- Username
- bananapancakes
- Date posted
- 2y ago
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with rocd, if i break up with my boyfriend would it happen in the next relationship ? has anybody actually experienced what happens after you break up?
with rocd, if i break up with my boyfriend would it happen in the next relationship ? has anybody actually experienced what happens after you break up?
Most likely. OCD attacks the things you care about the most.
Hey, I’ve had ocd in all my relationships. Particularly SO OCD / ROCD. I still have this now with my boyfriend who is lovely. I had a previous long relationship with a boyfriend who I really loved too but experienced ROCD, however when I broke up with him it wasn’t actually bad and I knew it was right. OCD doesn’t make sense and is so difficult to come to, but when we really feel that way and know things need to be ended it’s a completely different feeling! I’ve been reluctant to get into relationships because I’m waiting for the ROCD to start even tho it usually does after the first date 🤣 but we need to push through and try our best to fight it head on! This isn’t to say I don’t still struggle I really really do but breaking up with your boyfriend isn’t the answer it’s just pushing OCDs influence! ❤️
if i really wanted to break up with him would i cry every time we talk about it and feel so anxious about it? like i get in this panicked mode
i’m just trying to figure out if it’s my ocd or my real thoughts. he’s my best friend and i love him and a month ago i saw myself marrying him and now i wake up every morning anxious
Hey yes I broke up with my boyfriend 1.5 years ago and definitely struggled through it. I asked myself a million times if I was doing the “right” thing. In the end, you’ll never know, but when I looked at the facts (I made an extensive list (lol probably a compulsion)), I knew it was a choice that made sense for me. Focus on facts not feelings and you will be okay:) I am a way more grounded and happy person now thst im without him!
was he a bad boyfriend? my boyfriend would have no reasons to break up except for a feeling in my anxiety. or something stupid like is his nose too big
@bananapancakes Ohhh then that’s totally different, I didn’t understand that was your situation! He wasn’t like HORRIBLE or anything, but I realized I didn’t love him, enjoy being around him, and he was stifling my growth. He was passive and didn’t act on his words. So yeah, he was in that “bad” category. It took me a while to realize all this stuff because I convinced myself it wasn’t a big deal! But then I realized it did matter and I had to end it to get better. So my OCD kind of did the opposite, it told me to get back together with him even though the facts said it wasn’t good and even my feelings said it wasn’t good either! But that is NOT the same as just because his butt was big or he didn’t shave as much as I wanted him to. Those are things OCD is trying to get you with and give you anxiety about! Not the same as actually feeling or knowing the facts and not being able to go through with it because of fear! Don’t listen to those voices of anxiety and fear if that’s all they are!
Honestly I’m exactly the same I get urges to break up with him all the time. I still find ocd soooo difficult to navigate I deal with thinking I’m a lesbian, leading him on, wasting his time etc every day. But I am navigating it, It sounds like you’re in an OCD spike please don’t try and figure out where these thoughts come from and just try to sit with them. This is the only way it’ll pass. Maybe write them down face them see them for what they are!
i totally get you. i’ve have the same thing. do you think it would be the bad choice to break up with him?
@bananapancakes Personally yea, I think that’s letting OCD win. For me, my boyfriend is the best person so he’s worth dealing with OCD for, it’ll only happen in the next relationship you get into (probably). At the same time it’s entirely up to you. If he is worth it then deffo keep going, but speak to him about it if you haven’t already. I showed my boyfriend this site and sent him some resources because OCD is so hard to understand if you don’t have it! If you would rather focus on yourself that’s totally ok too, but don’t react with impulse! I get thoughts that life would be easier without a boyfriend but right now I’ve made the decision to try and be present and appreciate the love I receive and TRY my best to give back x
i have a question for those of you going through therapy for relationship OCD. did your therapist ever want you to practice ERP by breaking up with your significant other?
I just want to love him!!! It’s not fair!! Everytime I talk to him I wanna break up… I can’t tell if ROCD is there anymore… please… I want this urge to go away!!! 😭 What if breaking up is the only way… to know. I don’t wanna break up with him. Did anyone on here 100% believed they lost feelings bc of obsessing? 😢💔
Does anyone have any tips for a breakup when you also had/have ROCD? Just found out a few days ago that my partner of 8.5 years was having an affair and he doesn't want to be with me anymore. My heart is completely broken. I had spent the last year healing from ROCD and had genuinely got back to a place where I felt more certain again and back in love but now I have no idea where all of that fits in my life now. He also blames me hurting him as one of the reasons he cheated which is so unfair. I know I hurt him because I did confess all my thoughts to him before I knew what ROCD was, but since learning about it and healing from it I tried so many times to share that it wasn't ever actually about him but he never really understood. He never asked me about this side of my mental health, he just maybe wasn't interested and I'm so angry and upset about that.
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