- Username
- maggiemae712
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I got into a heated discussion recently about the ethics of spanking. I'm always hearing people say how spanking your kids is a form of abuse. People say the same thing about having your son circumcised, since he can't consent to it and it can have lasting trauma. As someone who was circumcised as a baby and who got a few spankings (not many), I had never really thought much of it. It didn't seem to leave any sort of negative impact on me. But the more people would say this, the more it would upset me, like they were trying to say my parents were cruel people. It would put thoughts into my head that were never there before, like whether I should resent them for it or change my relationship with them, even though I never saw it as a problem. I'm trying to learn to just be confident in my opinions though and not think I have to take everything random strangers on the internet say as gospel.
I've had this issue for years. I was having weird dreams as a teenager and since then I have worried that I was abused by a relative as a child although I have no memory of anything happen. And of course I doubt myself and doubt my memories constantly. I feel your pain.
You are not alone. It’s pure torture. I had an innocent memory from childhood that at first, thought nothing of, then when it came back a few months later I started thinking “hmm I wonder what this could mean?” And then I started implanting the image of something worse that could have happened and have been obsessed ever since. It’s horrible. I’m so terrified I’ll believe this and accuse my family member of doing something I know deep down they didn’t do. I’m completely obsessed with it.
Does your brain try to tell you it’s not OCD and it must be true if you’re thinking it like mine does? Even though I have a history of ocd. I’ve gone through every “theme” of ocd so it’s wired into me.
@maggiemae712 I've never been diagnosed but I've done a lot of research and realized I've been dealing with it for 20 years. It actually started with these abuse thoughts and I had no idea thats what it was. But when I'm around this person, which is often, the thoughts plague me. I try to ignore them but I don't know how to properly ignore and fix the problem. I wish i had constructive help but I don't. I do my best by reminding myself that I KNOW nothing ever happened no matter what my brain is saying. I have no reason to think anything happened except that my brain won't let me stop obsessing. I'm sure there's a better way to deal with it though.
@Catastrophelane3 My mind always goes to the worst case scenario for every situation. Its awful.
@Catastrophelane3 Sorry. I hope that was clear. That I've never been formally diagnosed with OCD but I know that's what these thoughts that plague me have to be.
@Catastrophelane3 Over time, although the thoughts haven't slowed, the doubting of myself has decreased. The images plague me still.
@Catastrophelane3 - I never experienced it until a few days ago. I’ve been in talk therapy for a bit and my therapist is very “anxiety is because of trauma, let’s explore your childhood” based and I think that really has been setting of my ocd to look for the worst. It’s horrible. Up until now, I have never felt unsafe or unsure around this family member. I don’t even have a concrete “memory” of being abused, just the innocent thought that I started to fill the gaps with. I just hope this feeling can calm down so I can live my life again. I’ve read horror stories of people thinking they have repressed memories and then accusing someone of abuse, that was false, and then ruining their entire life. It’s my biggest fear as my family is my whole world.
Yes I have and I got over it and you will too all you have to do is say maybe maybe not because no matter how much you are trying to see if you remember or use logic you will not and never find an answer. Nothing is 100 percent certain
How did you overcome it? What was your symptoms? Mines so bad it feels like torture..
Did your mind try to trick you that the memory/thought was real even though you knew deep down it was not?
I was hoping you could give some insight ❤️
@maggiemae712 Yes, I just live with the uncertainty and don’t let it impact my day to day activities
@Anonymous How though when it feels so real?
It’s almost as if, I’ve been in therapy and she’s been trying to get to a “root cause” and my brain took that idea and came up with the most horrific “cause” possible. Even though I NEVER thought that was a possibility. Ever. I’ve been through some tough things in life, but never once have I or anyone expected abuse. That’s why this is so hard and crippling. I cannot function, the anxiety is so bad.
It's funny you say that about therapy. When I started having these abusive nightmares, I told a friend about it, so obviously not a therapist, but he suggested maybe I was abused and that thought has been in my mind since. Did you tell your therapist about it?
@Catastrophelane3 - Yes. I told my therapist after I started having the thoughts and she honestly made it worse. She told me that “memories don’t lie and to trust my gut and it could be suppressed memories” which triggered it to get way worse
@maggiemae712 Huh. I think if you were clear to her that it was not true, that it didn't happen, she should be open to explore that. Especially knowing you have OCD
@Catastrophelane3 - I was pretty clear. I told her I know this never happened. I didn’t even have an actual thought that I was abused. But she said she’s a “traum a informed therapist” and takes those thoughts very seriously. Which I get. But I also have had severe ocd in the past (not treated by her) and the worst thing to say to someone with ocd is to believe thoughts.
@maggiemae712 That sucks. I feel your pain. Its a constant battle that I wish we could rid ourselves of.
@Catastrophelane3 - We aren’t alone. Even if it feels like it. It’s hard because I haven’t found much info on this form of ocd. Just the false memories of doing something harmful, not having harmful things done to you.
@maggiemae712 I've been having a hard time finding in depth info myself. Most stuff I read talks about compulsions and either briefly discusses false memories and intrusive thoughts or completely ignores its existence.
@Catastrophelane3 - There’s a video I found on YouTube that has been helpful. I’ll send it.
@Catastrophelane3 - https://youtu.be/ITiB2v3mZlo
@maggiemae712 - She talks about exactly what I’ve been going through.
I actually I was abused so it’s not really a fear. My dad gave me a bloody nose and sprained wrist from trying to break it. sister gave me a concussion. If you had been there would be a doubt, but honestly I worry more about real events that concern my mistakes causing harm for this reason
I mean there wouldn’t be a doubt
I had pretty poor guidance being raised my an alcoholic and made more choices as a teen and young teen adult
*by
Can OCD cause false memories ? I’ve seen something about it on here before but didn’t have time to read it. I’m really concerned because about 2 days ago, I was reading and read the word ‘kissing’ and then all of a sudden i got this thought in my head (like how OCD usually randomly sets off a trigger) and the thought is so horrible (I suffer with POCD) and I was like omg I know what it’s like to kiss a child (like, it felt like I genuinely remembered how it felt). And I started to panic so much thinking when have a I done that. These thoughts tend to involve my nephews because they’re really young, from ages 1-6, so my POCD often gives me intrusive thoughts about them. But this thought felt so real to the point where I keep thinking it’s actually happened. I did have a dream the other day that had my nephew in and it was so inappropriate and made me feel sick and guilty, so maybe this is where the false memory has come from. And I was like omg what if I’ve kissed him. And then I got really upset even though I know I haven’t because I would never do that ever and it makes me feel sick. So then the thought proceeded to omg you must’ve kissed your brother. And then the thoughts became so real all of a sudden and I started to panic so much ! I feel like this has genuinely happened when I was little (obviously not knowing that what I was doing was wrong) but it’s making me feel so sick and I don’t even know if it actually happened or not !! I’m so stressed having this on my mind and not even knowing. And what makes it worse is that the thought/ memory is like not just a kiss, it’s like a proper kiss and I feel sick !! But I don’t even know if it happened !!! How does the mind do This ?! And what makes it worse is that I remember when I was little and I was playing with my younger brother and we were tickling each other, and then I said I wanted to show him something that would tickle, and I started to tickle him (down there) and then it was like massaging it for a few seconds because I’d done it to myself so thought it was okay. I was only little so obviously didn’t know what I was doing and I told my mum about it ages ago because I felt awful and horrible. But now this thought that this kissing thing actually happened, I don’t even know what to do! I feel so guilty and sick and the fact that I can’t tell if it’s real or not is frustrating me so much ! Can this kissing thing be a false memory ? I feel like a terrible person !
How do you know it's a false memory/OCD and not something that actually happened? I feel like a terrible person. I'm a very creative person, and the more I stress about whether I did this bad thing the more it seems real. The worst part is is that I have no way of reassurance without sounding crazy. I have ROCD and I randomly started obsessing over the 7 months of our relationship whether or not I've cheated on him. Even though I love him more than anything and I would never do that! I'm constantly triggered by coworkers or classmates that I've previously found attractive or liked and/or I know they've liked me or flirted with me. I'm at the point now where I'm rereading simple texts/straightforward texts of these people asking me about school work or if I could cover a shift trying to find proof of something I can't remember. My partner knows about my OCD and is very understanding and supportive. I feel like I'm living a lie. When this first started my rational brain knew this wasn't real, but the more I become obsessed the more it becomes more distorted. I feel guilty for being happy. I just want to be guaranteed it's not real so I can move on with my life. It's moving to specific people now and it's scaring me how real it feels.
I’m so sick and tired of OCD ruining my happiness. Whenever I’m genuinely happy and content, it comes back with full force. I can’t be sure if this is even a real event or a false memory but I constantly feel like a shitty person and that I must confess. Long story short, my ocd has convinced me that when I was young like pre-teen years (I’m 22 now) that I google searched ‘child porn’. I know for a fact I 100% have never watched or liked anything like that and that I am not a pedo but the memory is giving me extreme anxiety and guilt. I have no idea if this is real or not?! How can my brain just make up something that is not real????? I had this OCD thought first occur a couple of weeks ago, I got over it and felt happy again and it came back??! Am I stuck like this forever? Shall I confess to my boyfriend who will definitely not understand? Please someone help me. Do I just sit with the anxiety? Does that work for this type of OCD?!
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