- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I can relate…I have two young children and have been suffering with harm intrusive thoughts since the end of august. It’s been torture. The disconnect I feel from God is truly awful, I’m slowly trying to build the relationship back up. But it’s so hard when I have little to no self worth.
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s almost unbearable. I know there has to be a way forward. I know my brains fear center is on overdrive and so I am trying to do the things I can to help my body have the nutrition it needs to be able to build and form the neurotransmitters that my body needs to make in order for my brain to heal. I know there are major therapy lines of thought on how to change my thingking so that I can feel less like a horrible person and more like me again, I just haven’t found it yet.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anescandon I need to do better at the physical stuff. I’ve been eating junk and “feel good” foods. I used to be a lot more health conscious and worked out 5 days a week. I don’t remember the last time I did intentional physical activity. I’m sure it would help my brain if I did. But then I go back to feeling unworthy of even doing that.
- Date posted
- 3y
@ashleyc95 I am by far not crushing it! My mother in law helps encourage me to eat better and today I choked down a super nasty but healthy salad even though I do not have an appetite these days. I have been watching feel good baking shows and trying to walk a lot. Some days are better than others for sure!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anescandon That’s wonderful that your mother in law is looking after you, though! Just remember you’re not alone. Keep up the fight. I’ll pray for you! 🤍🤍
- Date posted
- 3y
@ashleyc95 Same to you!!! We have got this!!!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I am so sorry. That sounds terrifying and awful. I just absolutely hate that for you. Hormones and med changes and stuff like that can make you feel like an entirely different person and that is one of the scariest things I’ve ever personally experienced. I hope you can find some compassion for yourself and what you’re going through. You are suffering from a medical condition that is entirely out of you control. Of course you can do some things to try to help, but ultimately you are suffering because of changes on a chemical level. Give yourself some space to relax and heal from what is happening in your body. You aren’t bad or wrong for your recovery. If things get to be too much, your doctor should act immediately to help you get back to a stable level. Your kiddos are blessed to have a parent that thinks deeply about the world and their effect on it. They will benefit so much more from seeing their parent be a human being who gets sick but who reaches out for help because they know their worth and there is nothing that they can’t work on.
- Date posted
- 3y
Please go look at @obsessivelyeverafter on Instagram. It is very helpful!!! Give yourself grace. This is really really fucking hard and you are doing so so well. You ARE NOT your thoughts and your thoughts DO NOT define you!! Your thoughts are not within your control and that’s a large part of why OCD is so crippling. I’m so so so sorry you have to go through this but you will get though it and you are not alone 💕💕💕
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
- Date posted
- 19w
At this point I think I’m just tired. Took me a massive amount of strength to even type this. I’ve never had it this bad with anxiety depression and OCD. Firstly, how do you guys handle the trauma that comes with OCD. I recently realized Ive traumatized by own mind. I think this contributes to depression. Also, the thoughts frequency have gotten so high. It just literally jams its self in my brain. Before, I had some sort of control (at least a grip) but this days it’s so hard to try to get a grip. The unwanted feelings too? Omg, reactions that I literally can’t stand plagues me. My mind turns almost everything sexual. It’s crazy 🙃 Then the anxietyyyyyy! Wheew. I’m like a walking anxiety attack, my heart is always beating fast and it’s so painful. Working is so hard because I can’t get a grip, I feel so broken and I don’t think anyone can relate to this. I don’t know what I can do to help. Then the pressure in my head (that causes headache sometimes), sometimes I genuinely think I have a tumor! I’m pregnant so that makes it sadder, makes me wonder what kind of mother this beautiful soul is coming out here to meet. I don’t want to be a sad mother, and I cry more when I realize my child can feel what I feel rn in my belly😔. Another thing, the moment I don’t wanna do something, doesn’t even have to be anything bad. That’s when it feels my mind wants to force me to do it. It’s a whole lot and I’m just holding on to Jesus to help me out. At least he’s here so that’s comforting.
- Date posted
- 7w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
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