My husbands phone got a text from an app called IRL which is apparently an app geared toward teens. It said he was “sent a compliment”. After doing research it looks like someone has to share their contacts info within the app that’s how you get a text. But it sent me in a panic. My ocd is thinking did he give his number out to someone? A teenager? Has he done something bad? I hate this. I feel like every time I turn around there is something else.

Someone said something that really made me think on here early today which was that your fears only have as much power as your belief that you have an inability to cope with the consequences

The best thing to do would probably be to ask him!

If you believe you wouldn’t be able to cope with him leaving you, then it has the most power. If you believe it would be a horrible valley of your life but then you would develop a new life and be happy again, the thought has less power

It was probably some bot that harvests info and sends out mass texts. Does your husband know about your OCD? I can see where it would be hard not to take it personally. Is there a person you can ask to check and see if your fears are reasonable before you try to confront him? I know that most of OCD does not respond to logic, but sometimes you can talk yourself out of worst case scenarios. Ask yourself, does any possible other explanation exist as to why this could be happening? Is there any evidence for or against this I could be ignoring?

Thanks for that. What a true statement. It’s sad that I can’t see that when I’m in the middle of an attack. I’m so glad I have people to turn to. In researching this app, it turns out that it’s becoming a viral thing and something that is spamming people. It’s on the news. So basically I’ve been worrying for no reason. And I feel like a turd.

Glad you feel better Ashley! It’s great you have your mom and therapist, but just remember to cut yourself some slack too. It’s not so easy to just stop worrying. I feel like it almost upsets me more when people ask ‘why’ as though it’s as easy as flipping off a switch. Just remember to be gentle on yourself. He’s a great guy, but you’re also a great woman, with a side of OCD ;)

He’s really angry with me since I confronted him to ask him what this was. He’s in real estate, and his number is on the internet, so his point is that he has no clue who all has saved his number but that he isn’t giving it out to anyone like that.

I did. He was pretty upset that I think that. He said he has no idea what it is or who would do that.

This has unfortunately been an ongoing thing with he and I. Where something weird happens and I go off the deep end every time. Some person in our church sent a friend request over the Bible app. It was a teenage girl. He had never seen her before in his life. He gets tons of spam all the time and I read into it and get worked up. He’s just over it and tired of being under the microscope all the time

I can talk to my mom and my therapist. Both of which have never said anything is there. It’s always “why are you doing this to yourself and your husband”. He really is a wonderful person. I would be shocked if any of this were happening. But the what if’s are so strong and I’m so scared