- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Im in mid thirties and also had ocd since I was kid. I managed it well overall as an adult. I have an overwhelming fear at times that time is running out. The decision to have children or not is alsi an overwhelming decision I dont feel I can make. My wife thinks she wants too but my hesitation concerns her too. But I cant tell if my hesitation is ocd indecisiveness or real indeciveness. Nostalgic about past even thougu oresent is objectively good. So yea I can related in some ways and also fell into a funk about life lately. Hope you can find way out!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for posting. It’s helpful to hear that you’ve managed your ocd well in adulthood. I’m hoping one day mine will be easier. I also got married at 22 so I think maybe that has something to do with it as well. I do not regret anything but sometimes wonder if I missed out. Not on partying or doing stupid things, but just being alone as an adult. I think people assume that getting married and having kids will make you happy. And while they bring me tons of joy, there is also great responsibility and that can bring stress too. So I think what I need to do is live in the moment. Love where I am. Enjoy it and not fret about the future or think of the past.
- Date posted
- 6y
Ashley, I've had OCD since teens and 41 now. It's worse than ever because I have more to lose - nice house, good job, 2 amazing kids and a great wife. Still depressed and anxious, from Pure O to scrupulosity to just feeling 'is this now it?' as they grey hairs appear...
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes!!!!! That’s exactly how I feel. I’ve been married 12 years and the entire time it’s been “what if he does something to make our marriage break up”. It’s horrible. And I want to be happy!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
Because you have a great need for certainty - that nothing will change. Have you looked up ROCD?
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I have. I go to counseling, I’m starting back on meds. Because my spouse, though not perfect, hasn’t done anything to me to make me believe he would be a pervert/cheater/ pedo/ whatever else I’ve come up with. Unfortunately, I question him, I see “evidence” of things where it’s just something weird but not evidence. I feel like I can’t beat it. Like I can’t trust him like I want to.
- Date posted
- 6y
The doubting disease...Trust and control, low self-esteem and insecurities used to make me question my wife if she'd been out. But my main theme is me unfortunately, and the things I could have done!!
- Date posted
- 6y
I hate this. And I understand because I’ve felt that way as well. It’s been a crazy ride and I want off!!!! Gotta keep fighting the good fight for sure!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Anyone else develop it in their 30s? I’m 33 and just started showing symptoms in October 2024. So far have only been diagnosed with GAD , PD and depression.I started having intrusive thoughts after a series of panic attacks . My compulsions would be googling. I have made an effort to stop though because it only makes me feel worse. My intrusive thoughts have been around fear of going crazy
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 20w
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
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