For the older folks on this app. I just turned 34 and have struggled with OCD since I was very little. Anxiety has been a part of my daily routine. I have never struggled with getting older until now. This past birthday was hard on me and I’m not sure why. I keep thinking about my past, reminiscing to times when I was younger. I have three young kids and so much to look forward to, but I think I may be acting a little selfish. Maybe it’s because I feel like all the major events for me are done and now it’s all about my kids. And I want it to be, but I miss being young too. Feeling kinda down about it and I don’t know how to get out of this funk.

Im in mid thirties and also had ocd since I was kid. I managed it well overall as an adult. I have an overwhelming fear at times that time is running out. The decision to have children or not is alsi an overwhelming decision I dont feel I can make. My wife thinks she wants too but my hesitation concerns her too. But I cant tell if my hesitation is ocd indecisiveness or real indeciveness. Nostalgic about past even thougu oresent is objectively good. So yea I can related in some ways and also fell into a funk about life lately. Hope you can find way out!

Thank you for posting. It’s helpful to hear that you’ve managed your ocd well in adulthood. I’m hoping one day mine will be easier. I also got married at 22 so I think maybe that has something to do with it as well. I do not regret anything but sometimes wonder if I missed out. Not on partying or doing stupid things, but just being alone as an adult. I think people assume that getting married and having kids will make you happy. And while they bring me tons of joy, there is also great responsibility and that can bring stress too. So I think what I need to do is live in the moment. Love where I am. Enjoy it and not fret about the future or think of the past.

Ashley, I've had OCD since teens and 41 now. It's worse than ever because I have more to lose - nice house, good job, 2 amazing kids and a great wife. Still depressed and anxious, from Pure O to scrupulosity to just feeling 'is this now it?' as they grey hairs appear...

Yes!!!!! That’s exactly how I feel. I’ve been married 12 years and the entire time it’s been “what if he does something to make our marriage break up”. It’s horrible. And I want to be happy!!!

Because you have a great need for certainty - that nothing will change. Have you looked up ROCD?

Yes I have. I go to counseling, I’m starting back on meds. Because my spouse, though not perfect, hasn’t done anything to me to make me believe he would be a pervert/cheater/ pedo/ whatever else I’ve come up with. Unfortunately, I question him, I see “evidence” of things where it’s just something weird but not evidence. I feel like I can’t beat it. Like I can’t trust him like I want to.

The doubting disease...Trust and control, low self-esteem and insecurities used to make me question my wife if she'd been out. But my main theme is me unfortunately, and the things I could have done!!

I hate this. And I understand because I’ve felt that way as well. It’s been a crazy ride and I want off!!!! Gotta keep fighting the good fight for sure!