- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh my goodness reading this it could of been me. I relate so much to this. Growing up I’ve never had a crush on a girl, but whenever I see lesbians together I feel in some way turned on or uncomfortable? I’ve always been with guys in relationship but always had ROCD. My current relationship is the best, and I do love him. When I’m not with him I want to see him then when I am it’s like I’m just testing myself? I feel like I’m leading him on or being dishonest. Since my OCD has been getting progressively worse I have been on medications which has also killed my sex drive soooo much. This pushes my fears more. We speak about a future together, I feel excited the idea of moving in together, looking after him and our space sounds amazing. But I don’t know if I’m just in denial? What if I lead him on for longer just to come out when I’m older? I’ve always been someone that’s much more attracted to guys personalities, I’ve had lots of crushes that have been sexual but they’re usually based on someone I’ve got to know. I love my boyfriends personality that’s what’s drawn me to him, I find him attractive of course but I’m not someone who’s turned on by a mans naked body? I never had topless boy band posters round my room when I was a teenager 🤣 but then I probably find the body of a naked woman more sexual? I don’t think this makes me a lesbian, but I’m scared I’m just in the closet Sorry for rambling!!! I’m sorry you’re going through this too but hold onto those moments of love and clarity, I get them too and they’re the only thing that keeps me going. ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
someone mentioned once too that like women are far more sexualized in our culture than men! so yes a naked man is sexual but not as erotic as a woman’s body purely cause of how our culture uses it. but anyways, i totally relate to you. like your experience is mine to a TEE. you aren’t alone. i just finished doing a flooding exposure for SO-OCD and i kept worrying i wasn’t anxious enough. if you don’t know, flooding is where you write down triggering words in increasing level of difficulty (for example, my least triggering or distressing word was “lesbian”) and you repeat them aloud in the face of anxiety. i was worried i didnt feel anxious enough, but pushed through!! you can do this.
- Date posted
- 3y
i think sexuality and sexual orientation can be 2 separate things- here’s what i mean. sexuality can mean who you’re attracted to, yes, but usually the word is intended to describe our relationship with sex itself. orientation more so does a better job at describing the people we experience romantic and/or sexual feelings for! the reason i make this distinction is because your sexuality may be a little more reserved. you may take longer to get turned on, you may be more interested in emotional and romantic connection than physical right away. and i’d say there’s wayyy more people in that boat than purely physical connection or intimacy coming first. sexuality has nothing to do with orientation. the way you experience sex and sexual attraction is a separate idea from sexual orientation. just because you value romance and mental/emotional connection more than sexual, doesn’t make you a lesbian or really any sexual orientation. your sexual orientation makes you that. i’m sorry, this wasn’t as ocd focused but i hope this helped slightly :) best of luck and most importantly— keep leaning into uncertainty!
- Date posted
- 3y
This is really helpful thank you :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Same as you … I have some difficulty with sex so it’s try to take that as a proof like but I find him beautiful and I love his body and everything … i don’t know if that means I’m a lesbian but I don’t want to be because even if I say that I would have crush on boy I think… I jsute want to have a family with my boyfriend and live a beautiful life with him .. If you want to talk I’m here
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for responding! I know I love my boyfriend in more than just a platonic friend way because I’ve felt the way I did on Saturday for my friends. I feel like lesbian isn’t the right label for me, it just doesn’t fit. I love cuddling, hugging, holding hands and kisses but don’t really like going further much. I do it to please him though and then sometimes I find I have a good time. We talked about getting engaged in the future and I was so happy, I’m just so confused
- Date posted
- 2y
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- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 15w
So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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