- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That's OCD talking to you. In this case, you have to accept uncertainty. You don't know someone won't be interested in you once they find out you have OCD. But if you let OCD stop you from trying to really open up to someone and allow a relationship to blossom, you're setting yourself up for a lonely life. I know it's really difficult, but I encourage you to do the opposite of what your OCD wants. Get on a dating app or go out and just meet people--it doesn't even have to be romantic. You don't *need* to be in a relationship, but if dating is something you genuinely want to explore and the only thing holding you back is OCD, then I say go for it anyway!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I have similar fears (I’m 18 and my only relationship was in middle school). It not specifically just because I have OCD, but I also have Graves Disease and my OCD makes me think that all these other details about my life would make anyone not want to be with me. I’m seeing a psychologist and it’s very hard to talk about this fear of being alone in life, but I just recently opened up to him about how there was one girl I kind of had a crush on and my OCD latched onto them and resulted in me oversharing and being clingy to the point I pushed them away and ruined our friendship. It’s just so hard to make connections with others when I’m stuck in my head 24/7 and am so afraid of everything entailed with being in a relationship. I WANT to be in one, but my mind just tells me I can’t. Hell I even have a very difficult time just making new friends in general
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I feel the same way but not necessarily just because of “ocd” but because it has made me feel so.... different and for a lack of better word “dirty”? Not that I feel physically unclean, I just feel like because of how ocd has developed my perception of myself, no one could TRULY love the real me. I’m 19 and have never been in an actual relationship either! (There was a little month-long stunt but I hated it the entire time haha)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah I found out that I had OCD when I was a couple of months in my relationship. Once I opened up to her she didn't understand it very much but she was completely supportive. I had that fear that she'd leave me for someone who didn't have a mental health issue. But she didn't she loves me just as much as she did before. Don't let your fears stop you from being happy
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I'm 19 and I feel the same way. I feel like I have, and am continuing, to miss out on things people my age do. I was never interested and now I just want someone to talk and share my emotions with. Someone that's not family or a therapist. My OCD makes me think I'm to weird to attack someone tho.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hey, I'm 28 and in a happy relationship now, but I can definitely relate to all of these feelings from when I was single - being worried that no one would want me because I'm too weird or crazy, my ocd telling me I'm immoral/dirty/tainted and that I would be tainting anyone who I was with. All I would say is that it's your ocd making you feel like that, but when the right person comes along you will be fine - you deserve love and you can be in a happy relationship. I was in another relationship before where he didn't get mental health and wasn't that supportive - at the time i tended to think that was my fault, but now I can see he just wasn't the right person. My current partner is super understanding and supportive of my ocd! There's nothing wrong with being on your own but you can still have OCD and have a great relationship ?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Exactly, MichaelK!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That’s so awesome of him!! It’s so nice that they’re people like that
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w ago
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
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