ROCD with ex
My Rocd has attached itself to my ex. Whom I haven’t thought about in almost a year, and If I did, it was literally just passing thoughts. Now they bother me! It’s like my ocd is telling me to leave this relationship that is the absolute best for my ex.
I’ve been dealing with this for a year. I can feel what it’s like to be with the other guy the memories are so vivid I get this feeling and it scares the heck out of me it is so strong I always worry it’s not ocd and it’s real because no one talks about how it literally brings up things that really happened and how you felt when they happened and it’s the most heart breaking thing because I love my boy friend so much and the thought of even thinking about not being with him scares me so bad.
@Louise b Hi Louise I know exactly what you’re going through, it makes me feel like I’m back in that place and makes me feel like the feelings that I had when I was dating the other guy is what I’m feeling now and my ocd is telling me I still have those feelings. I really have to remind myself that it’s ocd and of course im experiencing this because it’s just like a person who has revisited a traumatic memory and they can literally remember every feeling and emotion as if they’re reliving that traumatising time now, that’s exactly like ocd, but worse because ocd has brought up that memory countless times, reminding us constantly and intensifies it by 1000. Remember it’s not how you feel now but it’s a memory that’s placed at the forefront of your mind that’s been amplified by ocd. My thoughts are so extreme that it pops into my mind relentlessly, even when I’m thinking about something totally unrelated it tries to link it back to the ex. There are times that when the Person pops into my mind my lips want to make a smiling expression or feels like I like the thought, makes me so sad and I feel so guilty that I cried yesterday ago as I just couldn’t take these thoughts anymore. My bf is amazing and I feel so bad that I have someone else in my thoughts 😢😢😢
@Flower33 Yea exactly omg. And it like plays into your dreams? It plays into mine. Things my bf does my brain will just like connect it to the other guy and I’ll get so upset. It’s brutal and it feels so personal and real. I literally pray every night to wake up without it because of how hard it is. I just don’t know how to even begin to put erp into practice with how extreme my thoughts feelings and memories are.
@Louise b Yeah it’s played in my dreams but not often but when it does I feel down as soon as I become conscious. Sorry what do you mean by things your bf does and your brain connects it to the other guy? Yeah I get worried if I’ll ever be free of this, I’ve obsessed about this so much it’s literally indented in my brain. I’ve tried erp and I’ve failed miserably exactly because of how strong the thoughts and feelings are, it just feels so real and feels like that’s how I feel now. I try to remind myself that my mind wants the thoughts and sees the thoughts as positive warm and nice so it will trigger nice feelings, just like when your mind sees something scary it will trigger anxious feelings, that’s what our Brain is doing. Also remember that the mind wants it but WE don’t, remember the times when you did like someone you agreed and embraced those thoughts, but in this instance we don’t want and hate these thoughts xx
I’m literally going through the exact same thing. Had a random thought of an ex and now my mind is telling me that he’s the better one for me and I prefer to be with him instead of my bf who is the best bf, been going through it for 8 months now and these overwhelming makes me so sad 😢
Does it ever feel like the thoughts are soo real? And then you see your current partner and you’re like “how could I ever leave you?”
@taylebrun For sure, they feel so real and so strong and it’s so convincing, if tells me that I don’t love my bf and the other person is so amazing and he’s the one for me, but I just couldn’t think of leaving my bf, I just love him so much and adore him
I feel like I can’t even tell my partner without feeling guilty
@taylebrun Omg i don’t think I could ever tell my bf, I think it would just break his heart and don’t want him to think it’s true and scared he might
Literally my brain forgot all about my ex and then the other week something reminded me of him and now I’m spiraling. The feelings, the thoughts, the “what ifs” I feel like I’ll never be free of this. Like its so stupid! I was literally with this dude 3 years ago, and we were only together for 8 months. It’s not like I just jumped into the relationship I have now with my bf. I gave myself PLENTY of time to heal… I just feel so defeated.
@taylebrun I know it’s hard but try not to ruminate and look for answers, when it first came in my mind 8 months ago I was ruminating so much for hours a day, weeks and in a deep mental battle and it’s only just reinforced the ocd, made it more real and indented in my brain that the thoughts and feelings are constantly there. You have to trust that it’s your ocd, remind yourself that you were happy before this ROCD thought came about so clearly it’s your ocd doing this to you, if you really wanted the ex you would agree with the thoughts and embrace them but you’re not. If it’s too difficult to not ruminate try and delay it for as Long as you can, start with 5mins, 10mins, 1 hour etc, and that it’s just noise in your head xx
Rocd! Anyone else ever have a worry that they’d rather be with their ex? I don’t actually think it, but I worry that I would want that, and then I feel guilty, like my minds already made up. It gets me super anxious and upset. Makes me feel as if I’ve betrayed the girl I just married, and that my life is ruined. Now. I would never leave her, I don’t want to leave her, I don’t want to lose her, and I certainly don’t want to go back to my ex. But my mental obsessing over that scenario is driving me crazy, and causing me to doubt myself.
My Rocd has attached itself to my ex. Saying that he is the one for me instead of my boyfriend who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just don’t know what to do anymore, has anyone else experienced this??? Please I need support right now.
I’m in a relationship, 8 months now, and my narcissistic (diagnosed) ex and I had broken up about 6 months prior. We would sometimes drunk call each other but that’s about it. Anyhow, my current boyfriend is everything I could ask for. He treats me better than my ex ever could and I love everything about him. I randomly got a feeling about my ex the other day and hyper-fixated on it. I know continue questioning if I still have feelings for my ex even though I know I don’t at all and want nothing more than my current boyfriend. I don’t want reassurance because I know that won’t help, I just want to know if anyone else has ever had this OCD obsession of convincing themselves they want a toxic ex or just an ex back while with someone else? Most of my OCD obsessions are so obnoxious I’d know they couldn’t be true, but this one, while still obnoxious, isn’t as crazy as the others but it hurts 10 times more.
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