- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
So you know how NOT wanting to be attracted to girls made it seem impossible not to be? Well, WANTING to be attracted to boys can sometimes have the opposite effect: it shuts everything down. Attraction generally doesn’t work like: “hey I want to be aroused by this; okay go!” The more you try to will a thought/feeling (just like the more you try to suppress a thought/feeling) the more impossible it is. Try this trick: embrace the the thoughts that say you won’t be attracted to boys. In fact, make a game of it. Go out and look and ogle and flirt and tease and tell yourself “ I’m not going to feel anything! Nope! Not me! Just try me, boys. Hit me with your best shot.” When you stop focusing so much on making it happen, and stop expecting it, it can actually start to happen naturally again.
- Date posted
- 6y
What should we do
- Date posted
- 6y
To your guys questions: - I was attracted to men before, but I was not totally as in tune with my sexuality and sexual needs as I became once I truly let go and accepted myself. I’d had only male partners, 2 long term relationships, at that point. - My process took like 5 or 6 months once I started facing things. Denial periods before that where I didn’t know how to deal with the thoughts and pushed them away was about a year. - I am very supportive of LGBT people and their rights, so I wasn’t scared of being attracted to women, I was afraid of not knowing myself or knowing how to be true to myself more than anything. And I was afraid my prior relationships were some kind of lie or delusion. That was the scariest part. - Also, before OCD I remember feeling fairly open to there one day being a girl I liked. And I considered myself somewhat fluid/bi.
- Date posted
- 6y
Omg thanks I’ll try it
- Date posted
- 6y
I’d love to hear your story because you seem to have a successful go at taking this thing down. If you don’t mind, I feel as if it’d give me hope and direction. @ pureolife
- Date posted
- 6y
Me?
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh ok no srry
- Date posted
- 6y
no it’s fine, id love to see how you’re doing also?
- Date posted
- 6y
I recovered from SOOCD a few years back. I’ve written about it on other posts, but there’s so many on here it would probably be hard to find them now. How I recovered may be too extreme for some sufferers. Please don’t take my story as a sign that you have to follow the same path. Also don’t take it as reassurance, obviously, that you’ll have the same reaction. My story with SOOCD: I found that accepting the thoughts as true to be what helped me eventually see they weren’t. I let myself want women as much as I could, in fact, I sought the thoughts/feelings/urges out. I checked women out, imagined being with them and what things I wanted, and searched for crushes. I also let myself feel repulsed by men. I allowed myself to be disinterested in them entirely. Even laughing at how immensely unattractive they “truly were.” After a few months, the unstoppable and immediate thoughts/urges about women just weren’t so urgent anymore. Women started to seem more like, well, people again. Then I became completely enthralled by a new guy at work. Physically, I felt a pulse between us. More than I’d ever felt with anyone, guy or girl or whatever. We started hooking up and having some of the best and most physically fulfilling sex I’d ever had. My body wanted every part of his masculine body. And I felt it in such a real, genuine, and present way (because I wasn’t seeking it out or forcing it) that I knew I did still like men, maybe more so than before OCD hah. I had a few relapses that would last a day or two at a time (once that initial passionate spark started to — very naturally — wane a little), but with continued therapy. I eventually made peace with all my sexual thoughts and urges (and lack there of), and they felt more genuine and real than ever. Nothing felt blocked or wrong or “not me.” Looking back, it was a pretty intense form of ERP to embark on. And I still had some work to do in being okay with uncertainty even after I had crystal clear evidence that I could, in fact, be super attracted to men. That final step of accepting uncertainty and risk whole heartedly is what I think drove my recovery.
- Date posted
- 6y
What an inspiring u r❤️ this makes me so happy and it gives me hope
- Date posted
- 6y
Inspiration*
- Date posted
- 6y
But I just have a question like I’m just curious lol, were u super attracted to men before ocd
- Date posted
- 6y
wow I’m proud of you:) how long did your process take? And did you ever have the fear of “what if I end up actually liking females if I accept the thought” when you tried to accept the thoughts? This is giving me hope :-)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
I just can’t do this shit anymore.im tired of these “arousal” sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t like girls anymore. I’m tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because I’m anxious. I’m tired of not knowing who I am anymore. I’m tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. I’m tired of this life
- Date posted
- 12w
hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible
- Date posted
- 8w
hey guys, i am really really struggling and i feel like crying. evry day i get this feeling of sexual attraction to the same gender, and i get those feelings even just thinking about it now. i hste them and want them to go away but they simply won’t and it has me thinking that this is just how my life is gonna be like. when i was fully healed or atleast thought i was healed from the false attraction and soocd, i still sometimes got that attraction feeling, and i would force my body not to feel it. i hated it and was scared of liking it so i would like stop breathing and make it stop. it was only ever occasional but this is making me concerned now too, because i still sometimes felt that feeling when i was healed. now currently my main trigger is masculine girls, but when my soocd first started i had no false attraction or attraction like this towards girls, and it was all just in my mind like saying, “don’t look at that girl or you’re gay.” there was one point in my soocd where i was worried about being attracted to my friends, but i am greatful in the sense of i know that that is not true and my main issue is the false attraction watching videos and i have experienced it once in real life too and i hated it. please lmk what i should do or even if you can relate. i am sick of feeling th is way, and i am a christian too so this makes it harder. i’ve tried everything like accepting it, or trying to even say to myself yes u do like it but it always just leads to me being scared.
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