My name is Keili im 29 I’m at the end of my 4 hour panick attack crying scared episode from ocd I’m really tired so I’m gonna try to get some rest but please someone answer my posts cause I need a friend who can relate so many years dealing wit ocd and I’ve never been able to tlk wit someone wit ocd only videos of others tlk bout there struggles wit it and it makes me feel so much better but I need a lifelong friend and support person just someone to relate to.

I absolutely hate panic attacks that happen with OCD. I get them too where I just have a really hard time calming down once I get worked up. Sometimes sensory things help me like weighted blankets or aromatherapy or a hot shower. OCD is definitely a very lonely illness. I’m sorry you’ve not found anyone to talk with about it but this app should help you feel less lonely/alone! Hopefully anyway. There are a lot of us. :)

This is going to affect my future even if I clean it I’ll always think of the spray on the floor and it being dirty spray to me and my ocd I have alot of strange ocd habits and rituals and other things but I’m trying to describe that My ocd doesn’t like anything but sanitizers and lysols sprays like germ killers and vinegar cause that’s natural but I can’t clean the entire carpet even if I did I no months from now it’ll still be dirty to me to were if I wlk on the carpet and then to the floor my feet are now tracking it threw the house and now I have to clean the house.

If I wlk on the carpet and into my bed it’ll be in my bed so I have to clean the carpet I was just so excited a relieved to be in a clean new place so I could focus on bettering myself cause I’ve been waiting for that for along time cause this previous year I was liveing in a run down camper to help save money for me and my bf there were rats bugs and just dirty I could barely function there so this was gonna be my start to my new life just clean clean everything clean apartment now this bug spray is everywere I’ve never had to deal wit this I’ve never in my entire ocd life felt like I do just panick now panick for the future wat habits is this gonna create will I get a bunch of little rugs and hopscotch across them to avoid touching the actual carpet.

Heyyy I’m here !

I get panic attacks too. They are awful. I have had OCD for most of my life and never knew it until a few months ago.

I had a horrible panic attack on Tuesday in the ED. Thankfully I was able to get calm with the help of some of the nurses and doctors

I calmed down enough to rest for a couple hours but I had to get back so I didn’t mess up my schedule my ocd has always been debilitating so I get ssi for it I just moved into an apartment that had brand new everything and that’s perfect for me and my ocd I felt safe in my freshly painted apartment and brand new carpet but they sprayed all of it today for fleas cause I found like 2 fleas nothing crazy but they sprayed bug spray all over my carpet and I don’t like that stuff it’s dirty to me I’ve been here for only a few days and it was heaven but once I seen them spray the entire carpet in bedroom hallway and liveing room I don’t even no wat I can do to clean it so it’s clean to me and my ocd.

What about a rug shampooer?

I no I need help I’ve been miserable for along time and I no it’s irrational and I work on little things and tell my self I’m gonna be uncomfortable just sit wit it but this is the first time I’ve felt defeated by my ocd I’ve had to throw things away cause itd be easier than cleaning them cause cleaning is like work the counting the rituals the repetitiveness is mentally exhausting so instead of cleaning like a small object that maybe fell in the trash I’d throw it away cause I’d be to mentally exhausted to clean another thing.

I just had my bf rent 1 from big lots he told me he went there cause not alot of ppl go to big lots and he thought they’d be the cleanest rentable shampooers for me so atleast he tried thinking of my ocd but I started shampooeing I got 3 little rows done and I panicked thinking bout doing the entire apartment and then doing it a few times once dried and the hours and stress that was gonna bring me to so I froze.

I was liveing in a not so nice place so moveing here last Friday was a huge relief no bugs no dirty ness freshly painted walls and brand new carpet I felt like this is a gift and a blessing things were looking up I felt relief and happiness cause it was like a brand new place and that makes me happy clean and new makes me happy I found like 2 fleas which I could’ve killed wit a carpet steamer useing the heat to kill more of there were any cause heat kills bugs and eggs and sanitizes wit just useing water no chemicals and bug sprays I just wanna go back and have my bf cancel pest control from spraying here.

I deal wit my ocd I hide it I don’t speak bout it and I make do I deal wit several different kinds of ocd I no that even when I’m better I’ll always have ocd it’ll just be managed and less life hindering but I still have things I have to do and have done a certain way since I was 14 15 years old I’m use to it I have anxiety and stress I deal wit it threw my ocd and get over it but this is a big deal to me and this never happens to the point we’re I’m in full panick my life my day this apartment is all ruined from this 1 pest control guy is the way I feel.

I just wanted to let everyone no I’m so great full for y’all being nice and not judging me I don’t get that very often I’m very alone and misunderstood even by doctors getting help is hard cause every time I go somewere for help they always tell me they don’t have the resources to help me cause my ocd things are so crazy and wierd I just wanna count stuff and make things even the ocd that ppl stereotype ocd ppl to be.

I’m still crying I have a headache I feel nothing will help completely make this go away wit the carpet issue I’m just froze and I’m tired but seeing everyone’s suggestions and encouragement and relatability has been uplifting and it’s nice ppl actually read my post I don’t have alot of nice ppl in my life.

I went to a hospital when I was younger I was so froze I couldn’t do anything they made me sit in the hall for 2 weeks cause I couldn’t do stuff cause of my ocd they didn’t no anyways to treat me then someone helped me starting showering they’d knock on the door every few minutes to let me no the amount of time I had been in there and each day it got less and less till I was showering a normal time amount instead of hours but there wasn’t anyone there that helped me wit other things showering was just hard for me at that moment.

I went to a hospital again a few years ago and they released me 3 days cause they didn’t have the resources to help me I live in Tennessee close to cookeville and Knoxville Nashville there’s no inpatient program that specifically deals wit ocd there was a place in Chicago I was suppose to go to but that didn’t work out.