- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I can relate…I have two young children and have been suffering with harm intrusive thoughts since the end of august. It’s been torture. The disconnect I feel from God is truly awful, I’m slowly trying to build the relationship back up. But it’s so hard when I have little to no self worth.
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s almost unbearable. I know there has to be a way forward. I know my brains fear center is on overdrive and so I am trying to do the things I can to help my body have the nutrition it needs to be able to build and form the neurotransmitters that my body needs to make in order for my brain to heal. I know there are major therapy lines of thought on how to change my thingking so that I can feel less like a horrible person and more like me again, I just haven’t found it yet.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anescandon I need to do better at the physical stuff. I’ve been eating junk and “feel good” foods. I used to be a lot more health conscious and worked out 5 days a week. I don’t remember the last time I did intentional physical activity. I’m sure it would help my brain if I did. But then I go back to feeling unworthy of even doing that.
- Date posted
- 3y
@ashleyc95 I am by far not crushing it! My mother in law helps encourage me to eat better and today I choked down a super nasty but healthy salad even though I do not have an appetite these days. I have been watching feel good baking shows and trying to walk a lot. Some days are better than others for sure!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anescandon That’s wonderful that your mother in law is looking after you, though! Just remember you’re not alone. Keep up the fight. I’ll pray for you! 🤍🤍
- Date posted
- 3y
@ashleyc95 Same to you!!! We have got this!!!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I am so sorry. That sounds terrifying and awful. I just absolutely hate that for you. Hormones and med changes and stuff like that can make you feel like an entirely different person and that is one of the scariest things I’ve ever personally experienced. I hope you can find some compassion for yourself and what you’re going through. You are suffering from a medical condition that is entirely out of you control. Of course you can do some things to try to help, but ultimately you are suffering because of changes on a chemical level. Give yourself some space to relax and heal from what is happening in your body. You aren’t bad or wrong for your recovery. If things get to be too much, your doctor should act immediately to help you get back to a stable level. Your kiddos are blessed to have a parent that thinks deeply about the world and their effect on it. They will benefit so much more from seeing their parent be a human being who gets sick but who reaches out for help because they know their worth and there is nothing that they can’t work on.
- Date posted
- 3y
Please go look at @obsessivelyeverafter on Instagram. It is very helpful!!! Give yourself grace. This is really really fucking hard and you are doing so so well. You ARE NOT your thoughts and your thoughts DO NOT define you!! Your thoughts are not within your control and that’s a large part of why OCD is so crippling. I’m so so so sorry you have to go through this but you will get though it and you are not alone 💕💕💕
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I think I may have SO-OCD and OCD in general. At a young age fear of death. I use to tap my heart 8 times (lucky number) for each person I loved. Then I think I suffered with ROCD and HOCD when I was 18 after 2 bad relationships who they ran off with a ‘close’ friend at the time. I’ve struggled with OCD and these HOCD/ SO-OCD about 12 years ago but the HOCD went and the ROCD came back and forth. I did previously last year have a Fear of death of my children with alligators going on holiday after reading a bad article in Florida which lasted few months. Briefly Started with ‘R-OCD’ again but went pretty quickly. Am I good enough for my partner? Is she going to leave me? What if she finds someone else? Though I saw a picture of a good looking male on a social media which my Brian instantly questioned if I was gay, panic and anxiety which lead to which I think is SO-OCD and HOCD. An obsession is an unwanted and unpleasant thought, image or urge that repeatedly enters my mind, causing feelings of anxiety, disgust or unease. A compulsion is a repetitive behaviour or mental act that you feel you need to do to temporarily relieve the unpleasant feelings brought on by the obsessive thought. I’m stuck in obsessive doubt around my sexual identity, even though I say that deep down i know what my sexual identity is but even this is being questioned at the minute and I want to cry. I have always, always been interested in women. That much I would say I had a sex addiction. My attraction to the opposite sex has pretty much disappeared. I have a fleeting thought of attraction which will set off a cascade of doubt and terror which some thoughts/ feelings make me physically sick. I’m scared of going out in public or even looking at people especially men for the fear of false attraction. I try to do ERP when I do have moments but it makes me want to be sick. My brain feels like it’s in a clamp and I can’t stop the constant thoughts. It feels like something is my head has stopped or not working correctly. Even at night. Every time I wake my chest seems to feel strange and the thoughts are suddenly there. I’ve tried ERP but it makes me want to be sick even when it subsides. I am still continuing this but I feel so drained. I just want to be myself again who I was 3 months ago. I hate that this has happened and I feel that I can’t cope, can’t be the husband I want to be, can’t be the father I want and was. These are my main issues at the moment; false attraction to pretty much any male even voices, decrease attraction in opposite gender, severe anxiety, I can’t sleep or eat, constant thoughts 24/7 and scenarios, groinal responses, seavere recriminatory thinking, I hate myself, I even have false attraction to myself in the mirror. What is wrong with me? I just want to be the husband and father I was a few months ago!
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
- Date posted
- 14w
I can remember the day I started having intrusive thoughts. I was so confused and scared. It’s been almost 3 months- does it get easier to manage? Currently taking medication and going to therapy, but this is all still very new, and very scary. Please tell me there’s relief in recovery..? I tend to isolate myself from my family, often. I’m tired, so so tired. :( Most days, I just stay on the couch or in bed. I don’t quite get as anxious, but like a “heart stopping” gut feeling when a thought pops up. I miss the me I was before the diagnosis. HOCD is scary and harder when it attacks the loved ones, spouse, in your home. :( My heart hurts.
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