My boyfriend would disagree. I want you to show yourself compassion, like you would to someone suffering cancer or a broken arm. Your battle in your head is just as tough. Know that this isn't your fault, and that this is something you are working on. Celebrate small victories, and know you are great. It is really tough to hear it sometimes. You didn't ask for this, and know that the healing isn't a straight line, but if you have someone who loves and stands besides you through this doubting disease that you are with someone who chooses you. Love is a choice ❤. Stay strong please reach out if you need a friend. You are wonderful don't doubt that, and your partner sees it too.
Thank you for this ❤️.
@merrilark Of course ❤
I understand this so much I think this everyday and it is my own personal hell. However, my best friend told me something that has really helped me begin to shift my perspective. She said that I can not decide what he deserves. Even though I feel guilty and not good enough that is my perspective of myself and him. However, as he is his own person he is the only one who gets a say in what he deserves and for me to say he deserves better than me is unfair to both myself and him. To try and say he deserves better is a mistrust of his self assessment. If your partner loves you and feels worthy of your love that is enough even if you don't feel like it is.
Thank you I needed this perspective
@WitchyKota You're welcome. Stay strong ❤️
@Anonymous I'm trying ❤ something you
Thats a great view on it ❤️.
Yes EXACTLY!! That tought was a game changer for me too!! It is his choice! You can't decide for him! Maby he deserve better, maby not. But he wants you!! So he "deserve to follow his choice"! (Obviously if you want that too!) And also, I think you are already part of the elite for him... you choose literally to fight with your head for having and happy future togheter... How could he even want something better than this??
@eoid Thank you!
I just found out that the soul crushing feelings towards him I've had for 10 years was OCD. I knew I had other manifestations like over checking appliances, hit and run ocd etc. I didn't know a whole lot about OCD and always associated it with checking things. I can look back on my childhood now and see I've had many themes not even knowing what it was. To be honest I haven't told him about this yet and I know it's been a strain on the relationship because he can tell something was wrong. Honestly sometimes I even wanted to take my life before telling him something like this because I don't want to cause him any pain. He is my whole world and he deserves so much. I've been living with guilt forever. Knowing that it is OCD makes it a little better but It's like I can't forgive myself. What a terrible thing that attached to what you love so much. Any advice on how to tell?