Feels Unreal

I told a family member and they took it really well. The fact I even said it out loud really surprised me but I’m glad I did.

It’s definitely not all over; this is a mental illness.

Nothing over lol.... There's nothing wrong with you.... Nobody in my life also doesn't know about it..... But if somebody finds it out that's not over for me or neither you...

I know what that is like. I hid my OCD as best I could but others noticed something was there. I would just say “it’s fine, I’m fine” because I was embarrassed. Recently I started talking about it to close family and friends. It’s hard but it has helped me to say these things out loud. Irl.

I have thoughts that others think that I think my private parts smell. It’s twisted. But I freeze up and have trouble concentrating. I don’t overly bathe or spray perfume, I know I don’t smell. But, OCD tells me, “Well I know we don’t smell, but they think you are acting as if we do. So leave the room, bite your cheek, turn your head or many of the other body postures you do to stay afloat. Because, they all know and you will be ostracized and laughed at”.

I still hide my ocd. Even from my partner to a certain extent only bc I don’t think he’ll understand. I only talk about it in here or to my therapist c

I hid mine for over 30 yrs. I finally told him. He’s very supportive and didn’t laugh, act weird or make me feel weird either. He told me of some of the thoughts he has as well. So he and my therapist are the only ones who know. It is hard to share such embarrassing stuff, but one day I felt so alone and defeated and was crying inconsolably and then I said” I never told you this. But I want you to know about my thoughts and how distraught it makes me. And I’ve been suffering ever since I met you”. Yup! I told him. It was very tough to do. I hear ya. You don’t have to share though.