- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
What you’re doing is called a checking compulsion. And the fact that it causes you to worry (ie thought spiral) means you’re still suffering from OCD. The thing is, if you really wanted to leave your partner, you wouldn’t imagine it happening and then check to see how it makes you feel and then get a lack of anxiety that confirms you want to leave. If you wanted to leave you’d think: “this person is terrible, I’m unhappy, and I don’t want to put up with this anymore. Leaving will be hard but it’s the right thing.” You wouldn’t need to imagine and test yourself to make sure. You’d have an active feeling, not a lack of response to an imagined scenario.
- Date posted
- 6y
It is a compulsion
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s a compulsion and definitely the backdoor spike. Not feeling anxiety anymore always sounds like it’s such a great goal and that it will fix everything but really it just creates more questions and worries once you’re there. Keep up the work, your journeys not over. Sit with the anxiety you feel about feeling nothing rather than googling. Your instincts here are right, keep it up.
- Date posted
- 6y
What if I dont always feel anxious about not being anxious but rather I just feel worried about it? because I get worried about not being anxious about not feeling anxious when I get the thoughts if that makes sense
- Date posted
- 6y
What’s the difference between worried and anxious to you? Maybe by anxiety you mean the more physical side like shaking, sweating, difficulty breathing. And worrying is just more thoughts. If you’re in a thought spiral and can’t get out, even if it’s not provoking physical anxiety, it still seems like you’re engaging in a compulsion then. If you can’t just acknowledge the thought let it pass by without meaning, you’re not done.
- Date posted
- 6y
Well I perceive anxiety as the physical symptoms, but worrying just as not being comfortable with something or fearful of something without the anxiety. So for instance, I think about leaving my partner but I dont feel anxious, so Im like ok but why am I not anxious? so that thought comes to my head without anxiety. So Im like alright but why dont I feel anxious when thinking about not being anxious?so I basically just get worried about that
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve started ERP therapy with a really great therapist, and I haven’t gave into my compulsions but I still have anxiety and yesterday my brain was telling me that people were zombies😭 is this normal?
- Date posted
- 18w
Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!
- Date posted
- 16w
I know I am going a bit cuckoo because my period is coming up, but lately it feels like every intrusive thought I have, I *like* it. Like I genuinely feel like I like it, and then I immediately panic because I start checking. Mentally, emotionally, whatever it is. And I know that is a compulsion. I *know* that. But it feels so real that I cannot stop myself. Every single time I check, it still feels like I like the thought, and it is driving me absolutely insane. It is especially the POCD thoughts. They feel so real. I feel like something is going on mentally, like some kind of confusion or glitch, because I swear I was not like this before. I would have intrusive thoughts, and they would feel real, but not *this* real. And I do not even know if this is normal. I know OCD is **supposed** to feel convincing. That is the whole thing. But I have never experienced it to this extreme. I have never gotten the same thought so many times and still felt like, “Oh my God, I did enjoy it,” even after checking a million times. It is like no matter how many times I check, it feels like I liked it. Especially during intimacy :( and it is making me lose it. Then I start thinking, “Well, I am in distress, so maybe that is proof it is not actually me.” But right after, I am like, “What if I am only panicking because I care about what society thinks and not because I actually have morals?” And then I spiral again, wondering if maybe I just care about how I am seen rather than who I am. I am panicking so much no today. I had to take my Xanax today for the first time in two months, and I needed three separate doses. I really need some support right now.
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