- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I have obsessive intrusive thoughts. They started last November and its completely changed my life in the worst way. I dont feel like myself anymore. I feel like a monster and a horrible mother. I have been trying to treat myself through exposure therapy and through ocd work books but I really think I need to start meds again. I was on paxil and I hated the side effects. I'm thinking of starting zoloft.
- Date posted
- 6y
I definitely have been there. I’m not feeling like myself at the moment either. You are not a monster or a horrible mother. Monsters don’t care if they are monsters our not. If you were a horrible mother you wouldn’t think twice or even care. The only reason those thoughts upset you is because you are afraid of being that person. It’s the opposite of you. It’s Just OCD doing what it does best and thats making you doubt yourself. Stay strong?
- Date posted
- 6y
I was just putting clothes on after taking my first shower after three days and I looked so sick, so skinny cause I haven’t eat bc of this too
- Date posted
- 6y
I definitely do the same. You are not your thoughts. You’re brain just produces them. Kind of like gas?. You don’t have control over it. It just happens. Don’t let it define you. You don’t stress over your random good thoughts and that’s only because they don’t cause you anxiety. You’re thoughts all have one thing in common.They are just thoughts. The only difference is the fear attached to the negative ones. Accept them and let them go. Easier said then done, trust me! I’m living it with you. Just don’t let your brain throw a tantrum. That’s all it’s doing.It’s just reminding you that you don’t like it and it wants you to give in so it can have its way and solve a problem that doesn’t even exists. Stay strong???
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm sorry.
- Date posted
- 6y
When I'm reading books about harm ocd I feel better like ok I'm not crazy! But what is so upsetting is that this all started when I was 34. It's not something I have been living with for years. I have always had anxiety and depression but never intrusive thoughts. I use to see myself as a loving person but now I try my hardest to convince myself that I'm not a closet psychopath even though in my heart I know that I'm not. I'm so conflicted.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I am hurting so much right now. I feel sad and disgusted with myself that I would even worry about these things (pocd). What kind of a human even thinks that and has doubts about that?? Definitely not one that’s rational or mentally sane. That kind of stuff should be a no brainer so why do I worry about it so much and what does it say about me? I feel sick and disgusted and can’t stop crying over it. I just feel so defeated like I want to disappear. I started ERP and every time I resist reassuring myself it comes back at me from every angle. I hate this so much.
- Date posted
- 21w
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
- Date posted
- 21w
I can be way too hard on myself and beat myself up over the smallest slip up in regards to OCD. Sometimes it can feel like I'm gaslighting myself on what was "so blatantly and obviously a moral atrocity in thought and intent", when 95% of the time I'm not even sure what my own intent with dealing with these thoughts is or why I do what I do. It makes me feel like some shameless beast for "daring to even entertain the thought of something so VILE!!!" When I just get so confused and scared on moral issues, like my mind is pulled down a rabbit hole I can't escape until the tricks are done on me and it's too late, i've accepted such ideas I hate until that hate and trying to not give in convince me "it might not be that bad". It feels like anything, even the most mundane things can trigger this. This cycle happens mainly because I feel like there's "no way to escape committing more 'attrocities' in thought or compulsion anyway"...and these cycles become the basis for more of these incidents. there a way to stop this? There have been multiple times where I called myself the R word, and even knowing it's a slur I still called myself that because "I'm nothing if not deserving of such scorn". Any attempt to stop the madness makes it worse and it's like all this I talked about is so convincing I dare not question it until after the fact. Please help.
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