if this question is actually me already admitting that I am in fact gay? Honestly, it's too much. This was quite hard to write, and I tried to include here as much as possible of my insecurities. If you read till here I'm grateful. Just wanted to say that I DON'T have anything against gay people, even though they're making me very anxious since this all started, which adds up to my endless collection of intrusive thoughts (it makes me think I'm in denial because of some prejudice).
Hi guys, I hope you're all doing well! I have a question to ask you! I have had SOOCD for a pretty long time now. So when I compare it to how it first started I rememeber that I was like " this is not me" or "what is this", I could'nt even imagine myself in a sexual situation with a women without saying "not for me no way" and everytime I used to see lgbtq+ couples on social media I used to get soo triggered and just scroll down. However fast forward 6 years, the thoughts bother me less, its like I actually like them, if I imagine any scenarios it feels "real" and I volontarly look up lgbtq+ couples which gives me a sense of peace? ( my therapist said that it was a complusion and a way of telling myself if it ever happens I'll be okay but im not so sure of her analysis). Looking at what I just wrote, I know that some of you are gonna say its the backdoor spike etc... but it just feel like I was in denial and year after year Im finally "accepting my true self?". Which scares me a lot because im in a relationship with my bf of 6 years whom I love ( as a friend or as a bf? idk at this point) and I dont want to throw everything away!!! or if I dont, Im sacred to realise in 3 years that Im actually into girls and have wasted 9 years of this guy's life juste because I was "scared". I dont know if any of you have had this for soo long to get to this point.... It doesnt help that I saw a tiktok of a bi girl saying that when she used to date guys she was in total control of her emotions and it was nice and confortable, but when she started dating girls she literally felt "honored to be able to share her life with her gf and to touch her and to be with her and can't believe that her gf chose her and just feels like she literrally cant breath around her from the love she feels". totally triggered.
Is there anyone here who has struggled with SO-OCD for a very long time? or as long as they could remember? I see a lot of post of people saying "yes, I always knew I was straight and it came suddently out of nowhere" or "yes I was always boy crazy and one morning I woke up and had these thoughts". However, I have had these thoughts for as long as I could remembrer (maybe since I was 8 or 10 years old) and I am 26 today! Which makes me feel like 1) my OCD is fake and its just denial and I'm just too afraid 2) I feel so alone. My therapist actually dignosed me with SOOCD 6 years ago but I just always feel like there is something not right... I also have been with my bf for 6 years and I love him but again it always felt like something was missing... and at the same time I cant imagine life without him and I love cuddling/being close to him... I know that there are a lot of people on the spectrum, I'm just scared that I'm living a lie and will deceive everyone and will come out later in life (like Sophia Bush or Chrishell Stause) when I have kids and I'm gonna ruin everyone's life... Like my mind is telling me now is better than after, come on do it!
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