Teens and chores

I never heard about people with OCD who have messy living conditions. Maybe this is why it took so long to accept my diagnosis. Although I really dont like how OCD is percieved at by the majority of people, I feel like Im weird or something because I dont fit into that stereotype. I understand that a lot of people with OCD have this issue, but why do I feel so different? If anybody else has/had this belief, what helps with feeling more comfortable? Everytime my mom points out my room, and how its messy- Its like I feel so lazy and useless. So then I often plan out everything I was going to do, step by step, always having a reasoning behind everything, because logic always comforts me. When I start tidying up my room, I go full out (Sheets, Laundry, Clorox, Candles, Vaccuming, Then I start going through the guinea pigs cage to rearranging all of their stuff) Yet always somewhere after doing a few things, I start feeling disgusting and almost shameful of myself. 99% of the time I end up laying on my floor sobbing, noting every little thing about my room. How my furiniture doesnt match, how i would rather have solid floor like hardwood or vinyl instead of the carpet, usually things i cant change… and then barely anything gets done in my room. I start to have a meltdown and often dont take care of myself even more afterwards. A piece of me feels like my thoughts are just me being a spoiled brat and wanting everything i dont have- meanwhile others dont even have a roof over their head. The other piece of me is just tired, just emotionally exaughsted. Please comment any thoughts or recomendations to maybe improve motovation and attitude towards doing long tasks.

My son has Pure O religious/scrupulosity with GAD and Bipolar. My son was diagnosed with Pure O religious OCD two years ago. He has to complete a task so that God doesn’t send him to hell if he doesn’t do it. These tasks are dangerous like doing multiple back flips on concrete, or jumping off balconies three times, doing MMA slams on his back three times. The thoughts are telling him if he doesn’t do this he will go to hell. Or he is so worried about blaspheming the holy spirt and loose his salvation. He knows this is his OCD. He knows the scripture and that God is one of peace and love. Been there and done that on quoting scripture and reminding him he is saved. I can see the torture he is going through and it is painful to watch. He also needs to be stuck next to me at all times cuz it makes him feel safe. This is impeding on my life as I feel I have a toddler again, he is 24 and a former 4 star football player. He wants this to stop, he is in therapy and working on it. He was free from these thoughts from November 2023 till April 2025. He is dealing with narcissistic trauma with his father and this triggers the OCD. My question is what can I do to support and help him through these episodes and not agitate him and to help him heal?

My husband and I have 3 kids.. ages 13, 7 & 1. Our 13 year old has always been somewhat “different”, even as a toddler. He was very quiet and socially awkward. Not much has changed in that department. He isn’t into sports and has a very hard time finding anything at all that interests him. He doesn’t have many friends as he is still awkward and has a hard time fitting in. He has OCD. Specifically moral OCD. He feels like he has to confess everything to me that he feels isn’t appropriate. Curse words he hears on tv, something off-color that he or his friends said at school, anything sexual he hears on tv or in a joke. He laughingly tells me but he is reading my face to gauge my reaction on the subject every time. We tell him constantly that he doesn’t have to confess to us but, of course, those who know much about OCD know that this is harder than just simply telling them they don’t have to give into their compulsions. He is very anxious and worries about everything. He also has inattentive ADHD so he’s currently on medicine for that but can’t tell if it’s actually helping anything or not. He’s on anxiety meds too that we are trying to assess. Honestly, we have also wondered if he may be on the spectrum but high-functioning. Not sure. We are very worried about his future. He is not maturing and doesn’t care to learn how to better himself since he’s getting older. Anyway, now that I’ve given a little background, my reason for posting is that I wonder if we have created all of this. First of all.. I am a hovering mom. Im very overprotective and have a hard time letting my kids do much because I’m anxious myself. I grew up with a yelling mom and stepdad. Sadly, I have resorted to this trauma behavior much of my son’s life as well. I try my hardest not to lose my temper and yell but, I am very ashamed to say, that I haven’t been able to do a very good job with that. I have been overly critical also. Learned behavior. I will add that we are also a religious family that goes to church and follows the Bible. My husband was raised differently. His parents are very mild mannered and calm. Very sweet with my husband and his sister growing up and they aren’t “yellers”. They live out in the country and are very lax about many rules when my children go out there. Not that they let them do whatever they want but at the same time… they do seem to have a hard time saying no. My sister in law and her family live across the street from my in laws so they’re all out in the country together living their peaceful, carefree life. 🙄 They seem to think that my husband and I have brought all of this on ourselves with how we have so many rules and boundaries. They’re of the mindset that we should be exposing him to movies with curse words and letting him hear innnapropriate things and curse words more. This is how they parent their 10 year old (who is homeschooled so.. in my opinion they don’t have to worry so much about him repeating the curse words at school. We are at a Christian, private school where I also teach so it’s a bigger deal making sure my kids don’t hear those things and repeat). Anyway.. first and foremost, I’m looking for advice on how to reverse the damage from me losing my temper these last 13 years. I swear I am trying my hardest and strive everyday to be a good mom. I want so badly for them to WANT to keep a close relationship with us when they become adults living on their own. But I am so scared I’m ruining them. Does it seem to be the case? Also, do you think we have caused this OCD? Be honest with everything please. I am constantly very worried we are doing this wrong.