- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I keep trying to remind myself that if I was really gay, the thoughts of being gay would not feel intrusive or cause anxiety. The idea that I could be gay makes me sick to my stomach because I never want to live my life that way, so I think that that in itself is a way of my OCD attacking something that I value, which is the future life I hope to have with a husband and kids. I think if I was actually gay, these thoughts would feel right.
- Date posted
- 3y
Precisely ocd attacks our identities that’s why we feel so scared and alarmed. It takes what we value the most and turns it against us. just know you are ok and you will be. I hope that helps
- Date posted
- 3y
This exact thing happened to me after finding out my little brother was gay. For whatever reason the fear and the intrusive thoughts happened you have to understand that all this is , is anxiety your brain right now is in fight or flight. You are reacting to the thing you are scared of. Once your anxiety subsides it will disappear I know that it is terrifying trust me I know first hand. But it will go away . In high times of stress and anxiety I bet you get intrusive thoughts that you can’t kick away. I say this because I have been dealing with intrusive thoughts since that incident and even though I healed from it years ago and unfortunately dealing with it now . I know that it will pass. These thoughts aren’t reality and they never will be. I want you to think about your first sexual memory or first encounter with some one I’m 100 percent sure it was with the opposite sex no matter what your brain try’s to tell you. That is your answer.
- Date posted
- 3y
you give good advice. May I ask you if something is OCD? Because I haven’t had a sexual experience with a guy yet and it scares me that I made a face as I don’t but I would love to be with a guy one day
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 Are you a female or male? Age?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I’m scared of what you’re going to say now. Female and 30
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 I am not a therapist or psychologist but you are on this app for a reason if you were perfectly ok with what was happening to you, you wouldn’t seek help you know their is something wrong internally with whatever is going on in your head.if you wish to have a family and be married to a male one day then you have your answer stop letting your brain take over you are not your thoughts. Body And mind are two different things. I know it’s scary because you fear that they will become reality but they won’t. I have thought about every terrible thing possibly not of it came true. I still struggle with thoughts even today but I know I’ve been stressed recently and it will pass.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous I’ll try to remember that. Probably bookmark this post as well as a reminder. I just don’t like the faces I make like if you saw my fish expressions you’d think I don’t wanna actually really like men so it’s like why am I making those expressions? But like I said I’ll try to remember what you said I hate the face as I keep fucking making I’m so sorry I just keep pulling faces over guys like I don’t like oh married I make a face like it is but it’s not ugly I would love to marry a guy one day. And I can’t stop thinking about and I’m scared I just condition myself to ‘ cause I’ve been obsessed about it even though it’s not pleasant I don’t want women’s anaanamy or structure I don’t like the way they stick out I want guys to come back so to speak in my head I want them. Sorry I didn’t mean to dump that on you.
- Date posted
- 3y
I promise you it will go away the best thing you are doing is attempting to get help. I remember when it was happening to me I sought help and little by little I got myself back and they went away I even laughed at them . You will be able to be free of this.
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re awesome
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 You wanna know how ridiculous this thing is? After my hocd left i was able to go to the pride parade with my brother and had zero issues no triggers no intrusive thoughts. That’s how I know this thing is bullshit it’s your brain scaring you and nothing else.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m really scared now because I was just terrified of what people think and I’m scared it’s not but then I acted like literally I just now said with my heart craves my heart does not want to be anything other than OCD and that freaks me up because my I’m scared why would my heart act like that I don’t want it to be anything else I want man I want all this to be OCD and why would I mention my heart when my heart‘s not into this shit. My hearts not into women it’s not gay it’s not into this shit so why would I say oh it does I’m scared I don’t crave a different answer I hope it’s all OCD I’m not gay I’m so freaking sorry. I hate being so needy and bugging people
- Date posted
- 3y
You aren’t gay remember you aren’t your thoughts.. treat it like this “ as your self if you think of turning into a bear “ you can’t it’s just a thought. Let it pass
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m sorry you’re going through that. I understand what you’re talking about and it sucks
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Im a 21 year old female in a straight relationship with the best guy a girl could ever ask for. About 2 months ago, I went to get coffee with a friend and as I dropped her off, I got a “weird” vibe from her and the look she gave me which lead to the thought of “should I kiss her”….Ive never had a thought like that before and I never have ever wanted to kiss another girl. I have also never had a desire to be with another girl (sexually or romantically). Now though, I have had one other experience of being with a different friend going to get lunch and it felt weird. Ever since then I have been on google non stop with hundreds of different searches, questioning if im lying to myself of my boyfriend, wondering about my past relationships even though Ive only dated boys, been attracted to boys, crushed on boys, etc… boy crazy! Reading on other forums has been a big thing too or doing quizzes. I believe its SO-OCD but im so scared that what if its not. I am in therapy and actually had two weeks of not even thinking about it or googling it until yesterday. I dont know what to do.
- Date posted
- 14w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 14w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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