Iann
- Date posted
- 6y
AFord15AFord15
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m in the same boat, the mornings are always harder because the first thing your mind wants to do is get to running. But what we really got to do is start building good habits-the more we follow the right protocol with these thoughts we start to build some consistency. Just know that it will take time, but I promise you that a day or two will go by and you will consciously perceive progress. Progress will be made, just be relieved knowing that you’re not alone and it’s plenty of us going through the same thing. If this was your reality it would’ve always been your reality my man-you can only run but so far from the truth. You knew since you were a young boy what you like what you don’t like, it may not be black and white across the board but you’ve always known. That is your DNA, that is what makes you you. You have to remember that. You don’t just transform into a person overnight. The issue with us with the specific set of OCD is that we’ve gotten so shocked by it that we’ve ruminated in it for days and now we’ve manifested it as reality. That’s why it won’t go away. We just have to switch gears now, the cool thing about the brain is all your innate desires come back to the forefront-let’s get back to living.
AFord15AFord15
- Date posted
- 6y
Ill put it to you like this, and this usually helps me get back to my baseline-if you like or love women you cannot be gay. Being gay means being exclusively attracted whether romantically or sexually to the same sex. If you fantasize about having sex with women or you often have in your life, and you enjoy it, you cannot be gay. If you desire to be with a woman, and to marry a woman someday, you cannot be gay. If when you think about sex or watch sex-if you are aroused by the opposite sex you cannot be gay. The solution is to embed these things in your brain. Don’t use it as reassurance just know it, study it, educate yourself. That way when the thoughts come back, identify it as a fear. Yes it’s threatening but if you just neglect it and let it go by the wayside, then you will see that the volume of it decreases. You will start to get more confident. You will have times when it’s harder, such as when you are around other males but you have to continue to educate yourself on who you have always been. You will be who you desire to be.
IannIann
- Date posted
- 6y
This is great advice! Thank you so much for real. It’s really hard at times especially in the mornings right when I wake up, the thoughts and anxiety get the to the highest points. I still get aroused by women but it doesn’t last long because gay intrusive thoughts enter my mind and the arousal goes out the window.
IannIann
- Date posted
- 6y
Do you have any tips I can do in the morning especially to make then at least a little more bearable?
IannIann
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks for this
AFord15AFord15
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m still finding the best way to manage it myself but what I usually do is when I get that first thought I try to respond the right way to it right there, because that sets the tone for the day. Then it may be another hour before I get another thought. But I can feel myself making progress because it used to be something I would deal with everyday all day. Now it’s everyday half the day. The other thing that helps me is I will turn the tv on and put on sports center or something, because it’s a lot of males and I will try to use that as a way to get back to normal mode of thinking. Then I’ll try to watch some YouTube videos. It helps me because a lot of times it’s people on tv that I’ve seen a thousand times and never had any intrusive thoughts-so that lets me know I’m going through something. Also, get in a habit of just making small talk with any males you see in passing or during the day. Expect the intrusive thought to come and just ignore it shrug it off and continue the convo-watch how it kinda goes away and then you won’t even think about it until the Convo is over. I can clearly tell when my anxiety sets in-I feel like a zap of energy and a clear sexual repression. Not to be too graphic but it’s like I can feel my nuts shrinking and then I lose my appetite, I get a headache, and then I have to go to the bathroom. It’s more than apparent that this makes you real uncomfortable, so when you start to feel that start meditating these positive things I told you before.
ShakespeareShakespeare
- Date posted
- 6y
While I understand where AFord15 is coming from, plenty of people are attracted to both men and women. It’s called bisexuality or pansexuality.
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Anonymous
- Date posted
- 20w
Am I even straight anymore?
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 20w
Hocd is literally a clown in my head.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
ocdsurviver
- Date posted
- 12w
I’m so tired. HOCD is the worst.
I don’t know what to do with this bs anymore. I’m crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. I’ve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and it’s so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I don’t want it to be the truth. I don’t want to accept any possibility.
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