What is a backdoor spike in hocd? How does it feel like?

It's like when you start to feel better and acknowledge your thoughts as just intrusive and then your ocd comes up with something else to make you obsess

I've there a few times these weeks but like you know you've reached that point when whatever your ocd brings up doesn't really make you overthink anymore and you can still act like yourself

This is so nice to hear :) wishing you a complete recovery xx

Did you start getting part of your attraction back? Did you ever even lose your attraction? (Sorry if my questions are bothering you, you can totally not answer them if you’d like)

I’m my attraction is definitely back maybe not all the way back but I can look at guys now and get attracted to them. I still get some false attractions, but overall I feel better

That's makes totally sense. I can't wait to reach that point too. Do you find it easier to enjoy the things you did before now?

It’s definitely easier to enjoy things. I play volleyball and when I was at tournaments before I was always so upset, I didn’t want to be there. I stopped enjoying the sport now I feel so much better!

This gives me so much hope

I wish I could be where you are right now. I honestly feel numb. Like every single girl I find pretty- I’m attracted to. It’s horrible. And it feels so real. I get triggered by my parents relationship, about my sisters relationship, and my younger sister. Anyone who is a woman basically. Like I just don’t feel like I am straight anymore. How do I even know I am straight now too? Like I can acknowledge a guy is cute and but I don’t feel anything anymore and that honestly freaks me out

Listen if you felt that way before all this and you were attracted to boys before you are straight. But if you’ve always felt attracted to girls too, then you could be bisexual. You shouldn’t worry about it, it will be alright! You would know if you were that way, I know you are saying you don’t know but deep down you do. Everything will be ALRIGHT!! Trust me❤️

I was never actually attracted to girls before. At least I think I wasn’t. Well 6 4 months before I developed my ocd I was dealing with severe body dismorphia and I started noticing if girls were pretty or not. But I honestly don’t know. I don’t know if these are attractions are real. They *feel* real. I just don’t know. If a girl has a boyfriend or husband= “attraction” If a girl is pretty= “attraction” Like the people that mostly trigger this are Sophie turner and Annie LeBlanc Like do I even *want* this to happen. Do I want this to be ocd? I don’t know. I am too confused. My head honestly hurts and it’s bringing so much distress and anxiety. But it feels *real*

I’m really sorry you’re so confused! I hope you can figure it out❤️

Ahhh. I am not there yet haha

I think I’m actually there, but I still think of the thoughts. I just don’t acknowledge them as much as before

I think I’m actually there. Oh my that gives me so much hope!

I'm so happy for you :) I hope you'll keep improving even more, be positive. Hoping to reach that place soon, this disorder is hell

It’s really is, I’m so glad I figured that out because I started to get confused as to why I was feeling better. I used to cry all the time and worry all the time. I’m so happy

Can I ask you something? Do the thoughts still seem real or confuse/get reaction out of you?

It’s kind of depends on the thought, like some thoughts trigger me a little bit. But I don’t worry about them to much. I used to get so upset when they would pop up. Now I just kind of know they aren’t true. Because if they were true I would know. It’s wouldn’t be a question if that makes since

I’m glad!! I really do feel better, it’s obviously not gone all the way but I really feel better. Sometimes I get upset because it’s still in my head, but I know I can make it, I’ve made it this far!!

Well everybody’s different, just remember it’s ok to think girls are pretty or attractive. It’s different if you would want to be in a relationship with them, or you would kiss them. Things like that. I don’t really know much about being a lesbian/gay/bisexual but my brothers that way and he said he felt that way since he was little. HE KNEW what he was. It’s hard to understand I know, but everything will get better!

Do I know what I am? Do I want to be In a relationship with a woman? I honestly don’t know. I don’t know anything anymote