- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Im in mid thirties and also had ocd since I was kid. I managed it well overall as an adult. I have an overwhelming fear at times that time is running out. The decision to have children or not is alsi an overwhelming decision I dont feel I can make. My wife thinks she wants too but my hesitation concerns her too. But I cant tell if my hesitation is ocd indecisiveness or real indeciveness. Nostalgic about past even thougu oresent is objectively good. So yea I can related in some ways and also fell into a funk about life lately. Hope you can find way out!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for posting. It’s helpful to hear that you’ve managed your ocd well in adulthood. I’m hoping one day mine will be easier. I also got married at 22 so I think maybe that has something to do with it as well. I do not regret anything but sometimes wonder if I missed out. Not on partying or doing stupid things, but just being alone as an adult. I think people assume that getting married and having kids will make you happy. And while they bring me tons of joy, there is also great responsibility and that can bring stress too. So I think what I need to do is live in the moment. Love where I am. Enjoy it and not fret about the future or think of the past.
- Date posted
- 6y
Ashley, I've had OCD since teens and 41 now. It's worse than ever because I have more to lose - nice house, good job, 2 amazing kids and a great wife. Still depressed and anxious, from Pure O to scrupulosity to just feeling 'is this now it?' as they grey hairs appear...
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes!!!!! That’s exactly how I feel. I’ve been married 12 years and the entire time it’s been “what if he does something to make our marriage break up”. It’s horrible. And I want to be happy!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
Because you have a great need for certainty - that nothing will change. Have you looked up ROCD?
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I have. I go to counseling, I’m starting back on meds. Because my spouse, though not perfect, hasn’t done anything to me to make me believe he would be a pervert/cheater/ pedo/ whatever else I’ve come up with. Unfortunately, I question him, I see “evidence” of things where it’s just something weird but not evidence. I feel like I can’t beat it. Like I can’t trust him like I want to.
- Date posted
- 6y
The doubting disease...Trust and control, low self-esteem and insecurities used to make me question my wife if she'd been out. But my main theme is me unfortunately, and the things I could have done!!
- Date posted
- 6y
I hate this. And I understand because I’ve felt that way as well. It’s been a crazy ride and I want off!!!! Gotta keep fighting the good fight for sure!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve been perturbed for a couple of months now with incessant thoughts about aging and dying. I really am not sure what to do. This feels like other OCD themes, but also really different, because this time, what I’m afraid of is sure to happen. I will either die, or age and then die. It’s been so difficult to enjoy anything lately. I just want to pull a blanket over my head and wait until death comes. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel quite alone. I am trying to enjoy life, but I just remember that it will all be gone in a flash. Nothing really seems to help me feel better. The only escape I have is in my dreams where I can fantasize about never aging or dying. Or at least being able to rewind the clock to have more time.
- Date posted
- 15w
this is probably kinda jumbled but over the past almost year or so i've slowly realized i have ocd (i'm diagnosed audhd but over time i started feeling like those alone didn't cover the whole issue yk?), and recently i've been kinda worried i guess. it’s just that i’m turning 21 in 6 months and i’m afraid that this disorder is going to rob me of joyful adult milestones in my life. honestly being 20 has sucked, i can’t even remember wtf being 18 was like, and my childhood in general wasn't the best either, but i've been struggling a lot as of late and i don't want how i feel now to be the same as how i feel next year. my meds have helped quiet my compulsions a significant amount (i literally felt like i was going kinda cray cray when i was off them 😭) but they’re not completely gone. sometimes it just seems like this is all it's ever gonna be forever and i’m always gonna feel ashamed of myself for just like… existing. my 21 year old self deserves to be happy but idk if i’ll be able to give that to her 🥲🥲🥲
- Date posted
- 14w
I honestly don’t know how I’ve made it this far in my life. OCD has had its claws in me since I was 7. I used to lay in bed and tell myself over and over “it’ll be gone when I’m older, it’ll be better” but it just got worse with age. I’m 25 now and I’ve lost so many years to this. Or to pretending to be someone else in order to avoid it all. I can’t say or do one thing without analyzing it to death. Everything is black and white when it comes to me and my own morality. I overcompensate by allowing everyone else around me to be gray. I don’t allow myself that same grace. I try, everyday. Sometimes I sit and look back on my life and just wonder why. And how. I carry every mistake I’ve made with me from day to day. It rules me, it owns me, and it chips away at the person I could have been without ocd. I mourn myself.
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