Does anyone get intrusive thought that begin with “ I am (insert whatever you don’t want to be)” and then you feel horrible after that though

I just commented something like this on a similar post but it bears repeating... And of course, my disclaimer. I am not a doctor, therapist, or other healthcare professional. I have just been at this a long time. I had a grueling treatment period that lasted a fair number of years. And I've been in recovery for nearly 8 years. I have learned a lot and tried a lot and am just here as a former victim of the "What If?" disease, trying to offer suggestions and ideas, with the intention that y'all can find some hope and comfort. It may not be as elusive as you think... That said... One of the biggest things you can do to help yourself when you get stuck on this cycle of thinking is to reword your fear. Literally reword it. I remember when I first started my recovery... I can still remember the first time this topic came up in my therapist's office. I remember telling her. "I'm so sick of people saying that I'm not my diagnosis. They don't get it. It's been a part of me for so long that while I hate my OCD, I'm afraid that I won't know who I am without it." She told me, "Then what do you have to lose by giving it a try?" I'm glad she didnt give up on me. Peace is possible and hope is alive. And now what I can say with assurance that staring my fear down and changing what it tells me was one of the main catalysts for me getting into full recovery. I still have abxiety now and again but OCD will never let you in on the secret: EVERYONE will deal with anxiety at skme point. Or maybe not...if they're like a purple alien from Saturn. I also know that fear is a liar and deserves to be told so. Remember how I just shared that when starting my recovery, I didn't want to hear that I'm separate from my OCD? Part of that was because I literally could not imagine what it would be like to pull away from it for even a moment. I constantly heard that I wasn't my diagnosis or that it didnt define me but no one ever told me what to do when it did or when I couldn't separate myself and did pyt my identity in the OCD label. Thank God for my therapist. The best way I can explain it is to give you an example using your post. When I first started, mine would have said "I am going to get fired at work and end up losing everything." Or "I am unwanted/unloved." So in my case then, I could reword it by saying something like, "I am having feelings of being unloved and unwanted. I'm really afraid that they are true." I was able to eventually share this with the people who it pertained to...and of course I am definitely well loved by them. But even if you only start by telling yourself, it is worth practicing. Another example from my own description above could be "I'm starting to feel nervous at work about getting fired. I would feel very sad and scared if it came true." Or for those who get stuck on thoughts more than emotions of it, an example could be "I'm starting to have thoughts about getting fired at work. My thoughts create fear and I cannot stop thinking that the fear is real/true." That's how NOT to wrap yourself in a blanket of OCD. It is a great way to not let it become your identity. I'm not sure if any of you find this helpful but maybe there's something someone can take away. Even if it's only a sense of hope knowing that you bow have an examlle of someone who overcame and is here supporting the rest of y'all. I hope this was helpful.

It happens. No sense in criticizing yourself just because OCD is doing its job. It happens. You'll feel better soon. Have you talked to any of the NOCD professionals? I think it's a premium version thing. I've heard of it but don't know much about it. I'm about to head for bed. I hope it helped a little.

I’m confused your obsessing because you are what?

Oh sorry I thought you meant you didn’t have ocd and were the (words I won’t say) I keep getting the thought that “I am a “p” (referring to pocd) and it’s traumatizing like what if it’s denial and I’m a monster

Well it’s definitely helpful and I loved reading your post , I suppose the because my obsessions are so horrible I fear that without ocd and compulsions they will come true

Great. That's a good place to start. If you have a great therapist already, it is possibly worth probing into deeper with them. :)

I do have one but what do you mean go deeper ? My fear is that I’m a monster and will hurt someone and that I will loose everything I’ve cared about

Explore it further. Talk about it more.

That's what I meant. Sorry.

"I have feelings about me being a monster. I have fears about hurting others and also about losing the things I care about the most." I would only do it that way if it was me because it gets did of the I am and I will statements you have. I'm not sure if that helps make the obsession feel any less threatening at all but if you have a therapist it could be helpful to talk to them about this suggestion some more. I'm not a professional and while I've been at this a while, I technically dont have professional or legal merit to much beyond what I've already done.

I did reword it that way in my head and I definitely does help , I’ve been diagnosed with ocd she know what my obsessions are but I just am having a hard time right now I worry that everyone is wrong and I’m in denial and am actually crazy

Yesss