- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I got into a heated discussion recently about the ethics of spanking. I'm always hearing people say how spanking your kids is a form of abuse. People say the same thing about having your son circumcised, since he can't consent to it and it can have lasting trauma. As someone who was circumcised as a baby and who got a few spankings (not many), I had never really thought much of it. It didn't seem to leave any sort of negative impact on me. But the more people would say this, the more it would upset me, like they were trying to say my parents were cruel people. It would put thoughts into my head that were never there before, like whether I should resent them for it or change my relationship with them, even though I never saw it as a problem. I'm trying to learn to just be confident in my opinions though and not think I have to take everything random strangers on the internet say as gospel.
- Date posted
- 3y
I've had this issue for years. I was having weird dreams as a teenager and since then I have worried that I was abused by a relative as a child although I have no memory of anything happen. And of course I doubt myself and doubt my memories constantly. I feel your pain.
- Date posted
- 3y
You are not alone. It’s pure torture. I had an innocent memory from childhood that at first, thought nothing of, then when it came back a few months later I started thinking “hmm I wonder what this could mean?” And then I started implanting the image of something worse that could have happened and have been obsessed ever since. It’s horrible. I’m so terrified I’ll believe this and accuse my family member of doing something I know deep down they didn’t do. I’m completely obsessed with it.
- Date posted
- 3y
Does your brain try to tell you it’s not OCD and it must be true if you’re thinking it like mine does? Even though I have a history of ocd. I’ve gone through every “theme” of ocd so it’s wired into me.
- Date posted
- 3y
@maggiemae712 I've never been diagnosed but I've done a lot of research and realized I've been dealing with it for 20 years. It actually started with these abuse thoughts and I had no idea thats what it was. But when I'm around this person, which is often, the thoughts plague me. I try to ignore them but I don't know how to properly ignore and fix the problem. I wish i had constructive help but I don't. I do my best by reminding myself that I KNOW nothing ever happened no matter what my brain is saying. I have no reason to think anything happened except that my brain won't let me stop obsessing. I'm sure there's a better way to deal with it though.
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- 3y
@Catastrophelane3 My mind always goes to the worst case scenario for every situation. Its awful.
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- 3y
@Catastrophelane3 Sorry. I hope that was clear. That I've never been formally diagnosed with OCD but I know that's what these thoughts that plague me have to be.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Catastrophelane3 Over time, although the thoughts haven't slowed, the doubting of myself has decreased. The images plague me still.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Catastrophelane3 - I never experienced it until a few days ago. I’ve been in talk therapy for a bit and my therapist is very “anxiety is because of trauma, let’s explore your childhood” based and I think that really has been setting of my ocd to look for the worst. It’s horrible. Up until now, I have never felt unsafe or unsure around this family member. I don’t even have a concrete “memory” of being abused, just the innocent thought that I started to fill the gaps with. I just hope this feeling can calm down so I can live my life again. I’ve read horror stories of people thinking they have repressed memories and then accusing someone of abuse, that was false, and then ruining their entire life. It’s my biggest fear as my family is my whole world.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes I have and I got over it and you will too all you have to do is say maybe maybe not because no matter how much you are trying to see if you remember or use logic you will not and never find an answer. Nothing is 100 percent certain
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- 3y
How did you overcome it? What was your symptoms? Mines so bad it feels like torture..
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- 3y
Did your mind try to trick you that the memory/thought was real even though you knew deep down it was not?
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- 3y
I was hoping you could give some insight ❤️
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- 3y
@maggiemae712 Yes, I just live with the uncertainty and don’t let it impact my day to day activities
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- 3y
@Anonymous How though when it feels so real?
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- 3y
It’s almost as if, I’ve been in therapy and she’s been trying to get to a “root cause” and my brain took that idea and came up with the most horrific “cause” possible. Even though I NEVER thought that was a possibility. Ever. I’ve been through some tough things in life, but never once have I or anyone expected abuse. That’s why this is so hard and crippling. I cannot function, the anxiety is so bad.
- Date posted
- 3y
It's funny you say that about therapy. When I started having these abusive nightmares, I told a friend about it, so obviously not a therapist, but he suggested maybe I was abused and that thought has been in my mind since. Did you tell your therapist about it?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Catastrophelane3 - Yes. I told my therapist after I started having the thoughts and she honestly made it worse. She told me that “memories don’t lie and to trust my gut and it could be suppressed memories” which triggered it to get way worse
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- 3y
@maggiemae712 Huh. I think if you were clear to her that it was not true, that it didn't happen, she should be open to explore that. Especially knowing you have OCD
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- 3y
@Catastrophelane3 - I was pretty clear. I told her I know this never happened. I didn’t even have an actual thought that I was abused. But she said she’s a “traum a informed therapist” and takes those thoughts very seriously. Which I get. But I also have had severe ocd in the past (not treated by her) and the worst thing to say to someone with ocd is to believe thoughts.
- Date posted
- 3y
@maggiemae712 That sucks. I feel your pain. Its a constant battle that I wish we could rid ourselves of.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Catastrophelane3 - We aren’t alone. Even if it feels like it. It’s hard because I haven’t found much info on this form of ocd. Just the false memories of doing something harmful, not having harmful things done to you.
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- 3y
@maggiemae712 I've been having a hard time finding in depth info myself. Most stuff I read talks about compulsions and either briefly discusses false memories and intrusive thoughts or completely ignores its existence.
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- 3y
@Catastrophelane3 - There’s a video I found on YouTube that has been helpful. I’ll send it.
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- 3y
@Catastrophelane3 - https://youtu.be/ITiB2v3mZlo
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- 3y
@maggiemae712 - She talks about exactly what I’ve been going through.
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- 3y
I actually I was abused so it’s not really a fear. My dad gave me a bloody nose and sprained wrist from trying to break it. sister gave me a concussion. If you had been there would be a doubt, but honestly I worry more about real events that concern my mistakes causing harm for this reason
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- 3y
I mean there wouldn’t be a doubt
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- 3y
I had pretty poor guidance being raised my an alcoholic and made more choices as a teen and young teen adult
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- 3y
*by
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I have had the same false memory/instrusive image of me doing something horrible to someone when I was 12 and they were younger. It is a memory based on a real event. I truly don’t know if it’s real or not but obviously, the more I think about it the more I think it’s true. This has led my mind to become slightly paranoid. I worry that if this horrible image in my head is true then one day the person I might have hurt will come and k*ll me. I’m really scared I feel like I won’t feel better as long as this “memory” is in my head. Does anyone have advice?
- Date posted
- 18w
I experience crippling, debilitating false memory OCD. It started with a “what if” thought 6 days ago and has spiraled into a never ending loop. My mind is telling me that “maybe you did this terrible, awful, unforgivable thing years ago and you don’t remember it and it’s only a matter of time before it catches up to you and your life is over” I’m really needing some coping mechanisms and support. I’m really scared and my body is exhausted. I just want it to stop. It is full panic attack all day, every day. Please if anyone can relate or help me.
- Date posted
- 15w
Yup! Been like this February,worst Part is that I was intoxicated and in a bad place my thoughts were going totally insane,my 8 year old niece spend the night with me and my intrusive thoughts were telling me to molested her and all of the above ☝🏻 I do remember staring at her for a while and thinking 💭 If I did something to her she would probably say it or she would wake up,it gave me a good sense of relieve but now and since then …I can’t fully remember if I did,just for the”hmm let’s test this out and see if she would actually wake up” kind of like those,,,I wonder if u pull a dogs tail he would turn around and bark or bite me,trust me…shit like that would backfire at you and I haven’t really been at peace since then…I try to also control My self and try to use uncertainty but to be honest the vision and memory are so real like very vivid as if it happens so for me it did happend and I feel Horrible,I currently in my mid 30’s and these thoughts lash out f nowhere since I was 26,somehow I knew how to manage them,I would Do Compulsions as avoiding my niece and any type Of kid,I would Get extremely paranoid when I had to change her diapers and could do something to harm her.i never been attracted to children in my life,yes! Unfortunately i was molested sexually as a kid by a man from ages 6-9 and one of the things that would Kill Me and trigger me would be the fact that I wonder why? Why do they do that why ? What do they feel ?! And for my disadvantage….im Like the kid that you tell Them”don’t push that red button or else…🚨🧨💣🤯” and guess what?! My Hyperactive dumb ass is still Gonna push the button cause I wanna know what the hell is gonna happend for my self,and I feel that I did something g that I will regret my whole Life! Sometimes when I’m calmer I think with logic and see things from another perspective but then ocd and paranoia kicks in and it’s exhausting and mentally draining!so Guess what?! It sucks! This sucks! to live like this and having to live with the …”what ifs,did I or Did I not!?” But u aren’t alone friend just know theirs plenty of us out there Worst part of all this i havent been able.to fill in the gaps and it makes me.feel like a monster,did i molested my niece in her sleep,what if.my intentions were actually bad,im the kind of person that a thought can be morbid and I have tp figure it out,so when I think to my that I do something it's because I was clearly thinking okay let me.tedt.my self or see if I do feel.something and that shit will backfire on you BAD! Because then I will think*what kind of a human being on earth wpuld.do something like that?!* and it triggers me bad,I mean really bad like anxiety and panick attacks and not wanting to live with my self with this guilt!idk if there's someone else out there with a case like this bit if their is please dont make me feel that im alone, not looking for reassurance just support
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