Where can I find information on self compassion related to how my ocd has made me feel? My ocd came on and in a different form in August after coming off meds from a surgery. I have struggled since to find balance in my body and neurotransmitters and a systemic kenalog shot about put me inpatient. My hormones now are causing upticks in my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I cannot wait for this long acting steroid to be out of my system. But none the less, 5 months of solid harm ocd intrusive thoughts that attack almost every positive thought I have is exhausting and wearing my mind down. I am a mother of two young kids and it’s hard for me to do what I need to do without crippling anxiety from my intrusive thoughts in the worst atmospheres. I just can’t read anything about getting better or self help, devotionals or anything because I feel like I am a monster and I am no longer the person I used to be. I used to feel so connected to my God as I believe and to who I was a a human on this earth and I feel like the last 5 months with HOCD has completely destroyed me.

I can relate…I have two young children and have been suffering with harm intrusive thoughts since the end of august. It’s been torture. The disconnect I feel from God is truly awful, I’m slowly trying to build the relationship back up. But it’s so hard when I have little to no self worth.

I am so sorry. That sounds terrifying and awful. I just absolutely hate that for you. Hormones and med changes and stuff like that can make you feel like an entirely different person and that is one of the scariest things I’ve ever personally experienced. I hope you can find some compassion for yourself and what you’re going through. You are suffering from a medical condition that is entirely out of you control. Of course you can do some things to try to help, but ultimately you are suffering because of changes on a chemical level. Give yourself some space to relax and heal from what is happening in your body. You aren’t bad or wrong for your recovery. If things get to be too much, your doctor should act immediately to help you get back to a stable level. Your kiddos are blessed to have a parent that thinks deeply about the world and their effect on it. They will benefit so much more from seeing their parent be a human being who gets sick but who reaches out for help because they know their worth and there is nothing that they can’t work on.

Please go look at @obsessivelyeverafter on Instagram. It is very helpful!!! Give yourself grace. This is really really fucking hard and you are doing so so well. You ARE NOT your thoughts and your thoughts DO NOT define you!! Your thoughts are not within your control and that’s a large part of why OCD is so crippling. I’m so so so sorry you have to go through this but you will get though it and you are not alone 💕💕💕