- Date posted
- 7y
- Date posted
- 7y
Someone said something that really made me think on here early today which was that your fears only have as much power as your belief that you have an inability to cope with the consequences
- Date posted
- 7y
The best thing to do would probably be to ask him!
- Date posted
- 7y
If you believe you wouldn’t be able to cope with him leaving you, then it has the most power. If you believe it would be a horrible valley of your life but then you would develop a new life and be happy again, the thought has less power
- Date posted
- 7y
It was probably some bot that harvests info and sends out mass texts. Does your husband know about your OCD? I can see where it would be hard not to take it personally. Is there a person you can ask to check and see if your fears are reasonable before you try to confront him? I know that most of OCD does not respond to logic, but sometimes you can talk yourself out of worst case scenarios. Ask yourself, does any possible other explanation exist as to why this could be happening? Is there any evidence for or against this I could be ignoring?
- Date posted
- 7y
Thanks for that. What a true statement. It’s sad that I can’t see that when I’m in the middle of an attack. I’m so glad I have people to turn to. In researching this app, it turns out that it’s becoming a viral thing and something that is spamming people. It’s on the news. So basically I’ve been worrying for no reason. And I feel like a turd.
- Date posted
- 7y
Glad you feel better Ashley! It’s great you have your mom and therapist, but just remember to cut yourself some slack too. It’s not so easy to just stop worrying. I feel like it almost upsets me more when people ask ‘why’ as though it’s as easy as flipping off a switch. Just remember to be gentle on yourself. He’s a great guy, but you’re also a great woman, with a side of OCD ;)
- Date posted
- 7y
He’s really angry with me since I confronted him to ask him what this was. He’s in real estate, and his number is on the internet, so his point is that he has no clue who all has saved his number but that he isn’t giving it out to anyone like that.
- Date posted
- 7y
I did. He was pretty upset that I think that. He said he has no idea what it is or who would do that.
- Date posted
- 7y
This has unfortunately been an ongoing thing with he and I. Where something weird happens and I go off the deep end every time. Some person in our church sent a friend request over the Bible app. It was a teenage girl. He had never seen her before in his life. He gets tons of spam all the time and I read into it and get worked up. He’s just over it and tired of being under the microscope all the time
- Date posted
- 7y
I can talk to my mom and my therapist. Both of which have never said anything is there. It’s always “why are you doing this to yourself and your husband”. He really is a wonderful person. I would be shocked if any of this were happening. But the what if’s are so strong and I’m so scared
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
My husband told me recently he was going to hang out with a local friend he often goes to see. It got very late and I heard nothing from him. Tried calling and texting. Stayed up all night thinking maybe he was dead or injured. Logged into our cell phone account to see if I could find any recent location and discovered he had talked to someone on the phone that night but he was like 2 hours away from home at that time. And also saw a phone number he was spending hours on the phone with every day. I had been confronting him about his secrecy prior to that and he kept telling me it was this friend or that friend, or he was just taking the dog on a long walk or having a fire out back. He finally called me back in the morning and I yelled at him. He told me he was randomly with two friends from longer ago and had gotten drunk and passed out, and hadn't told me about these plans because I had a heart surgery a few weeks prior and health concerns and he didn't want to stress me out. He told me the phone number was a girl that he related to on trauma factors and that he views like a little sister. He said he didn't tell me because he was caught up in his trauma spilling of events he didn't share with a single person since they occurred to him 35 years ago, due to feelings of shame and anger, and that he thought I would view it as emotional cheating. I told him it really could be viewed as emotional cheating and in principle, honesty shouldn't be dependent upon the outcome... lying isn't justified because I would be upset by the truth. Since then, he's been more open with me and tells me when that girl is calling, talks to me about their conversations, answers her calls when I'm present. I talked to him about boundaries and things I'm uncomfortable with or bothered by and he changes those things. Especially because I have trauma from an emotionally abusive ex, having him lie to me when I directly questioned him about what I was perceiving or experiencing and telling me those experiences weren't real, when they actually WERE real, has really messed me up. Now when he wants to hang out with a friend, I don't trust it. But I'm handling these feelings in destructive OCD ways. I spend literally the entire time he's gone thinking and thinking and thinking about what if he's lying or what he might be doing instead of what he said. I call and text him intermittently and feel like all of my obsessive thoughts are confirmed if he doesn't answer right away. I'm always checking the phone history. The driving toll history. Scrutinizing everything. I cannot get out of this mindset. It's like this horrible mixture of emotional flashbacks and OCD. I don't want to live like this. I want to work on my relationship in productive ways. I want to be able to use my own time while my husband is gone. Even if he lied to me and is somewhere other than he said, I don't want to lie in bed just thinking and thinking and thinking for entire days and nights. I'm not sure what I'm really asking here. This is just the only place where I feel like I can share this without people thinking "wow she's crazy".
- Date posted
- 10w
So for context, I've just started seeing someone. He's really handsome, sweet and very respectful. He has ADHD, so he's quite literally all over the place; Impulsive behavior type things. Well, he's starting to get inconsistent with texting and when that's the only communication we use, it becomes a battle for me. He always says he's working, which to be fair, he is, but it didn't stop him in the beginning. Again, I know he has ADHD and no two days are alike, that being said, I notice even the slightest change in texts. It's quite literally a curse. So I over analyze EVERYTHING to point of anger and tears, then I obsess if he even still likes me, if he's slowly phasing me out or ghosting me. Then when he does message me, I feel some sense of relief, but I notice he's not the same as he was before. He's done this to me a couple times, so I'm getting used to it. He told me yesterday he couldn't come see me because he was fixing his car, which he was - he showed a picture and posted them online, too. He's a car enthusiast, so he's always doing crazy things like that. So I woke up with the knowledge that he was working on his car today, only to find out he went to the beach. It felt like a punch to the gut. I tried reasoning with myself that maybe he went with his parents or a friend and he still had to finish working on his car, but then the dark, obsessive thoughts started creeping in and I spent the entire day miserable and over analyzing all of our texts and constantly checking to see if he still follows me on Instagram. I didn't even realize my OCD was this bad. I really just thought it was perfectionism, and it still is, but I'm afraid it's about relationships, too, and I'm concerned that I'll be this way with every man I date, given I actually find one 😔
- Date posted
- 10w
So this is my second post of the day and before I post this I’m not looking for reassurance just feeling very fearful about this situation and need to vent. Sometimes my false memory ocd gets so bad I have to download past data of any apps on social media to make sure I didn’t do anything and even then it doesn’t help. I did that with my Snapchat data and I saw that I had someone from a very toxic and past relationship on my snap that I remembered I had deleted a couple weeks after my boyfriend and I started dating. I didn’t notice it until I recently had the compulsion to go recheck all the data I downloaded to make sure. When I saw the date I deleted them and that it was a couple weeks after my boyfriend and I got together, I felt my face get hot, I started tearing up and I started freaking out. And then of course my thoughts started rolling in “What if you deleted them because you texted them and did it to make sure your boyfriend didn’t see?” Or “What if you still had their number in your phone and texted them?” Etc. etc. I felt horrible after I noticed that he was still on my snap, I know I forgot because I was only focused on my boyfriend and I spending time together, and I don’t hardly ever use Snapchat in general so I just basically leave the app alone and such. I’m just so worried now and It’s bothering me. I also experienced a thought like “What if I knew he was still on there and I kept him on there on purpose?” I can’t deal with these thoughts anymore, they’re so exhausting, and the fact that I even have these thoughts and they always try to attack my relationship just makes me so mad and upset.
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