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with rocd, if i break up with my boyfriend would it happen in the next relationship ? has anybody actually experienced what happens after you break up?

Relationship OCD

Nica

Date posted: 2y ago

Most likely. OCD attacks the things you care about the most.

Isss123

Date posted: 2y ago

Hey, I’ve had ocd in all my relationships. Particularly SO OCD / ROCD. I still have this now with my boyfriend who is lovely. I had a previous long relationship with a boyfriend who I really loved too but experienced ROCD, however when I broke up with him it wasn’t actually bad and I knew it was right. OCD doesn’t make sense and is so difficult to come to, but when we really feel that way and know things need to be ended it’s a completely different feeling! I’ve been reluctant to get into relationships because I’m waiting for the ROCD to start even tho it usually does after the first date 🤣 but we need to push through and try our best to fight it head on! This isn’t to say I don’t still struggle I really really do but breaking up with your boyfriend isn’t the answer it’s just pushing OCDs influence! ❤️

bananapancakes

Date posted: 2y ago

if i really wanted to break up with him would i cry every time we talk about it and feel so anxious about it? like i get in this panicked mode

bananapancakes

Date posted: 2y ago

i’m just trying to figure out if it’s my ocd or my real thoughts. he’s my best friend and i love him and a month ago i saw myself marrying him and now i wake up every morning anxious

tulipomania

Date posted: 2y ago

Hey yes I broke up with my boyfriend 1.5 years ago and definitely struggled through it. I asked myself a million times if I was doing the “right” thing. In the end, you’ll never know, but when I looked at the facts (I made an extensive list (lol probably a compulsion)), I knew it was a choice that made sense for me. Focus on facts not feelings and you will be okay:) I am a way more grounded and happy person now thst im without him!

bananapancakes

Date posted: 2y ago

was he a bad boyfriend? my boyfriend would have no reasons to break up except for a feeling in my anxiety. or something stupid like is his nose too big

tulipomania

Date posted: 2y ago

@bananapancakes Ohhh then that’s totally different, I didn’t understand that was your situation! He wasn’t like HORRIBLE or anything, but I realized I didn’t love him, enjoy being around him, and he was stifling my growth. He was passive and didn’t act on his words. So yeah, he was in that “bad” category. It took me a while to realize all this stuff because I convinced myself it wasn’t a big deal! But then I realized it did matter and I had to end it to get better. So my OCD kind of did the opposite, it told me to get back together with him even though the facts said it wasn’t good and even my feelings said it wasn’t good either! But that is NOT the same as just because his butt was big or he didn’t shave as much as I wanted him to. Those are things OCD is trying to get you with and give you anxiety about! Not the same as actually feeling or knowing the facts and not being able to go through with it because of fear! Don’t listen to those voices of anxiety and fear if that’s all they are!

Isss123

Date posted: 2y ago

Honestly I’m exactly the same I get urges to break up with him all the time. I still find ocd soooo difficult to navigate I deal with thinking I’m a lesbian, leading him on, wasting his time etc every day. But I am navigating it, It sounds like you’re in an OCD spike please don’t try and figure out where these thoughts come from and just try to sit with them. This is the only way it’ll pass. Maybe write them down face them see them for what they are!

bananapancakes

Date posted: 2y ago

i totally get you. i’ve have the same thing. do you think it would be the bad choice to break up with him?

Isss123

Date posted: 2y ago

@bananapancakes Personally yea, I think that’s letting OCD win. For me, my boyfriend is the best person so he’s worth dealing with OCD for, it’ll only happen in the next relationship you get into (probably). At the same time it’s entirely up to you. If he is worth it then deffo keep going, but speak to him about it if you haven’t already. I showed my boyfriend this site and sent him some resources because OCD is so hard to understand if you don’t have it! If you would rather focus on yourself that’s totally ok too, but don’t react with impulse! I get thoughts that life would be easier without a boyfriend but right now I’ve made the decision to try and be present and appreciate the love I receive and TRY my best to give back x

Elliesmith

Date posted: 13w ago

Is this a symptom of soocd

I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?

ashleynicoleeee

Date posted: 12w ago

Does anyone else experience this in their relationship?

When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.

Lilli3bee

Date posted: 6w ago

OCD RUINED IT

My last post I talked about what I had done and how I ruined my relationship the best thing that has ever happened to me and me and my boyfriend have been working on it and fixing things this passed month and he just told me we are single yet committed to each other we are giving each other space so he can make sure he wants this I’ve ruined it in the passed month from everything happening u have been pushing acting as if everything is normal and not growing it’s my fault it’s all my fault I broke this I can’t do this right I love him with everything in me and I just wanted to make things right I’m sorry

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