- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I keep trying to remind myself that if I was really gay, the thoughts of being gay would not feel intrusive or cause anxiety. The idea that I could be gay makes me sick to my stomach because I never want to live my life that way, so I think that that in itself is a way of my OCD attacking something that I value, which is the future life I hope to have with a husband and kids. I think if I was actually gay, these thoughts would feel right.
- Date posted
- 3y
Precisely ocd attacks our identities that’s why we feel so scared and alarmed. It takes what we value the most and turns it against us. just know you are ok and you will be. I hope that helps
- Date posted
- 3y
This exact thing happened to me after finding out my little brother was gay. For whatever reason the fear and the intrusive thoughts happened you have to understand that all this is , is anxiety your brain right now is in fight or flight. You are reacting to the thing you are scared of. Once your anxiety subsides it will disappear I know that it is terrifying trust me I know first hand. But it will go away . In high times of stress and anxiety I bet you get intrusive thoughts that you can’t kick away. I say this because I have been dealing with intrusive thoughts since that incident and even though I healed from it years ago and unfortunately dealing with it now . I know that it will pass. These thoughts aren’t reality and they never will be. I want you to think about your first sexual memory or first encounter with some one I’m 100 percent sure it was with the opposite sex no matter what your brain try’s to tell you. That is your answer.
- Date posted
- 3y
you give good advice. May I ask you if something is OCD? Because I haven’t had a sexual experience with a guy yet and it scares me that I made a face as I don’t but I would love to be with a guy one day
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 Are you a female or male? Age?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I’m scared of what you’re going to say now. Female and 30
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 I am not a therapist or psychologist but you are on this app for a reason if you were perfectly ok with what was happening to you, you wouldn’t seek help you know their is something wrong internally with whatever is going on in your head.if you wish to have a family and be married to a male one day then you have your answer stop letting your brain take over you are not your thoughts. Body And mind are two different things. I know it’s scary because you fear that they will become reality but they won’t. I have thought about every terrible thing possibly not of it came true. I still struggle with thoughts even today but I know I’ve been stressed recently and it will pass.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I’ll try to remember that. Probably bookmark this post as well as a reminder. I just don’t like the faces I make like if you saw my fish expressions you’d think I don’t wanna actually really like men so it’s like why am I making those expressions? But like I said I’ll try to remember what you said I hate the face as I keep fucking making I’m so sorry I just keep pulling faces over guys like I don’t like oh married I make a face like it is but it’s not ugly I would love to marry a guy one day. And I can’t stop thinking about and I’m scared I just condition myself to ‘ cause I’ve been obsessed about it even though it’s not pleasant I don’t want women’s anaanamy or structure I don’t like the way they stick out I want guys to come back so to speak in my head I want them. Sorry I didn’t mean to dump that on you.
- Date posted
- 3y
I promise you it will go away the best thing you are doing is attempting to get help. I remember when it was happening to me I sought help and little by little I got myself back and they went away I even laughed at them . You will be able to be free of this.
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re awesome
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 You wanna know how ridiculous this thing is? After my hocd left i was able to go to the pride parade with my brother and had zero issues no triggers no intrusive thoughts. That’s how I know this thing is bullshit it’s your brain scaring you and nothing else.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m really scared now because I was just terrified of what people think and I’m scared it’s not but then I acted like literally I just now said with my heart craves my heart does not want to be anything other than OCD and that freaks me up because my I’m scared why would my heart act like that I don’t want it to be anything else I want man I want all this to be OCD and why would I mention my heart when my heart‘s not into this shit. My hearts not into women it’s not gay it’s not into this shit so why would I say oh it does I’m scared I don’t crave a different answer I hope it’s all OCD I’m not gay I’m so freaking sorry. I hate being so needy and bugging people
- Date posted
- 3y
You aren’t gay remember you aren’t your thoughts.. treat it like this “ as your self if you think of turning into a bear “ you can’t it’s just a thought. Let it pass
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m sorry you’re going through that. I understand what you’re talking about and it sucks
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments
- Date posted
- 15w
I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲
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- Date posted
- 9w
i'm a lesbian, i was sure of this for many years, until soocd started messing with me around a month ago. it's hard because lesbians with soocd aren't well documented and it's hard to find similar experiences from others. i hate this, my mind is telling me it's not ocd and that i actually like men. i don't even know if i wouldn't like it. i guess that's accepting uncertainty but i don't want to like men. i want to marry my girlfriend. i don't want to be with a man but my mind doesn't let me feel anything regarding that, neither good nor bad, and i cannot tell if i enjoy that thought or don't like it. it's horrible. i'm so exhausted. i get groinal reactions too which i've never even had before this subtype flared up because im on the asexual spectrum. it's insane. has anyone else had any similar experiences?
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