- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh my goodness reading this it could of been me. I relate so much to this. Growing up I’ve never had a crush on a girl, but whenever I see lesbians together I feel in some way turned on or uncomfortable? I’ve always been with guys in relationship but always had ROCD. My current relationship is the best, and I do love him. When I’m not with him I want to see him then when I am it’s like I’m just testing myself? I feel like I’m leading him on or being dishonest. Since my OCD has been getting progressively worse I have been on medications which has also killed my sex drive soooo much. This pushes my fears more. We speak about a future together, I feel excited the idea of moving in together, looking after him and our space sounds amazing. But I don’t know if I’m just in denial? What if I lead him on for longer just to come out when I’m older? I’ve always been someone that’s much more attracted to guys personalities, I’ve had lots of crushes that have been sexual but they’re usually based on someone I’ve got to know. I love my boyfriends personality that’s what’s drawn me to him, I find him attractive of course but I’m not someone who’s turned on by a mans naked body? I never had topless boy band posters round my room when I was a teenager 🤣 but then I probably find the body of a naked woman more sexual? I don’t think this makes me a lesbian, but I’m scared I’m just in the closet Sorry for rambling!!! I’m sorry you’re going through this too but hold onto those moments of love and clarity, I get them too and they’re the only thing that keeps me going. ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
someone mentioned once too that like women are far more sexualized in our culture than men! so yes a naked man is sexual but not as erotic as a woman’s body purely cause of how our culture uses it. but anyways, i totally relate to you. like your experience is mine to a TEE. you aren’t alone. i just finished doing a flooding exposure for SO-OCD and i kept worrying i wasn’t anxious enough. if you don’t know, flooding is where you write down triggering words in increasing level of difficulty (for example, my least triggering or distressing word was “lesbian”) and you repeat them aloud in the face of anxiety. i was worried i didnt feel anxious enough, but pushed through!! you can do this.
- Date posted
- 3y
i think sexuality and sexual orientation can be 2 separate things- here’s what i mean. sexuality can mean who you’re attracted to, yes, but usually the word is intended to describe our relationship with sex itself. orientation more so does a better job at describing the people we experience romantic and/or sexual feelings for! the reason i make this distinction is because your sexuality may be a little more reserved. you may take longer to get turned on, you may be more interested in emotional and romantic connection than physical right away. and i’d say there’s wayyy more people in that boat than purely physical connection or intimacy coming first. sexuality has nothing to do with orientation. the way you experience sex and sexual attraction is a separate idea from sexual orientation. just because you value romance and mental/emotional connection more than sexual, doesn’t make you a lesbian or really any sexual orientation. your sexual orientation makes you that. i’m sorry, this wasn’t as ocd focused but i hope this helped slightly :) best of luck and most importantly— keep leaning into uncertainty!
- Date posted
- 3y
This is really helpful thank you :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Same as you … I have some difficulty with sex so it’s try to take that as a proof like but I find him beautiful and I love his body and everything … i don’t know if that means I’m a lesbian but I don’t want to be because even if I say that I would have crush on boy I think… I jsute want to have a family with my boyfriend and live a beautiful life with him .. If you want to talk I’m here
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for responding! I know I love my boyfriend in more than just a platonic friend way because I’ve felt the way I did on Saturday for my friends. I feel like lesbian isn’t the right label for me, it just doesn’t fit. I love cuddling, hugging, holding hands and kisses but don’t really like going further much. I do it to please him though and then sometimes I find I have a good time. We talked about getting engaged in the future and I was so happy, I’m just so confused
- Date posted
- 2y
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- Date posted
- 22w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
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- Date posted
- 11w
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
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