Hi I really need help. I really want to get better and want to work on recovery but I am too scared to look for a therapist. I had a very bad experience before, my family is not really supportive of the idea and I have very graphic sexual intrusive thoughts. I am convinced that it will be so embarrassing and humiliating to talk about this again. But I know that without proper guidance I am gonna have to deal with this forever.. has anybody advice?

I’m on track to getting my diagnosis and i’m already questioning it. Pocd feels so real, and even though i once saw someone say “it has to feel real or you wouldn’t worry” which is like god level reassurance honestly, it hurts. I can’t look at children, they deserve better. My usual attraction seems to be gone and i can not think about anything else. At the same time i don’t really feel anxiety. I’m scared i don’t feel bad enough, if i just smiled maybe i honestly wouldn’t feel bad? I don’t have many other ocd symptoms either, except for some stuff when i was a kid and like questioning everything about myself. I’m clinging to the hope that this is Pocd instead of me being a Monster and at the same time i’m so sad that i have to go trough this. I don’t like myself but i’m sorry for my younger self. I just want to be held and be told that everything will be okay but how can i know? Even then i feel like comfort of that kind only really applies to others who are struggling and aren’t horrible like me. In so many ways i sm convinced i am a monster even though it might be a bit irrational. Maybe i’m a monster after all and then i should really get away from everyone i love. They deserve better :( After a lifetime of struggles (nothing super serious) i’m just getting started with therapy and i’m so.. scared. What if it won’t help? What if it turns out i’m the bad person i fear to be. Is there any way i can prepare or some tips or literally anything else? I would appreciate any wise words

Hi everyone I could really use some help on this topic. It’s hard to admit and talk about but after being on here I see that I’m not the only one! Still I would love some support and advice with how to deal with those unwanted sexual thoughts. For me it’s so uncomfortable and honestly gross when sexual thoughts get out of hand with normal people and also do extremely out of hand that even loved ones get involved. Like when I watch tv and all of a sudden I have these gross thoughts that I know if I accept they will go away but how can you accept something so gross? Would love some help!

My therapist is asking me to talk more about mistakes I’ve made so that we can work on talking through that. A lot of my mistakes are really bad. I was homeschooled, I think I realized right from wrong later than most people. I had a porn addiction and saw some nasty stuff, I read horrible fanfictions and stories, I made mistakes later like 19 and early 20 to that most wouldn’t make and are really just gross. So I guess first of all, can anyone else relate? Also how do you go about telling this to a therapist? I’m afraid she’ll like hold onto this information and think something bad about me if I’m too cryptic or if I give too many details too. Idk. I know she’s not going to force me to talk about anything k don’t want to but idk.