it sounds like an obsession but also could be an anxiety disorder since they’re really similar. (i’m not a licensed professional tho)
I believe you have to learn to love yourself . I use to do the same thing . I always compared myself and looked down on myself because I constantly compared and didn’t truly love myself . You have to build your self esteem and get validation from your self . Self worth and self love is so important . A lot of people I know love themselves , so they’re not dealing with this matter . Everyone is different . Love yourself , take care of yourself and believe in yourself !
I think a lot of my feeling "off" around other people growing up was OCD-related, but now my OCD grabs on to it and tries to say it's because I was "really" a trans woman among cis men.
yeah mine does the same but makes me feel like i’m really a trans man instead of a cis woman
I have felt, the exact. Same. Way. I swear this could be word for word what I just yesterday discussed with my therapist(I’m also dealing with transocd, and always kind of felt like I didn’t fit in either). I definitely recommend bringing this up with your therapist if you have one, mine gave me some kind of enlightening things to think about
Hi hannah, I can definitely relate. My ocd has always made me have a poor opinion of myself, constantly wondering why I felt different and didn’t fit in and doubting everything I do and am to the nth degree, because that’s just what the OCD bully likes to do. I have always been super hard on myself and even harder to forgive myself even when everyone else had. I have always felt like I was being judged and everyone was watching me to see what I’d do wrong next and I would often not do things I wanted to or act a certain way because of this fear and doubt that I was somehow a bad person or different and ruminating why I just couldn’t be “normal” and just do what I wanted like it seemed everyone else did. To me, it sounds like your OCD bully is trying to use your memories of doubt (that it caused) to double down on your doubt from trans OCD. Try to not ruminate on your memories of doubt from the past, that won’t make that past doubt go away and will most likely only make it stronger or possibly distort it into being more of a false memory the more you think about those events and doubt them further with each visit. Yes, I know that is always much easier said than done, especially by an outsider. This one will be tough, but I would also try to tell your intrusive thoughts about doubting whether you have ever really been a girl “so what if that is or isn’t true? What does it matter? At the end of the day I am still me and you (OCD) can’t diminish who I am or all that I’ve done in my life, no matter how much you want me to dwell in doubt and anxiety and give you an answer, so I’m not playing your game…not today…” and try to just let that question go and move on to something else in your day….something that makes you happy. Because even if you did give the bully an answer it won’t like it and will just make you doubt the answer it gave you anyway, so try to starve it and make it wither and blow into the background as best you can. Not sure if that helps or not, but stay strong against your OCD bully, best wishes and take care.